I was OBESES but HAPPY

How the heck are you? My name is DaceyG and I recently lost a *kitten* ton of weight. The picture above was take in August of 2015. I want to talk about happiness as it relates to body image.

Because I currently have no life, I spend countless hours on the computer reading and watching weight-loss success stories. One day soon I hope to make one of my own. But how do I start, every single one I've watched and read started the same way. They discussed how unhappy they were with their bodies and how they felt out of place, ashamed, ugly and/or depressed. I started to wonder, would my success story start the same way? Did I miss the memo of being disgusted with who I was and the way I looked?

When I was at my heaviest weight of 238lbs (2014) I wasn't ashamed of my body. In fact I showed more skin than I dare to show at my current weight (172lbs). When I looked in the mirror I saw beauty and made damn sure people around me were aware of that too. So making a success story about how I workout my way into happiness would be a lie. I was (and still am) happy, confident and I love myself. I can't watch/read these success stories without wondering why these amazing beautiful people would feel this way.

When I look at my before picture i realized the lack of a smile on my face, I had to question was I truly happy? Yes! I was still happy. Let's break down the things going through my head as I took that picture back in October 2014.

Inner Dayday: "What the hell are you about to get yourself into? girl you haven't run or even taken the stairs in almost five damn years and now you call yourself trying to do P90X. You know that pizza you love sooo much? Well, you can't have it. You're a vegetarian who loves her veggies deep fried or dipped and ranch, you mean to tell me you going to be eating just plain veggies?".... and so on

So with all of that going on in my head I hope you can see why the smile does not exist. I was about to change my whole lifestyle. I know that some of you (if anyone is actually reading this) might be asking "if you were so happy then why did you want to lose weight?" Let me debunk something for you all. My goal was NEVER NEVER to lose weight. My goal was/ still is to be on the show American Ninja Warrior. Now for those of you who don't know the show, lets just say it is a physically challenging goal and I could not have any hopes of completing that goal at 238lbs.

Now back to the original point of this post. Why do all these success stories start so depressing and self-loathing? The only answer I could come up with is, society and the media. I watch a lot of movies and TV shows and it is rare to see someone like me (woman, black, and obese) play the leading lady or the love interest. Therefore, it is no surprise that people would not feel like they would be desired based on the way they look. As children we always wanted to be the hero, but heroes were always played by Skinny women with big boobs or totally ripped men. So what does that make the rest of us? evil? villains? HELL NO! We are just as beautiful and heroic as anyone else. Remember the question we were all asked as a child "If someone jumped of a bridge would you do it too?" My point is, if you want to lose weight or make any changes in your life, do it because you want to, Not because you think that's what others want of you.

So yes I was obese AND happy and NO ONE can take that away from me. So the next time society says "you're not good enough" just smile and say "you're right, I'M BETTER!"

[Edited by MFP Mods]