How to diet when your SO is not???

I eat what I eat and she eats what she eats. I cook and eat the portions I want. She eats the portions she wants.

My SO is the one who encouraged me to lose weight. He has been talking about "dieting" for sometime now but has been insisting we do something drastic like paleo or eat noting but salad and chicken, which I know I would fail at because I need variety. I basically told him if he wants to prepare / cook, go ahead, but otherwise we'll eat what I prepare since I do all the cooking. He's been pretty good about being supportive, but often eggs me on to eat unhealthy things - like when I worked out specifically so I could have a deep fried snickers at the fair and he was all lets have ice cream and this giant elephant ear too.

ogmilner wrote: »

It doesn't bother me that he's eating them, I just find myself overly tempted to join him, and have occasionally broke my meal plan and felt guilty for sharing a pizza when it's too late to cook or having a triple chocolate cookie.

I understand this. I caved and bought a pizza for lunch, ate two slices and brought the rest home to eat gradually over the weekend, and instead he ate 5 slices after we had a good dinner while talking about how delicious it was I needed to order from them more often. It was delicious. Thanks for reminding me. I'd appreciate it if you stopped eating it directly if front of me where I can smell it. I wound up having one as well, after I had told myself I wouldn't.

It's all about will power. It'll get easier as it goes along. At least I hope so!

You have to make the decision to stick to your guns... but there's no reason why you can't have a piece of pizza or a cookie too.

My husband is obese and hasn't done much to change his diet at all in the 2.5 years I've been on MFP (ok he tried for a few months, lost 10 pounds, gained it all back). He snacks on ice cream, cheese, crackers, cookies, chocolate, basically anything, at night when he watches TV. But I don't have to eat that stuff, and he doesn't have to eat my snacks. We don't share snacks anyway because I log everything I eat, so I get my own.

I make the same dinner for everyone (most nights), but that includes anything from meatloaf to burgers to pizza sometimes. I ask him what he wants, and if he actually wants something, I'll make it, I'll just make a lighter version of it, and I'll have a smaller portion. I just weigh my portion and make sure it fits in my calories and try to have something delicious at every meal so I'm less tempted to eat 'junk' after. I very rarely have snacks after dinner and no, we don't sit in different rooms. He eats right next to me while we watch TV.

I usually don't exercise when he's home, but I'd just hop on the exercise bike while we watch TV and he snacks... not a problem at all.

Bottom line is that you have to make the choice for yourself to lose weight and be healthier. I've lost 80 pounds, and I have kids too and a lot of snacks and treats and 'junk' food in the house at all times. You just got to want it hard enough.

I live with a DH and two lean, very active teenage boys who consume any food that gets in their path. If I ate whenever anyone else in this house was eating I'd very quickly be so huge I'd be unable to move. So I just don't do it. Period. I know the biology/science of it -- they're all men and they can eat much more than I can. That's just the way it is. So I've had to learn to be ok with them eating when I don't. When I cook we all eat the same things, I just eat a lot less than they do. They snack a LOT and I don't. Such is life.

It doesn't sound like you have a particular reason you are limiting yourself to particular kinds of foods. Find foods that you both enjoy; you should eat at a calorie deficit, he should eat at a calorie surplus. If you have trouble feeling full on smaller portions, try adding some low calorie, high volume foods to your diet. If he is having problems getting enough calories in, he should add some low volume, high calorie snacks.

Problem solved.

I still eat the same stuff I used to before deciding to lose weight, including pizza, chips, chocolate, etc. So there's no difference on what we eat. The difference now is that my portions are smaller, while his stay at whatever he wants to eat. Also, I've learned to change my recipes a little, by using less oil when I cook... or sometimes baking the food instead of frying. I use less salt, if he feels like it's not salty enough, hey there's the salt shaker and he can add it to his plate. Small tweaks here and there. As long as I can fit all these foods into my daily calories, I'm losing weight.

I plan for pizza. I make sure I've exercised that day. He gets 5 pieces and I get 3, which I eat slowly. We have a salad with the pizza.

We share meals, but he takes more carbs and I take more non-starchy veggies. I have smaller portions of dessert as well, and we don't have dessert every night. TV snacks are small - like one Ghiradelli square, eaten slowly and mindfully.

We don't live together yet - I see him around 4 times per week. I exercise beforehand so I can give him my undivided attention.

My OH doesn't need to lose weight. We eat the same meal in the evening (which I cook) but he has a much bigger portion than me. He will also have things like chocolate, ice cream, cheese and biscuits and hot chocolate from dinner to bedtime, whereas I have a piece of fruit, a black coffee with a splash of skimmed milk & sometimes 15g of dark chocolate for a treat.

There are always cakes, biscuits and crisps (chips) in the cupboard because he eats them as well as my 'healthy' homemade dinners. It doesn't worry me that there is 'junk' staring me in the face. It was my decision to lose weight so the onus is firmly on me to get on with it.

He's out all day so I like spending time together in the evenings. I have all day to exercise (if I want to lol).

I find the SMELL coming from a burger van when I'm out shopping far more of a temptation than 'junk' at home.

DeguelloTex wrote: »

I eat what I eat and she eats what she eats. I cook and eat the portions I want. She eats the portions she wants.

Same for me and my husband. I do my thing and he does his. He knows how to lose weight and wants to, but doesn't have "my willpower". It's not willpower; it's habit.

When we share a meal, either at home or take-out, we split some things like desserts and appetizers. It does suck to only be able to eat a slice of pizza because one will fit in my goal but I would be satiated with 3.

zyxst wrote: »

DeguelloTex wrote: »

I eat what I eat and she eats what she eats. I cook and eat the portions I want. She eats the portions she wants.

Same for me and my husband. I do my thing and he does his. He knows how to lose weight and wants to, but doesn't have "my willpower". It's not willpower; it's habit.

When we share a meal, either at home or take-out, we split some things like desserts and appetizers. It does suck to only be able to eat a slice of pizza because one will fit in my goal but I would be satiated with 3.

This is my home as well.

We all eat the same things, but I eat less of them. I eat what fits into my goals. We make one dinner, I just measure my portion and log my food. When we watch television together we eat different things because we generally enjoy different snacks.