Binge eating problem... I need your advice.

Hey guys,
I'm here looking for your advice.

I started my weight loss journey in 2013 and I lost 20 pounds (I have 30 pounds to lose in total).
To achieve that, I counted calories and exercised with full commitment.

Problem is, I gained it all back since I felt so deprived of sugary food and junk food.
I just ate it all back and stopped going to the gym since it felt like a failure.

Now, I'm trying to find a balance and eat things I like so I don't feel so deprived anymore and can hold this lifestyle forever. The problem is that I just can't find any balance.

The 2 things I can't control myself with is vanilla frozen yogurt and vanilla cake. Same thing also happen when I buy chips. I buy these so I don't feel deprived and just end binge eating for 6 months every night.

I just don't know what to do anymore.
If I don't buy it, I'm obsessed, unhappy, and I just end up eating tons of whole containers of ice cream anyway, but even more than I would ordinary.
If I buy it, I don't feel deprived and it makes me happy that I can have some for dessert. Problem is that I always end up eating too much of it anyway. Like I can eat a whole container in 2-3 days.

I can't control myself, I rarely can't control portions.
Should I stop buying it or should I buy it anyway?
Should I have some kind of plan?

WHAT SHOULD I DO???!


Thanks for your opinion!

Replies

  • cmtigger
    cmtigger Posts: 1,450 Member
    Have you seen a therapist who specializes in eating disorders?
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    I could have written this myself. I know how you feel. For me, I had to stop buying it for a while. Now, I buy only small containers of the things that set me off.

    When I'm wanting something, I make myself wait a few days and make sure I really want it (not just think I want it). Then I have a small amount of what I'm wanting, after I've had a big salad/veggies and lots of water. Never while hungry!

    Hope this helps :)
  • midlifesally
    midlifesally Posts: 26 Member
    I can absolutely relate. I don't have 100% control yet, but here are some ideas:
    1. never get too hungry.
    2. go for opposites when you want something sweet - something sour like pickles
    3. read the book "Brain Over Binge"
    4. don't keep problem foods in the house. avoid them for a while until you feel you have some control. try fruit for a taste of something sweet
    5. think of how you will feel going to bed or waking up knowing you did not binge - it's a good feeling
    6. stay busy
    7. avoid routines that led to the binge (eg. I no longer sit in a certain chair because I associate it with overeating.)

    Good luck and know that you can do this.
  • RobynLB83
    RobynLB83 Posts: 626 Member
    I have seen the suggestion of only getting trigger foods in a restaraunt. I buy single servings from the store and find myself swinging by the 711 multiple times a day to buy single serve junk food. I like the restaraunt idea because it's somewhat more of a hassle, and you're going to have to really want it.
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    4. don't keep problem foods in the house. avoid them for a while until you feel you have some control. try fruit for a taste of something sweet

    This was helpful for me. It's not a problem now, but before I was tracking calories and aware of my TDEE, I'd eat any junk that was in the house. Kinda like RobynLB said, it can help if:
    a) stuff you have a problem with isn't in the house
    b) you make it a special event to go out to get the treat thing. Like you take a walk to the 7-Eleven for an ice cream sandwich or something. It's not regular utility food, so it shouldn't be in the house. Once you've hit your bodyfat goals you can keep that stuff around for carb backloading and willpower strengthening but for now? No.
  • sorbus33rowan
    sorbus33rowan Posts: 36 Member
    Maybe look into intuitive eating (just google it). For people who binge eat I think its better than calorie counting bc its not really restrictive so you dont feel deprived.
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    Sounds like you are in a vicious cycle of going from one extreme to the other, and it keeps driving you back and forth.

    Recommend you find a happy place.
  • KateTii
    KateTii Posts: 886 Member
    When I first started I found that many of my most favourite foods were just too high calorie to justify or that the portion I could fit in would leave me feeling sad and deprived. What worked for me was finding alternatives that "scratched the itch" but were lower calorie. Popcorn instead of chips, frozen fruit puree instead of ice-cream, liquorice instead of lollies & soda water with fruit instead of soft-drink.

    Now I prefer the "alternatives" to the "originals"!
  • TinyTexn59
    TinyTexn59 Posts: 96 Member
    Here is my two cents. Don't keep a trigger food in the house. If you have to have a trigger food you need to go out to buy it, you will have to get dressed, put on nice clothes, get in the car, drive to the store, buy it, come home and eat it in front of the other people there. That is the RULE! This is called a personal deterrent.

    Substitute frozen yogurt in the carton for frozen low fat greek yogurt, just pop ONE portion controlled container in the freezer. That is portion control.

    Set a date for two weeks from today and tell yourself if you reach X amount of pounds lost you can have one TINY slice of vanilla cake. Track your foods daily. If you lost the amount of pounds, and you still want the vanilla cake, go to a bakery and buy a SMALL slice of vanilla cake. Again, with getting dressed up, car, etc and come home and eat that piece of cake in front of the other people there. RULE! Enjoy it cause you are only getting one small slice and you have to go three weeks for the next one. Yes, add a week each time.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited September 2015
    I can so relate. I used to binge/overeat daily, on anything, as long as it was sweet, fat, salt. I hated myself for not being able to stop. I would crave constantly. I hated the taste of "healthy" food. What helped me, was learning more about what is indeed healthy and normal, deciding that nothing is off limits, but that some foods are easier to deal with than others, and some strategies to avoid finding myself in the middle of a binge.

    "If I don't buy it, I'm obsessed, unhappy, and I just end up eating tons of whole containers of ice cream anyway, but even more than I would ordinary."

    I wonder how you manage to do this. If it's not there, I can't eat it. I will eat a normal portion out of the house. Social control is crucial. When noone can see me, it's too easy to think that "this one doesn't matter".

    My diet consists of mainly whole foods, in a great variety, balanced to suit my taste and portioned to suit my needs. I have calorie counted for 18 months, into maintenance, but now I'm just going by hunger/satiety. I usually eat four meals a day. I can eat anything, but I plan for it. I cook everything I can, and buy what I need to make those meals.

    I've come to realise that taste is important for me, and that I like to eat quite a lot of fat. How it clicked when I learned that taste is there to guide us to foods that are good for us and how the food industry has abused this, and that diet foods just makes us overeat in search of more nutrients. My food choices and eating pattern has evolved to something more "traditional" and I'm really satisfied living like this.
  • Florida_Superstar
    Florida_Superstar Posts: 194 Member
    I used to have this problem too. I just can't have the trigger foods. They aren't in my house, and they aren't part of my diet. The only time it works is on a very rare occasion and I will eat it out of the house -- like at a restaurant in a single serving. Very rare because it could set me off and down the wrong path.

    Ultimately, it is just a choice you have to make. Give it any label or diagnosis, but no matter what you call it, the only way to stop is to make the CHOICE to stop. Also, don't get discouraged if you slip up--it's normal to have set backs. Just get back on track and start again.

    I was able to develop a diet that is not restrictive and is very filling, so I feel satisfied. I eat several times a day and I don't have the cravings for junk food anymore. I saw a Registered Dietitian specializing in eating disorders to help me develop a diet that would work for me. It is the best money I have ever spent. Good luck.
  • 2lose30
    2lose30 Posts: 3 Member
    Chips and beer were my problems. I have found that by 1) detoxing & 2) healthy substitutes, I don't have the cravings or binging I once had. a couple of suggestions I have found that are really good healthy substitutes: Sweet potato chips: Slice 1 sweet tater, i put the slices with a bit of coconut oil in a ziplock bag and shake; I then put it on cookie sheet, sprinkle with seasalt and bake about 15minutes at 400; really good and is already portion controlled. Ice cream substitute (this is really good - I have it for breakfast in the morning) 1/2-1 cup Frozen mango slices, some ice cubes, 1/2-1 cup water, squeeze of 1/2 lemon and some fresh mint; blend until smooth - awesome!
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    2. go for opposites when you want something sweet - something sour like pickles

    5. think of how you will feel going to bed or waking up knowing you did not binge - it's a good feeling

    Love your list! I've been reaching for ACV lately. I've always tried focusing on how good it'll feel NOT to binge. It really works!

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    r8ph wrote: »
    ...Now, I'm trying to find a balance and eat things I like so I don't feel so deprived anymore and can hold this lifestyle forever. The problem is that I just can't find any balance.

    The 2 things I can't control myself with is vanilla frozen yogurt and vanilla cake. Same thing also happen when I buy chips. I buy these so I don't feel deprived and just end binge eating for 6 months every night.

    I just don't know what to do anymore. If I don't buy it, I'm obsessed, unhappy, and I just end up eating tons of whole containers of ice cream anyway, but even more than I would ordinary.

    If I buy it, I don't feel deprived and it makes me happy that I can have some for dessert. Problem is that I always end up eating too much of it anyway. Like I can eat a whole container in 2-3 days.

    I used to have the same problem with pints of Ben & Jerry's S'Mores or Phish Food ice cream. Once I started eating it, it was finished all too quickly. Now I buy the mini-cups, which only come in flavors I don't like as much, and they are safe in my freezer for weeks on end. The mini cups will satisfy my desire for ice cream, and I can stop at one serving, rather than a whole pint.

    Yes the mini-cups cost more per pound, but they have so much less calories per serving, as due to the Completion Compulsion, my brain sees both 4 ounces and 16 ounces as one serving.

    I've also been eating a lot more fruit, which satisfies my sweet tooth for far less calories.

    I budget for something higher carb yet filling at the end of the day, which makes me less likely to go for sweets during the day.



  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    2lose30 wrote: »
    Chips and beer were my problems. I have found that by 1) detoxing & 2) healthy substitutes, I don't have the cravings or binging I once had. a couple of suggestions I have found that are really good healthy substitutes: Sweet potato chips: Slice 1 sweet tater, i put the slices with a bit of coconut oil in a ziplock bag and shake; I then put it on cookie sheet, sprinkle with seasalt and bake about 15minutes at 400; really good and is already portion controlled. Ice cream substitute (this is really good - I have it for breakfast in the morning) 1/2-1 cup Frozen mango slices, some ice cubes, 1/2-1 cup water, squeeze of 1/2 lemon and some fresh mint; blend until smooth - awesome!

    I baked chopped sweet potatoes with a little olive oil, salt, and chipotle powder Thursday - they were SO good! I'm going to try making some plantain chips today.

  • otrlynn
    otrlynn Posts: 273 Member
    I'm not normally a yogurt fan but Oikos Triple Zero Vanilla Greek Yogurt is really good. It has a smooth, creamy texture and just enough sweetness to make it feel like a treat. It comes in portion controlled containers. Perhaps it might satisfy your craving for frozen vanilla yogurt. At, 120 calories, it has 15g of protein, 0 added sugar, 0 artificial sweeteners, and 0 fat. The sweetener appears to be the stevia leaf extract. I have a container almost every morning for breakfast , with some type of fresh fruit mixed in. If you like it, portion control will be the key.
  • skeeblue8
    skeeblue8 Posts: 27 Member
    I can relate as well I lost about 50lbs I felt great. Then the holidays really didn't help gained it all back plus more. My mom has an eating disorder and finally lost ALL the weight she had barbaric surgery she looks great and is happy. My dad has little control with food. And I am no better. I am starting over!! My mom is a great support maybe to much for me.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    skeeblue8 wrote: »
    I can relate as well I lost about 50lbs I felt great. Then the holidays really didn't help gained it all back plus more. My mom has an eating disorder and finally lost ALL the weight she had barbaric surgery she looks great and is happy. My dad has little control with food. And I am no better. I am starting over!! My mom is a great support maybe to much for me.

    How spot on :s
  • pinkiemarie252
    pinkiemarie252 Posts: 222 Member
    I agree about trying intuitive eating. There's a concept in it about savoring food that is helpful to me when I'm having issues with sweets (although I sometimes eat excessively...it happens).
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Quit buying it and call a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. You may not have one, but they can help you, anyway.

    You are ALWAYS in control of what you eat. Don't forget that. It's important.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
    Well there are many approaches. Mine was to quit sweets. I also used to have no control over sweets. Now the way i do it is to only have them when other people offer them to me and some other low risk situations. Work out your own low risk situations and limit the food you binge on to those situations. It might take a while.

    That said, there is a lot to successful dieting and binge recovery. I've solved my problems. I've been in maintenance for 8 months and began my journey in january 2014. In all that time, I have broken my rules only once and that was quite recently. I didn't binge though.

    It's very psychological. You have to find deep commitment and work at it.

    You do'nt have to feel deprived. Eat lots of fruit. The sweetness of fruit should satisfy your need for sweetness. It satisfied me. I have to be careful with dried fruit but i eat some in small portions. If i binge on them its because ii've got stress or some other emotional crisis that needs resolving. I work at resolving it quickly. I get help.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    All things in moderation. Do NOT over restrict yourself, as it leads to over eating later.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited September 2015
    Well you have 3 options.

    1) not do anything, stay overweight, keep eating all the frozen yogurt and cake, and feeling horrible about yourself every time you do it.
    2) learn to eat them in moderation so you can still enjoy them without gaining the weight back. Feeling awesome because you can still enjoy things you love but keep a healthy weight too.
    3) decide never to have them anymore. EVER. Which clearly, as you have noticed, doesn't work, and makes you unhappy.

    So it's either 1 or 2. Which one would you prefer? Think about it.

    I'm not trying to be mean. I completely get where you're coming from, and I've had my share of binges. Heck I've gone to bed hungry more times than I can count because I had a little too much ice cream or chocolate or cookies at lunch.

    But the bottom line is... I LOVE that stuff. I don't want to give it up. And I hate feeling miserable when I eat it. I mean, really, do you even REALLY enjoy it that much when you feel so guilty about eating it? I know that I don't.

    So, a few tips...

    - buy single servings if possible
    - wait until you want some, but don't have a crazy craving for it yet.
    - put one serving in a bowl, then put the rest of the container away. Log your serving BEFORE you eat it. Turn off the TV and the computer, sit down with your bowl. Take a small bite. Make it last. Enjoy it. Take another bite. If you start thinking about the next serving you're going to have, make yourself stop and enjoy your bite. Think of it as your next serving. When it's the last bite, take your time, and tell yourself it's the last bite and you're going to really enjoy it.
    - if you feel like going to the kitchen to get more, log another serving. Look at the numbers. Do the math. Complete your diary if needed, so you'll see it tell you that you'll weigh 10 more pounds if you eat like this for 5 weeks. That might help.
    - if you get a second serving, do the same thing as the first one. You WILL notice at some point that it just doesn't taste as good anymore... tell yourself that - do you really want to finish it now, when it doesn't taste as good, or leave it for next time when it will taste awesome again?
    - for me, I tend to binge less if I always have the stuff in my house. When I started binging on chocolates every time I had some, I just bought a lot of it. Now I know it's here when I want it and it helps me (I can ask myself if I REALLY want some now, or wait until a day when I'm actually craving it).

    Truth is, a whole container of frozen yogurt in 2/3 days is really not such a huge deal and can probably fit in your calories. The cake sucks though. I love cake, and I almost never have it because of the crazy calories. I usually wait for a day when I'm not very hungry and have extra calories and go buy a cupcake or something (or those 3 packs of Madeleines from Starbucks might work too). But yeah, I haven't had cake in a while.

    In the end though, it's really about what you want more... the food or the weight.
  • Ironmaiden4life
    Ironmaiden4life Posts: 422 Member
    Great suggestions in this thread.

    As well as trying to moderate your physical behavior you may want to consider journaling, especially before and after an episode of bingeing. Journaling may help you uncover the emotions that are leading you to self sabatage.

    Accountability is also a great help. Find some way to make yourself accountable for your behavior, a mentor good friend or coach.

    You may also want to seek out support groups and as has been suggested self help books or a counselor.
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Do you eat enough fats? Getting traditional fats from avocados, olive oil, coconut milk, salmon, beef, full fat yogurt, etc. can really help with satiety and cut down on bingeing and craving.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
    My suggestion is to change how you talk to yourself. Life is full of second chances. Because you felt like a failure you quit. Why even bother to go to the gym if I can't eat right. Next time you eat more than your allotted calories, don't call yourself a failure and throw all your hard work away. I do this by thinking of the life style changes, I am making as practice. Just like learning a to play musical instrument. Our performance is way out in the future, today we are just practicing. That means if we mess up, we can start over, no big deal it is just practice. If we need to work on one bit we practice it over and over again, until we can get it right. There is no need to give up on playing the whole instrument just because you ran across a hard part in a difficult piece of music. Keep practicing! No need to give up on a life style change just because a cake or a carton of ice cream is difficult for you. Play the parts you do well everyday, and practice little by little the difficult pieces. A therapist can help just like music lessons or voice coaches. Even the masters had teachers, coaches and a life time of practicing.
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
    I had similar problems with sweets. I had a difficul ttime stopping. It was almost like what I imagine a mild addiction would feel like so I treated it like one and quit sugars as much as I possibly could. I also had prediabetes and autoimmune issues (for which excess carbs are inflammatory) so I had extra incentive to drop sugars.

    I started a low carb, high fat diet a few months back. It's basically the same as the Induction Phase of the Atkins diet. I eat mostly fats and proteins (meat, seafood, cheese and cream, nuts, coconut, avocado, butter and oils) with only some types of carbs (veggies and berries). I no longer eat foods that come from grains (corn, rice, flour based products), starchy veggies beyond a small amount (potatoes, carrots, beets, etc), and I avoid added sugars as much as possible.

    Following a very LCHF diet eliminated my sweet tooth in about a week, and it reduced my overall appetite by a large amount. I forget to eat now, which is astonishing to me because a few months back I was getting shakes, dizzy, and headaches if I did not eat every 2-3 hours. Now I can easily go 6-9 hours before I remember to eat! (This isn't rue for everyone, but it appears to be true of most long term LCHF dieters around here.) All without seeing any (unnecessary in my case) therapist.

    If interested, look up low carb high fat diets or nutritional ketosis. There is also a group (Low Carber Daily) that is dedicated to that WOE.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    All without seeing any (unnecessary in my case) therapist.
    Many people who don't see therapists, see them as unnecessary. We are not always the best judges of ourselves. If you describe your situation, a good general practitioner, is going to tell you when they are unnecessary. IMHO therapists are wonderful to talk to, and good ones are not going to continue to see you if you do not need the treatment.
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    All without seeing any (unnecessary in my case) therapist.
    Many people who don't see therapists, see them as unnecessary. We are not always the best judges of ourselves. If you describe your situation, a good general practitioner, is going to tell you when they are unnecessary. IMHO therapists are wonderful to talk to, and good ones are not going to continue to see you if you do not need the treatment.

    I suppose that could be true. In my case though, I am sure a therapist was not needed to deal with my intense carb cravings because a dietary change eliminated it within weeks. It's gone. I'd still like to have an Aero bar, a large Coke, or a big bowl of ice cream, but the control issues are totally gone so I can skip it with satisfaction. Eating those "foods" and having a return of those symptoms isn't worth it now that I'm on the other side of it.

    I think diet can often help with the same issues that therapists sometimes see, especially if there is a health issue. Definitely not all, but some.