I need help getting my life back.

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lenaburns58
lenaburns58 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello, my name is Helena and I am 23 yes old and overweight. All through high school I was thin and never had a worry about my weight. But than when I turned 18 it all changed. I gained 100 pounds in a year. And have gained about 50 more since. I went to the Dr and had blood tests to see if there were any medical reasons for the Wright gain but it all came back negative. The issue... is me. I've been fighting every day the past 5 years to love myself but I just can't. I've lost friends, and quality of life over my weight gain. So now while I still have time left in my 20s to enjoy life, I want to get my life back. And enjoy the rest of my life. The problem I'm having right now is I don't know where to begin. I need some guidance. I used to have a personal trainer, we worked together and in 3 months I only lost about 13 ibs. But then I went through a bad break up, couldn't afford her anymore and gained back what I lost plus some. Please please if you have any advise support or anything.. I'd appreciate it. I want my quality of life back.

Replies

  • lenaburns58
    lenaburns58 Posts: 6 Member
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    I don't know if there is a way to post photos of me then and now. But if I figure out how I will
  • LifeasCham
    LifeasCham Posts: 9 Member
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    Stay encouraged. Take it one day at a time. It may not fall off fast, but remember each day you can make some progress.
  • Abliture
    Abliture Posts: 9 Member
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    I totally understand. Break ups can send us over the edge sometimes.
    You may have gained muscle while working with that trainer. Which is a good thing & doesn't always reflect your hard work on the scale, but it does in the mirror & the way your close fit.

    Since you said you don't know where to start, I'm gonna help make this cheap & simple to get going NOW:

    1. Move your body everyday (break a sweat, youtube video workouts, store bought workout dvd's, or just 20minutes of jumping jacks or running, etc)
    2. Measure or way everything you put in your mouth & log it. (Try & make some of the foods you eat contain high fiber; beans, vegetables, lentils, etc)
    3. When in doubt, STOP, either move your body or go to sleep.

    You can do this, I believe in you. No excuses. You started 23 years ago, now just adjust some things.

  • debdob95
    debdob95 Posts: 9 Member
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    Hello.
    what you have to do is just start somewhere.
    Start to practise sport even if it's just 10 min at the beginning, keep pushing and you will be able to do more.
    Start to eat more vegetables and fruits, it really help I swear.
    Start to follow MFP day after day and you'll see a difference.
    I'm french but you can add me if you want to. I'll give you motivation ;)
  • bayridgeboy
    bayridgeboy Posts: 4 Member
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    Sticking with it is the most important thing. Never give up on yourself
  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member
    edited September 2015
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    When I was 23 I paid for a nutritionist over a personal trainer. The best advice I hade from her back then was fill the cupboards and fridge with whole and healthy foods. Binging on twelve apples was better than binging on twelve candy bars. It meant if it was late at night and I wanted chocolate I had to go through the motions of getting to the convenience store. This really helped with developing discipline. That was long before the support of MFP. My lord just think if this app wasn't here - the fact that you can just reach out like you did and have numerous kind souls reach out to put some air under your wings is already a blessing. The start has begun! How wonderful and fortunate. Of course the challenging work has to be done by you. It is something every single soul on here has to face. 23 is a great age. If you lose in a sustainable and healthy manner you'll be in fantastic shape in due course. You have begun it! Congratulations!
  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
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    I started my journey at 23 and obese. I'm down 84lbs now and almost at goal. Just start by making small changes and stick to your daily calories.

    I sent you a friend request :)
  • lenaburns58
    lenaburns58 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you all very much. Sorry for the late response. My phone went tips up! But I am so ready!

  • Breeli0519
    Breeli0519 Posts: 63 Member
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    I agree with everything everyone else has mentioned. The only thing I would add is that it sounds like there is some emotional stuff going on too since you stated that you try to love yourself but you don't. I would encourage you to connect with a counselor/therapist to get to the bottom of that.
  • susan_mcconnell
    susan_mcconnell Posts: 43 Member
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    I am in your same boat. I went from 138 to 220 from my senior year of HS to my freshman year of college. I now way 255 and I am 23. I need support and advice as well. All I can say is, give it time. No one is the same, we cannot lose at the same rate. Do not set lofty goals, work at it and let it be natural. My goal is to be at 160 by May 2017. In a perfect world that means 5 lbs lost a month. I do not know if that will work, but I am going to try. I would love to be at my final goal of 128 lbs by then, but that equals 13 lost a month, and I personally at my step in the process, cannot picture that. But I may prove myself wrong when I get in the thick of it. Currently, for me it is still day 1.
  • faely
    faely Posts: 144 Member
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    kallemann67 wrote: »
    Binging on twelve apples was better than binging on twelve candy bars.

    Wow..I never thought of it like that. I just beat myself up for binging on anything at all. That's a great insight, thank you!
  • MamaMollyT
    MamaMollyT Posts: 197 Member
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    I do exactly what kallemann67 advised. Nothing junk comes into my home. If my kids want ice cream we drive to the store but one small container, share it and done. Also read. Read a stack of different weight loss books. No one is 100% correct or the only way but you will get ideas, recipes, information. And they all have one thing in common. Cut the sugar. Eat fruit and vegetables. You can try paleo, whole 30, vegan, vegetarian, Okinawa diet, weight watchers.... All encourage the same thing. Cut sugar, add real food. Get a workout buddy and start a program. There are free fitness groups all over. Look for one. Your motivation must come from within but we all have a hard time some days. Having a group for support helps.
  • trp183
    trp183 Posts: 7 Member
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    I went through something similar where I had a large amount of weight gain when I was in my 20's. (about 80-100lbs) Coupled with depression. Had been super thin all my life without trying. I tried many diets including food diaries, Atkins, shakes, went vegetarian, juice cleansing and had some minimal success but would gain back when I wasn't starving myself. I ended up having a host of issues. Some of the causes were related eventually to first CFS then probable lyme disease( and arthritis from the lyme disease) and poly cystic ovaries. Additionally my iron was super low. And I had a hard time tolerating iron supplements which only compounded the problem since I was so exhausted. Oh and super bad migraines. Multiple times they were sure I had some type of auto immune disease but could never really figure it out.
    All during this time I was raising my son. There were periods (years) family members lived at my place. Helping raise my niece. Years went by and I was just holding it together and doing the best I could but really just surviving. Some days just going to work and making sure we had clean clothes and food on the table were all I was capable of. There were periods of time I would sometimes just come home and fall asleep within an hour. I am now in my early 40's and things progressed to the point where I had more days with migraines then without and I was getting massive allergic rashes all the time. And frankly I felt like crap.
    I had always known about healthy eating. Had been eating grass fed and free range at that point the processed food and sugar/ starch was still there. Then something happened that changed my life. I had already decided, once again that that I would concentrate on getting healthy because I could not keep on the road I was on. A lot of people that I helped and lived with me moved away . I had the time to take care of me. And since I was not living with any kids or picky eaters I could change and control what foods came into the house. I went for an internist appointment. The doctors office had moved and they sent me to a new Dr. who had been part of the practice but who I had never seen. This moment changed my life. He basically said I was starved of nutrients and if I could stick it out he could help me. He sent out a lot of bloodwork and told me a pretty basic diet plan.

    Eliminate all sugars, breads, baked goods, artificial sweeteners, no processed foods, no white rice, no wheat bread, no candy.
    -no artificial sweeteners other then stevia ( can use a little agave sometimes if needed)
    drink lemon water throughout the day. This helps to alkaline your blood. This needs to be from fresh lemons.
    NO PROCESSED FOOD
    each meal should consist of Protein (fish, chicken, turkey, eggs, seafood, and raw vegetables salads.
    Basically I take a paleo and whole 30 type of approach.
    No processed seems easy until you realize that mayonnaise and basically all condiments and salad dressing are full of sugar, are processed and full of bad oil.
    SOOOO.......I make my own mayo with a stick blender and olive oil ( I do use the light tasting kind which is not as good but I am going to try to mix my regular virgin olive oil with coconut or avacodo oil.
    NO DAIRY. when I eat dairy I get super hungry and start to crave crazy foods and gain. Think about it ,the purpose of dairy is to make little calves huge cows quickly.

    Skip forward. I have been eating this way for about 2 months and I feel great. I have lost about 20 lbs and honestly I haven't even started my workout plan yet but am starting today. ( I have been more a little more active but not anything drastic or a formal routine) I feel like I eat more calories then I have on the other diets but my body is not starving and I am eating real food. I have done well with spices and seasonings. ( I was always a foodie so I grow a lot of fresh) Have made my own low/no sugar condiments. There are so many whole 30 and paleo recipes out there it is easy to find things you like. I just substitute things like almond flour for bread crumbs for crab and salmon cakes and make my own mayo , spicy mayo, pickles. tarter sauce, balsamic and olive oil dressing, turkey sausage. ( my favorite recipes for sausage is from Queen of the Red Double Wide - I just substitute turkey for pork) If you experiment with spices and marinades made from good ingredients being without the dairy and easy condiments doesn't seem so bad. Since coconut is a good fat I also make red thai curry at least once a week. Honestly some of the homemade stuff is so good I don't know why I wasn't making it before.
    When I went for my recheck I was able to add back in beef. ( I use grass fed) and I do use some grass fed butter or ghee sometimes. And I can have some occasional potatoes. I steam a lot of vegetables but have found a lot of fresh already cut up ones at trader joes .Does it take extra time and effort? YES. Additionally I had to go on some supplements PROBIOTICS, IRON, COD LIVER OIL, MAGNESIUM, VITAMIN D, and ZINC. I still have some problems with the iron supplements sometimes but I am getting better.
    Frankly in the beginning I had to let some other things go. I was experimenting with food a lot and was working a lot so sometimes my kitchen was kind of a mess. I am usually a laundry fanatic and I was down to wearing mis-matched socks. During the weekend I would make a lot of my homemade items for the week and shop and find new things. And the first few days I felt horrible. But I had been through that feeling before when I had juice cleansed so I knew it would pass. I honestly think my blood sugar dipped because I had been relying on sugar and caffeine to get me through the day. But after the first few days I felt better, (not as good as now but better) people mentioned how good my skin looked and that I looked "different".
    I don't know if the additives in the food or/and the sugar was making me sick. I do know I feel better. I have more energy. I am losing weight and barely have headaches anymore. And just so you know any diet or diet change you always loose a lot of "water weight" in the first week or so and then it slows down. Don't get discouraged by this.
    I know this is lengthy but I really wish in my case I would have figured this out in my 20's. I think all the diets I did try made me more depressed and discouraged. When I started this change it was more about feeling good then losing weight. And I think you should also try to take that approach. Fast and furious diets are not able or realistic to be maintained. And you usually gain more weight back. When you think about it we didn't have all these processed foods before and a lot of foods have changed due to pestisides , GMO's. and factory farming.

    I hope you find a way that works for you. If you are like me it is probably hard to put yourself first. And it is so easy to grab something fast and convenient that you think is relatively healthy. And one last thing. Plan what you are going to eat and prep for it. The hardest time is when you are hungry and have to try to figure out what to eat and make something quick. If that happens try a little almond butter or an apple to hold you over until you figure it out and make something healthy.
    Good luck to everyone out there!

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