I lost 10kg.. I gained 10kg. :-(
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ChloeMaay96
Posts: 11 Member
I'm back again because unfortunately, after my very successful weight loss earlier this year, I've managed to return to the dreaded weight of 80kg. My heaviest was 80.5 and I REFUSE to get there again.
Unfortunately for me, dieting isn't so straight forward. For roughly ten years I've suffered with a range of eating disorders and anxiety disorders of all shapes and sizes. This makes weight loss increasingly difficult, and scary, and questionable.
Don't get me wrong, I know the formula! In fact... My body responds very quickly and efficiently to dieting. What holds me back is the itch, and the fear to itch. I find it hard to sepearate weight loss with over-restriction, obsessive calorie counting, fad diets, starving, binging, purging and this anxiety about the whole situation.
I often frighten myself so much that I tell myself "you're better fat than sick!"... Which is true, but can't I be neither?
I've talked to my partner and I'm hoping with some support, and some truth about my thought process, i won't feel so alone an hopeless in those dark times.
I'm here to lose 20kg by the new year, but most importantly, I'm here to be healthy!
Anyone else share these anxieties/problems? I'd love to hear some advice!
Xxx
Unfortunately for me, dieting isn't so straight forward. For roughly ten years I've suffered with a range of eating disorders and anxiety disorders of all shapes and sizes. This makes weight loss increasingly difficult, and scary, and questionable.
Don't get me wrong, I know the formula! In fact... My body responds very quickly and efficiently to dieting. What holds me back is the itch, and the fear to itch. I find it hard to sepearate weight loss with over-restriction, obsessive calorie counting, fad diets, starving, binging, purging and this anxiety about the whole situation.
I often frighten myself so much that I tell myself "you're better fat than sick!"... Which is true, but can't I be neither?
I've talked to my partner and I'm hoping with some support, and some truth about my thought process, i won't feel so alone an hopeless in those dark times.
I'm here to lose 20kg by the new year, but most importantly, I'm here to be healthy!
Anyone else share these anxieties/problems? I'd love to hear some advice!
Xxx
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Replies
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Your profile says 20, but your bio says 18.0
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Definitely get where you're coming from! After struggling with anorexia and beating it, I was still left with full blown anxiety surround my weight and eating patterns. I've been at a healthy weight since recovery but if I gain a kilo or two I go into freak out mode and try a new diet then I feel I'm being too restrictive and that makes me anxious because I really don't want to be where I was before… And that's just a couple of kilos, so it's safe to say I'm still not completely chill with my body..
My advice for the anxiety is to tell yourself that your weight issues are in the past. Tell yourself that you trust yourself to make the right decisions for your body and that you will gain some days and lose other days but as long as you're healthy that's all that matters. I know it's so much easier said than done, but I find it very powerful when I just say to myself "I got this, I trust myself, I will do what's right for me."
If you need anyone to talk to, add me
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I was 85kgs when I first started I went down to 69 and I gained back 7kgs now I'm at 74~75 and the problem I think was I deprivated my self too much last time so I'm trying to eat as much possible but in order to lose weight(2000 calories a day)0
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Have you talked to your school counselor? They are there to help 0
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Don't diet.
By that I mean, don't completely change around how and what you eat while you are losing weight. People who do that tend to go back to their old way of eating after they reach their goal weight. If you go back to your old way of eating, you'll go back to your old weight.
Record everything your eat without making changes for a couple weeks. At that point, look back through your food diary and find small changes that you can live with for the rest of your life.
Keep tweaking things here and there. You want to find an eating plan that works for you long-term but has fewer calories than you ate before. The weight will slowly come off and, once you reach your goal, you can add back some calories within your new eating plan rather than going back to your old eating habits.0 -
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LadyTalulah wrote: »Definitely get where you're coming from! After struggling with anorexia and beating it, I was still left with full blown anxiety surround my weight and eating patterns. I've been at a healthy weight since recovery but if I gain a kilo or two I go into freak out mode and try a new diet then I feel I'm being too restrictive and that makes me anxious because I really don't want to be where I was before… And that's just a couple of kilos, so it's safe to say I'm still not completely chill with my body..
My advice for the anxiety is to tell yourself that your weight issues are in the past. Tell yourself that you trust yourself to make the right decisions for your body and that you will gain some days and lose other days but as long as you're healthy that's all that matters. I know it's so much easier said than done, but I find it very powerful when I just say to myself "I got this, I trust myself, I will do what's right for me."
If you need anyone to talk to, add me
Thanks babe, helps heaps just knowing there's support out there xx
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queenliz99 wrote: »Have you talked to your school counselor? They are there to help
I've graduated and live out of home now so I get support from my partner and doctor :-)0 -
myheartsabattleground wrote: »Your profile says 20, but your bio says 18.
Not overly relevant!
Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles in the past with the weight loss process. I can completely understand. I used to be in a situation where it was 'all or nothing'. I either over-ate or restricted until I was weak and unable to function properly. I managed to turn it around and find some help and I am now in a much better place 'mentally'. I wouldn't have re-started the weight loss journey if I didn't have a healthy mindset because I wouldn't be doing it properly. My first bit of advice is to speak to your doctor about your obsessive tendencies. You need to work through your issues with food and find a healthy relationship with it. Secondly, I know an eating disorder mindset won't listen to the fact that - starving IS NOT success - it took me a long time to understand that but it's absolutely true. I spent a lot of time on MFP educating myself about the process. Once you come to terms with how your body needs fuel and why, you'll start seeing the 'starving process' in a totally different light. I really genuinely hope you are able to find peace with yourself and with food - it doesn't have to be all or nothing and it doesn't have to cause such distress to your lifestyle. You can and will find a healthy balance. Stick with MFP - We'll help you here
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Going through it. Feel free to add me
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I lost 90 lbs and I'm terrified to gain it back. If I even feel myself getting bigger I start to panic and stop eating so I know how you feel add me and we will get through this together0
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