Someone close destroying my confidence, the push I needed th

God, don't you just hate those off handed comments that aren't meant to hurt but still do? I'm sorry but hey you've made progress right? The way I look at it is you've taken steps in the right direction to improving your health and your body image, and for that you should be proud.

Hey! At least they said you were handsome! Definitely use this as motivation. As much as that comment bloody hurt. Although I don't think i'd be interested in them if I did lose a bit of chunk and then all of a sudden they DID find me more attractive. Can't be bothered with people who only look skin deep. Save your handsomeness AND fit body for someone who deserves it

I very well understand how you feel having experienced it myself. Since it comes from the mouth of someone you love dearly, it hurts even more. I have stopped thinking about what others think. Instead I concentrate on myself. I don't live for them. I know it's tough... But, I remind myself that I am losing weight so that I start looking good, feeling healthy & more confident... Be strong & tough in your heart. When they say that just smile & tell them that you are in the process of losing weight. But DON'T ever let their comment get to you.

Felt totally broken last night from a comment from someone who I care a lot about, about my weight, sort of a I really like you and you are really handsome, but......
Oh well guess it was enough to knock me into action this morning. Just feel like all the confidence I've been trying to build up has gone!

If this is a girl you like, it sounds like you do. Girls make decisions and say thing from an emotional perspective. Girls change emotions 1000 times per day. I studied a lot of female psychology, and I know women are going to hate me for saying this. But just ignore it. You can't give a woman an upper hand in this situation. Not talking about being mean or anything, I am talking about letting her control how you feel. ONce they sense they can control your emotions, you're out of the game.

It's very very simple, women want men, who are men, not men who act like women and get emotional. It's very much a status issue. The higher status you have, the more likely a woman will be in to you. Think about the animal kindom, which one gets the girl... the one who is in control. If the female controls him, he's out of the game.

You can rarely take what women say in situations like this at face value. Women are constantly testing men to see how vunerable he is, and the sad thing, women don't even know it. Most women will deny ALL THIS. You can't ask a woman for advice about women, they are women, most women don't even know what they want, they say they want one thing, and they really don't. They say "i want a nice and sweet and caring guy" you seem like that... does she want you off of that? answer is obvious.

I am not saying, be rude or disrespectful or any of that. The most important thing for a woman is respect, you have to respect her.

I know most woman will deny most of what I have said. Because they're not aware of it.

This is a difficult situation to access. I have also heard comments like that and I agree with those who say if that is what you think about me now, why would your opinion change after I lose weight. Then again it could just have been an awkward comment that she would like to be able to take back. Talk to her about it and if she persists in her views, find someone who respects you as a human being not just someone who will look good on her arm walking into a club.

I think it was Martin Luther King Jr. who once said "It's not important what people call you, it is what you answer to"'

me, I would tell her the truth, it was a backhanded compliment. I use to do it all the time without thinking about it. My husband would point it out to me and I would aplogize, but it doesn't change the fact that I hurt his feelings. Tell her you are working on what you can for yourself and NOT for her and if she can't be supportive then she's not worth your time. There are some areas that should be off limits and even I don't go there. If she really cares for YOU and not just how you look then she needs to learn to be senstive about some areas, I mean she wouldn't want you making comments to her like that. Golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Oh I dunno, maybe you should listen to him. He sounds exactly what woment want ;-)

Not every woman, but every woman I wanted... i pretty much had a good positive relationship with them. Trying to think of the women who I have been attracted to, but it lead to nothing... I guess it would be the woman i never approached. But honestly, Once I get to know them, I am really not interested anymore.

Tell her she could use a little toning up also and then ask her what time she's like to hit the gym...lol. If she would like you slimmer , make her aprt of the work out process so she can see how hard you are working. my hubby runs with me sometimes and understands how hard my runs can be.

She is special, and no she didnt give me an ultimatum, she said how great we are that she loves me, have amazing chemistry, and thinks I'm gorgeous, BUT doesnt know how much she fancies me in that way cos of body. Im glad she said how she felt, really I am. She said she hadn't said anything cos a few months ago I was really into getting back into shape, but since I hit a low and stopped I guess she thought enough is enough, gotta tell him. And I don't know if its the biggest priority, she says she can 'often' look past that. But its a big priority still. I don't blame her, physical attractiveness is a huge deal.

Maybe it was just the push you needed?

also I suggest, keep a list of little things you can do for yourself to feel better. I have a couple of outfits I wear that always make me feel better...I'm sure there are tons of things people do for themselves to feel better......

I agree yellowpear, but it's hard not to let their comment 'get to you' when their opinion seems to be the only one you care about. ANyway, point taken on chin, using it for more self motivation. Job done I hope!

Yeah.. that's right take it as a self-motivation.
I know it's hard. I had struggled with it. It will make you so depressed. But then I thought why should I allow it to effect me. They say that because they have a problem with treating their loved one. Not because we have a problem. So take it as a 'challenge' & don't ever let it stop you from reaching your goal.
You can also tell her to give you all the push you require that will help you in the process. Tell her that soon you will eventually reach the goal weight and she is going to be proud of you. But till then ask her to give you all the support & to avoid all the negative stuff. If that doesn't work, then don't be bothered about it.
Take care & wish you all the luck in the world.