Need some input for fiancé!
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Don't worry about tracking - 1/4 plate lean protein, 1/4 plate carbs, 1/2 plate vegetables. Water only (no other drinks) & black coffee only. Stop eating processed food. Focus on 5 serves of veg & 2 serves of fruit a day and while aiming to get that he'll lose weight. If he wants a treat make it SMALL and a snack after he's eaten a real meal so that he's full and isn't likely to continue eating afterwards.
Completely unnecessary. Just reducing calories and eating smaller portions is all that's needed to lose weight.0 -
The one visit I made to a family farm, and this was very traditional, the big meal was at lunch when everyone came in to chow down. It was a lot of food because those big boys were burning a lot of calories out in the field. The women prepared potatoes, chicken, salads, breads, mostly from products they had right there on the farm. It was quite a production.
Similarly, the industrial workers I got to know working out in the bush would have their big meal at breakfast in the hotel they were staying in, and they would chow down for a big meal and put some spares (like a bun) in their pockets. These meals would be hearty, with large portions, with plenty of cheese on top. But it would be the one big meal they needed to fuel their day.
If you are partnering up to keep him fed, you may have considerable control over how much he eats. You could portion and weigh all his meals for him, and log them. What you would have to come to an agreement on is seconds, evening snacking, and beers.
It might be interesting to log his intake for a couple days just to see how much he's taking in now. Losing weight might be as simple as reducing his intake by 100 calories from what he's eating now.
Maybe come to an agreement when he has eaten his portion, to fill up his corners on greens.0 -
He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
That's what I was thinking, too. At his height, weight, activity level and sex, he's got to have a very high TDEE... so he must be eating a heck of a lot to maintain that weight. I think small changes at first would be best for someone like him who isn't motivated enough to do a big lifestyle change. Things like reducing portion sizes and liquid calories.0 -
Like others said he needs to just eat a diflict, you could calculate his calories a prepare his meals and snacks for him, then he has no excuse0
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Well if I'm going to be blunt......................he really doesn't want to lose. Because if he REALLY did, he would do it. There's desire and then there's commitment. He needs commitment and that's only going to come from him.He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
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thank you0 -
Check out the series if books "Eat This Not That" on amazon.com pretty inexpensively. It gives alternatives instead of don't eat x. My hubby liked this approach and it hot him started on a new path.0
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
I think your last sentence captures the essence of the problem.
Logging food takes 5-10 mins per day.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
But he has to find a bit of motivation, or it isn't going to happen.
I completely agree. I just think he's so down in the dumps right now that he thinks that he HAS to stay like this forever and just stopped caring. I think I'm going to make changes to the meals I prepare for him. If he realizes how easy it is to change how he eats & be healthier maybe he will get some motivation. Worth a try, right?0 -
Logging isnt that time consuming once you have your standard ingredients in your database, beyond that id agree with ninerbuff about him not being ready to lose weight or really wanting to. If he did then he would commit, without that then any discussion getting him to change his consumption is a bit pointless because he wont put it into action.
If you make his meals then cnat you prelog them for him and show him in practice the size of portions he needs to be eating against what hes consuming. He will 100% lose weight if hes in deficit, but perhaps this time he needs to do it in a more sustainable manner. It still has to ome from him though.0 -
consult with a nutrition specialist. That's what I have done. A good nutritionist will provide you with hand outs that will assist you with counting carbs. They can help layout a daily meal plan. Learn to read and understand labels. Use this cite to log and track meals, snacks and exercises. Keep this in mind, he didn't get this way over night. Slow and easy wins the race.0
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
I think your last sentence captures the essence of the problem.
Logging food takes 5-10 mins per day.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
But he has to find a bit of motivation, or it isn't going to happen.
I completely agree. I just think he's so down in the dumps right now that he thinks that he HAS to stay like this forever and just stopped caring. I think I'm going to make changes to the meals I prepare for him. If he realizes how easy it is to change how he eats & be healthier maybe he will get some motivation. Worth a try, right?
I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.0 -
I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.
I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.
Osric0 -
OsricTheKnight wrote: »I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.
I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.
Osric
Your arithmetic is a bit off. 625 calories is only about 16% (between one-sixth and one-seventh of the 4,000 calories a day you assume he is eating), not "over 1/4 of what he currently eats."0 -
I wasn't under the impression there was any type of time frame or goal. We're talking about someone who isn't trying to make a change; his fiance is doing it for him by planning his meals. So if he's not putting in any of his own effort, beyond being willing to eat slightly fewer calories (because that's what is being planned for him) he should be happy losing weight at all, albeit losing at a slow rate. The whole point is to let him see how easy it really is and hopefully create motivation.OsricTheKnight wrote: »I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.
I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.
Osric
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OsricTheKnight wrote: »I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.
I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.
Osric
I once calculated how many calories I was taking in to get to the weight I had reached (left photo). It was 4000+ calories as well. To get that level of intake, I was having not just second servings, but thirds. I was eating all the cake and cookies and everything else in my path ... I was on the "see food diet" ... you know "see food, eat food"
Dropping 625 calories out of a 4000 calorie day is less than a 16% caloric intake drop, or 1/6th, not "over 1/4". That's easy. It's one less serving at dinner, only one slice of cake instead of two, and one less beer.
I have mid-western farming relatives. I have a good recollection of the volume and type of food that is consumed.
I think the peer pressure from his friends and relatives will be the harder part ... when I was out there, food was always on offer, and hard to be refused.
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Start small and start with him. See if he'll agree to weigh and log for a week to see where his baseline is. Then, start changing one thing at a time. It's slower, but if he lowers the amount of food while keeping the same activity level, he'll feel better over time. And when I say start with him, log your food too. Even if you don't need to lose weight, log it. You don't have to show him your log, but might make him feel less self-conscious about it and want to keep it up if you're logging too. Find out foods that he likes to snack on that he shouldn't and banish them from the house, even if they're foods you like. I had to do that with chips. Now, if I really REALLY want chips, I'll go down to the gas station and buy a small bag, which is usually more than a single serving, but at least I don't eat an entire big bag without realizing it!
I also say start small because making a lot of huge changes will normally backfire. Changing one or two things at a time and giving yourself time to get used to them means you're more likely to make and keep those habits and you don't feel like you're depriving yourself.0 -
There are a lot of good points here. But I know from my own stubbornness that he's not going to lose anything until he owns this process for himself. So, when he's ready, tell him to sign up for MFP and we'll talk to him.0
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Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!
I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,0 -
Commander_Keen wrote: »Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!
I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,
I hope that was a typo! He's 6'5", 375, and works a physically strenuous job. This input is nowhere near what he needs.
OP ... please do not follow the above advise.
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Commander_Keen wrote: »Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!
I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,
nope. everything is wrong with this post,0
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