What do you do when your spouse is not supportive?

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Replies

  • dawnw30
    dawnw30 Posts: 270
    I feel your pain. My hubby is a jerk. He is constantly making fun of me when I work out and making negative comments about my "diet". He even told me I couldn't do it so I should just quit. You know what? I have taken all that crap and stored it in my mind. Whenever I am doing a workout and it is kicking my butt and I feel like quitting I pull out all of his negative comments and they make me mad - and it gives me the extra oomph I need to finish! I don't need his permission to do this and I am not forcing anything on him or my kids...this is for me. So I am going to keep going no matter what he says or does. You go girl and you just store or ignore the negative!!! Good luck on your journey!! Feel free to add me!! The only support I get is from my MFP friends and it makes a huge difference to have someone be positive about what you're doing!! :flowerforyou:
  • dia77
    dia77 Posts: 410 Member
    In the main, my husband is a pretty good guy. The problem I always seem to face when I try to lose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle is the snide comments from him and the general 'I don't know why you're bothering' attitude. It's very disheartening and hurtful and now that I'm at day five here at MFP it has started up again. He's noticed me making the usual little changes and his comment this morning was "So, you're back to counting out 35 mini wheats again?".

    I think it stems from the fact that he is also obese but not willing AT ALL to put any effort into making the 'crazy-*kitten*' changes that can be necessary to losing weight. I think he wants me to stay fat with him...

    I really want to make this work this time but how do you stay positive and motivated when you have your family dragging you backwards?

    Just feeling really discouraged and in need of a little advice and a cheering section.

    ignore him and do your thing. My husband is the same . I cook separate food for him because he want's the fat and the meat:) As a result he looks like he is pregnant .
    I tried to explain way I want to lose weight but he had the same reaction like your husband. Well , I lose weight and if he doesn't want to be supportive ,I really don't care . I stick with my thing regardless all the comments from him and my friends. I focus on what I want and I choose to ignore the fact that he is not supportive . I got it . He doesn't understand this. That doesn't stop me though..
    And you know what? By the end of this summer I am going to look spectacular!
  • dia77
    dia77 Posts: 410 Member
    In the main, my husband is a pretty good guy. The problem I always seem to face when I try to lose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle is the snide comments from him and the general 'I don't know why you're bothering' attitude. It's very disheartening and hurtful and now that I'm at day five here at MFP it has started up again. He's noticed me making the usual little changes and his comment this morning was "So, you're back to counting out 35 mini wheats again?".

    I think it stems from the fact that he is also obese but not willing AT ALL to put any effort into making the 'crazy-*kitten*' changes that can be necessary to losing weight. I think he wants me to stay fat with him...

    I really want to make this work this time but how do you stay positive and motivated when you have your family dragging you backwards?

    Just feeling really discouraged and in need of a little advice and a cheering section.

    ignore him and do your thing. My husband is the same . I cook separate food for him because he want's the fat and the meat:) As a result he looks like he is pregnant .
    I tried to explain way I want to lose weight but he had the same reaction like your husband. Well , I lose weight and if he doesn't want to be supportive ,I really don't care . I stick with my thing regardless all the comments from him and my friends. I focus on what I want and I choose to ignore the fact that he is not supportive . I got it . He doesn't understand this. That doesn't stop me though..
    And you know what? By the end of this summer I am going to look spectacular!
    ignore him and do your thing. My husband is the same . I cook separate food for him because he want's the fat and the meat:) As a result he looks like he is pregnant .
    I tried to explain way I want to lose weight but he had the same reaction like your husband. Well , I lose weight and if he doesn't want to be supportive ,I really don't care . I stick with my thing regardless all the comments from him and my friends. I focus on what I want and I choose to ignore the fact that he is not supportive . I got it . He doesn't understand this. That doesn't stop me though..
    And you know what? By the end of this summer I am going to look spectacular!
  • skinnymeinaz
    skinnymeinaz Posts: 384 Member
    It is hard but you have to remember that this is for you and your health (or other reasons). I found having a support system is very helpful and my biggest support comes from my sisters who are over 2,000 miles away and my mfp friends! So use us as a support system and get on here anytime you need us!!!! !:flowerforyou:
  • Maureen_R
    Maureen_R Posts: 7
    first let me say congrats for taking the first step into making life changes. you came to a great place for support.

    I've been on mfp since march 1st and have lost 29 pounds with great support from people on this site. I must say I'm luck as my husband is very supportive as I've never dieted before in my life. Gaining 100 plus pounds since we got married has been very hard on me. however when I said i was making a change he was all for supporting me.

    Keep up the hard work and you can do it. Feel free to add me
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
    I honestly cant believe there are so many people out there who partners do not support them.
    All i can say is do what is best for you. The letter is a GREAT idea.

    Hugs xxxx
  • brityn
    brityn Posts: 443 Member
    Its a tricky one - but just keep reminding yourself who you're doing this for. Its not him! Its YOU!

    Use this site as your support .

    If he says something sarcastic or "*****y" just smile - waggle your Butt in front of him and say "but think of what this would look like with some pounds off - wouldn't you like to get your hands on that??!!" or something. Don't let him see that his comments are getting to you.

    Come on here and vent!!!!


    This is great advice that works!! I recently hit one of my mini weight loss goals and pulled out some lingerie that I haven't worn in a while. My husband is now on the band wagon with me and is down 18 lbs in 5 weeks :) I just keep telling him itll only get better
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