New Start today

I have been on a carbohydrate binge. Shopped at Euro-Deli on Tuesday, the 15th, and brought home two packages of carb treats ... one was a package of 6 chocolatey biscuits from Poland ... very small bundle and tasted good so I ate them all. Also picked up a package of Ukranian bread circles ... kind of like pretzels but not. Addictive. Needless to say, I ate pretty much nothing but them plus a couple glasses of milk.

Also went to Wegman's that evening because I needed cat food and ended up spending over 100-hundred dollars. Among my purchases was a half pound package of 3 cold cuts ... Sahlens boiled ham, Wegman's roast turkey, and Wegman's hard salami. That's cause the sub shop was already closed when I got to it and I wanted that kind of supper. Picked up some rolls ...4 of them ... and ate cold cuts for the next few days.

Today, I had to get gas, and more cat food and wanted to get out early ... ended up not being until closer to noon ... but I went to McDonalds for breakfast before hitting Top's for the food stuffs. Ended up with 2 breakfast sandwiches, then added a Wendy's chili and frosty to the food by having it for lunch. I had also stopped at Euro-Deli again ... I'd picked up some gherkins and 3 apples when I was there on Tuesday and wanted to know what those apples were. Bought 3 big ones (to make apple cake) and 3 medium ones to eat out of hand. But then, I also picked up a little package of chocolate covered dried cherries and a 500 gram package of Ukranian Gingerbread cookies ... that was my food today, as well as 2 regular sized Hershey chocolate with almonds. .... like I said, I'm carb crazy ... not only today, but the entire week.

I don't understand anything about me.

So, today, after getting some chores out of the way early in the morning, I am taking time to read through my community threads and make some updates. I was pleasantly suprised that a couple of people read my post and commented back to me. Thank you so much for that.

While I have been using MFP for about 3 years, and have been an active thread participant for the last year (under a now defunct ID) I never started a thread myself. To do so on Sept 1st was an act of commitment to myself by being public about my weight issues. It's like the first time, a long time ago, when I publicly described myself as obese ... I was 'coming out of the closet' so to speak ... to myself at least because anyone looking at me could see right off that I was overweight!. It was about then that I stopped hiding out when I was eating food I knew would look bad for someone my size to be eating ... like a BigMac and fries, or a donut, or a candy bar, or an ice cream cone. I used to eat those foods hidden away from stranger eyes ... like if no one saw me eat this stuff than I didn't have to own up to having done so. Posting a thread was a public admission that I cannot do this thing on my own. We don't live our lives in a vacuum, so to speak; and 'no man is an island' is another quote that comes to mind. Just knowing that I am not alone in my desire for a healthier me helps me realize that I'm not the first and will not be the last woman who has this struggle ... that it is a condition many others are struggling with, just like me. That there are a many who have succeeded, and a few who have done so spectacularly. And, if they an do it, then why not me too?

As for the ones who shared with me ... I would like to share back to you.

@berngres ... I do wish you luck. A new baby in the family is a good motivator to make a healthful change in your life ... for the sake of the baby and for your desire to fully share in this child's growth. ...


@JanolaBarbara ... Ah, to be your age and living in the fair Pacific northwest! How great that is! I've never been there but have always wanted to ... I image it as a warmer and balmier Cape Cod ...

Reading through the comments, it occurred to me that there is a first step, second step rule of engagement in this battle to change, or actually, to do anything with intent. With weight loss, awareness is step 1 ... that's where the logging of food comes in ... to let you see exactly what kind of food and how much of it one is consuming. Also to help clarify what our taste buds are leading us to consume on a habitual basis. Unfortunately, logging food does not actually prevent a person from binge-eating, or over-eating, or selecting less nutritious or high-calorie food over better choices. That particular action takes something else, something more, something that sometimes is elusive. It's that something that some of us have better control over than some other people, or even than ourselves under a different set of circumstances. Part of that 'logging your food' exercise should include what went on peripherally to the actual consumption of the food. Like ... how was I feeling, what happened around the time that I did or didn't eat 'correctly', what was my mood? To log all that to get a better understanding of ones own pattern is a time-consuming task. Too much to do on a regular basis, still however, a good activity to participate on occasion.

But, I digress ... what I want to make note of is that I have a timeline. My timeline has an target date exactly 18 months from now, when I will reach my 72nd birthday. That's the long timeline. It's too far away from this moment in time. The task is too huge to fathom at this moment in time. I cannot think of it as one big 'thing'. I need to break it down to little bits and pieces. My first bit ends on October 3rd. My next step ends on October 31st. None of the goals have a specific number in mind. What they do have in common is a list of activities that must be completed by those milestones. They are simple activities but are cumulative in nature and, should I follow through, I will see a completely different 'world' than I see right this minute.

I'll keep reporting in on this thread as time goes on. I want to be able to report successes with those timelines.
Follow-through

October 31 ... this morning I can celebrate the success of having trimmed off the 5 pound goal I set on Oct 1. My goal for the next 2 months is to get back to what I weighed on 12/31/14 .. another 7 pounds down.

And reading back to my Sept 24 post, I see that I have reached a deadline for 'My next step' ... which was actually about my decluttering project. As of this writing, I am about half-way to completion. The completion of the rest is set for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

This is December 1, 2015 ... and it is my monthly check-in day.

I've been tossing about the idea of changing my focus from calories and poundage to the tape measure. It's probably possible to focus on both. However, I find my prediliction is to put more emphasis on the pounds and they do fluctuate up and down a narrow range quite a bit from day to day; which is discouraging.

Taking a look back in my records I found measurements taken at a gym and I can see that today I am 14 pounds and 6 torso inches less than I was at that time. So I have decided to see how soon I can duplicate those reductions.

The plan for this involves putting the focus on body movement; because at age 70 I find myself much more restive and less mobile than is healthy for me.