The weight/fat gain with Parenthood dilema
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The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
Yes, as a mother of almost 3 year old twins, I agree. It's only now that they are getting more independent and I have found a way to prioritize my/our family's health.
About 3 weeks after the girls were born, I was still carrying roughly 10kg above my pre-pregnancy weight. The mind-bending fatigue that comes with small babies made it easier for me to have ice-cream for dinner or lunch depending on whether my husband was away or not. And then I had 25 kg to lose instead of 10.0 -
victoria_1024 wrote: »It's definitely easier said than done. I have 4 kids 6 and under, the youngest being 8 months old. I barely sleep anymore. Someone is always up too late, someone else up too early, and I'm up to feed the baby during the night. So there's a lot of just plain exhaustion where i would love to skip my work out and nap or just sit and relax. Also with 4 kids my house is a disaster. I feel a lot of guilt when I work out when the house is messy because I feel like I'm neglecting my mom duties.
All that being said, I've managed to make my health a priority and I've lost 64 lbs since my baby was born and only ten lbs away from my goal. My kids get to experience a happier healthier mama, and a slightly messier house. It's not always easy but worth it.victoria_1024 wrote: »It's definitely easier said than done. I have 4 kids 6 and under, the youngest being 8 months old. I barely sleep anymore. Someone is always up too late, someone else up too early, and I'm up to feed the baby during the night. So there's a lot of just plain exhaustion where i would love to skip my work out and nap or just sit and relax. Also with 4 kids my house is a disaster. I feel a lot of guilt when I work out when the house is messy because I feel like I'm neglecting my mom duties.
All that being said, I've managed to make my health a priority and I've lost 64 lbs since my baby was born and only ten lbs away from my goal. My kids get to experience a happier healthier mama, and a slightly messier house. It's not always easy but worth it.
Oh I like this ^^^
In case nobody tells you enough, in name of all the women and mothers around the world, you rock, and sound like an amazing mother ! #StayStrong
Thanks! 0 -
I'm finding with a lot of my clients whose kids have moved on to college, that their kids after school activities (sports, dance, band,etc.) took up a lot of their time for themselves. My cousin was in band and the weekends were basically spent during his highschool years, attending competitions across the state. The parents footed all the expenses since there was hardly any support money from the schools (lol, yet they claimed the bands excellence in competition placing). My aunt and uncle were spending at least $200 a week. And out on the road on the weekends, lots of the foods were canned, prepped, etc. Stress and food...............great combination for weight gain.The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
Yes, as a mother of almost 3 year old twins, I agree. It's only now that they are getting more independent and I have found a way to prioritize my/our family's health.
About 3 weeks after the girls were born, I was still carrying roughly 10kg above my pre-pregnancy weight. The mind-bending fatigue that comes with small babies made it easier for me to have ice-cream for dinner or lunch depending on whether my husband was away or not. And then I had 25 kg to lose instead of 10.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I'm not in the crazy after school activities thing yet but yeah, I can imagine that you don't have much time to cook on those days.
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I'm not in the crazy after school activities thing yet but yeah, I can imagine that you don't have much time to cook on those days.
This is exactly why I freezer cook on weekends. I have one child, but I was a single mom for years until I just got remarried. Between dance, karate, swim lessons, girl scouts, gymnastics, and school events, it is/has been nuts. Sometimes I would have 15 minutes to get her fed and changed for an activity.
It is EXTREMELY important to me that she eat a lot of vegetables and I didn't want to rely on fast food several days a week, so I made my time work for me instead.
I think fitness was easier when I was younger and childless. I could go to the gym at my leisure instead of having to cram it in at 4am or at 10pm. I wasn't so tired because my responsibilities were so few compared to now. I also feel the guilt of going for a run or to the gym when I could be doing yardwork, cleaning, or laundry, not to mention helping with homework or even just doing activities together.
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I held on to significant weight after each of my first few pregnancies. Looking back, I know I was using my kids as an excuse for not "having time" to exercise. And I told myself I had "thyroid issues" while stuffing myself with ice cream and Dr. Pepper on a daily basis.0
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I have two teen boys that we adopted as newborns. When my boys were preschool/toddler age, I was in to see my ob/GYN and I complained that I had gained just as much weight as my friends who had birthed their babies. She very passionately said, "this just confirms what I have been saying for years--that it is not pregnancy that makes women fat, it is the mommy lifestyle".
Every stage is difficult in its own way. When my kids were small, I either did not work, or worked about 10 hours a week. Every day we went to a park and I walked with them in the stroller, with a promised visit to the playground if they behaved. Yes, there was mind-numbing fatigue, plus the emotional stress of caring for little people 24/7 and feeling like I was being sucked of life by all their needs. But I could definitely make time for physical activity!
Once both were in school (kindergarten or higher) I went back to work 30+ hours per week. The schedule became crazy! They had after school activities, and I had work, plus trying to do just as many mommy/wife duties as before I went back to work. The home responsibilities didn't let up just because I took on another job! This was probably the most difficult situation. You completely lose control of your schedule because of their lives. Three years later I had gained 35 lbs and was well into the overweight category headed for obese. That is when I found MFP. The schedule was still crazy, but I learned to carry workout clothes with me everywhere and walk, and eventually run, while they were in their activities. The crock pot also became my best friend, as during this time hubby lost his job, so eating out was not an option. I lost 44 lbs.
Now I have one teen driver and one young teen. Things are getting easier, with them being so much more independent. I still am at the mercy of their schedules to some degree, but I have learned to plan ahead to fit in workouts, and to plan meals ( we still mostly eat at home. $$ is not as tight now, but we are trying to save for college now). I have maintained a healthy weight, although I have gained back some of my loss (perimenopause seems to wreak havoc with metabolism, etc. or at least that is how it seems).
You CAN maintain a healthy lifestyle around your kids lives. It is difficult. And I am constantly juggling the balance between what is fair for my work, my family, and me. When my kids leave, I may take it up to the next level, fitness wise. Right now, I feel that giving much more time to my fitness program is not the right thing to do. So that means I may not have the six pack abs I want, etc. but there will be time for that later. It's all about priorities and choices.
Thank you OP for starting this discussion! Very valuable in many ways.0 -
I'm finding with a lot of my clients whose kids have moved on to college, that their kids after school activities (sports, dance, band,etc.) took up a lot of their time for themselves. My cousin was in band and the weekends were basically spent during his highschool years, attending competitions across the state. The parents footed all the expenses since there was hardly any support money from the schools (lol, yet they claimed the bands excellence in competition placing). My aunt and uncle were spending at least $200 a week. And out on the road on the weekends, lots of the foods were canned, prepped, etc. Stress and food...............great combination for weight gain.The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
Yes, as a mother of almost 3 year old twins, I agree. It's only now that they are getting more independent and I have found a way to prioritize my/our family's health.
About 3 weeks after the girls were born, I was still carrying roughly 10kg above my pre-pregnancy weight. The mind-bending fatigue that comes with small babies made it easier for me to have ice-cream for dinner or lunch depending on whether my husband was away or not. And then I had 25 kg to lose instead of 10.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
My oldest was in baseball and many weekends were spent at games, not just one game, but tournaments and often out of town. Now that he's in college, I will only get to attend a handful of games at best, so I'm enjoying less hectic weekends which always made things harder.0 -
I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. I haven't gained any weight compared to pre pregnancy. The fat has migrated from my chest to my stomach tho which makes me rather sad.
My husband and I are very active people. We met climbing. All of our dates were skiing or climbing or running dates with some food afterwards. When we get alone time we are in our home gym. If we are lucky enough to get a babysitter our dates aren't movies or dinners but time at the climbing gym or trail running together. We eat a lot of veggies. We cycle to work. We organize family vacations around activities like skiing and hiking. We don't invest in screens at home (tablets the cable etc). Those are choices we make.
But we are also very privileged. We have a full time paid nanny who cooks and we outsource a lot of home maintenance including cleaning and landscaping. We live in a place where fresh high quality food is readily available and with excellent weather and safe streets and tons of outdoor recreation opportunity.0 -
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I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.0
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Lol, before being parents, my DW and I ate out exclusively. Rarely cooked at home till we had my daughter.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
Nope, you're not the only oddball! I'm thinner now than before my daughter came along. Having a busy toddler has kept me more active; being a parent has also increased my motivation to exercise for health. However, I do wonder what it will be like when she's older and not looking to me for entertainment. If I will be more sedentary once she's independent.0 -
The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
I have twins as well and it isn't. I carve the little time I have to work out or me time but it is usually at the expense of sleep. They are very active so I feel like I am constantly fighting fatigue.0 -
Bbeliever215 wrote: »The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
I have twins as well and it isn't. I carve the little time I have to work out or me time but it is usually at the expense of sleep. They are very active so I feel like I am constantly fighting fatigue.
I also have twins, and am a single mom. I look back on when I used to be able to come home from work and go for a run whenever, however long I wanted. Now I don't sit down until they go to bed. You'd think all that runnign around for them would help with weightloss, but severe post-partum depression found me. Eating was my only "fun" thing I got to do for myself. Now that they are 5, I am finally turning the corner and finding some time for myself and making taking care of myself more of a priority. It is still a struggle though.0 -
Ha, I can relate to this. I was always obese in adulthood (basically I went from overweight to obese my first year away at university) but I had made lifestyle changes and lost almost 50 lbs prior to getting pregnant with my first. Gained almost 70 lbs, lost just over half and got pregnant again. Gained 30 lbs which put me right at the same final weight.
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.0 -
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.
I remember those days blearily. What I found worked for me was limiting TV time for my older son to only during the baby's nap time. So he would happily sit and watch TV while I put the baby down and then got a short nap myself. Since he knew that was the only TV time he was going to get, he was pretty good at watching quietly and not getting into anything. I was lucky, in this, I know.
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I'm 20 pounds down from my pre pregnancy weight with three kids, 6, 7 and 13. It's easier now for me to be slimmer. I have to take care of myself and provide an example for them. Pre kids I lived on takeout and beer and stayed out until 4 in the morning. Now I solely cook at home and I quit drinking with the first pregnancy and never picked it back up. My choices are better now because I always have three sets of eyes on me.0
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Ha, I can relate to this. I was always obese in adulthood (basically I went from overweight to obese my first year away at university) but I had made lifestyle changes and lost almost 50 lbs prior to getting pregnant with my first. Gained almost 70 lbs, lost just over half and got pregnant again. Gained 30 lbs which put me right at the same final weight.
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.
But none of that is necessary for weight loss or health. You don't have to do any formal "exercise" to get enough exercise for health. And if you eat at a deficit you will lose weight.0 -
I don't think having children has had that much of an impact on my weight. I put on a lot of weight with both pregnancies but I also lost it all quickly afterwards. I am much more active running around after my toddler and taking both boys out for walks/activities each day. I don't eat as much during the day as I don't have the time and I'm also much more content being at home with my family. I also eat the same meals and portion sizes as my eldest (he's a big boy!).
The biggest problem with my weight has been work. Sitting on my backside all day in an office has me snacking all day and then coming home in the evening I just wanted to sit and snack all night to unwind. I'm due to go back working part time evenings just before Christmas so I'm hoping this is a good compromise!0
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