Coming Out...About Your Weight

GillianLF
GillianLF Posts: 410 Member
in Motivation and Support
Have you come out about what you weigh? I've only started to this week and I'm getting very mixed reactions.

I had dinner with my mother last night and thought I'd share the good news. That in the 45 days of joining this site I have lost 8 pounds (hopefully more...I'm due a weigh in). My mother asked what I weigh and I told her. She said "oh that's so bad, how did you let your weight get up that high?"

I'm with my partner over 2 years and I just told him this week what I weigh. He said I don't look it but it felt so good to tell him. He is now super supportive and is getting on board my CICO method and is being supportive.

I shared my weight with a friend in work. She looked me up and down and said "you're very fit so it must be muscle".

I just find the mixed reactions from people about the number on the scales very interesting and quite mortifying to be honest. However while there is an element of fat shame it also has me feel more accountable.
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Replies

  • ARGriffy
    ARGriffy Posts: 1,002 Member
    i have the opposite. i don't like to tell people as they think its a perfectly acceptable weight and don't understand why im still loosing /improving my health. in fact it gets discouraged! Well done for coming out the weight closet :)
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
    I still won't tell my SO how much I weigh... but I did open up to him last night about how heavy I have been in the past. After I said it, I actually felt a little regretful; it was weird.
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
    My husband, my mother, and my MFP friends know my weight, but that's all. I can't even bring myself to tell my best friend/workout parter, which is crazy because I tell her EVERYTHING.

    My husband and mother both find it hard to believe I weigh what I do. I'm 5'10, so it distributes well :)
  • GillianLF
    GillianLF Posts: 410 Member
    I really think its awful how ashamed people feel about weight.

    I think people will look at me differently, they look at me and see normal, when they learn my weight they see fat.

    I'm only just starting to come out about it and its mad, there are some people I'd hate knowing what the scales say...and really it shouldn't matter to anyone other than myself.
  • MrsSgtBerger
    MrsSgtBerger Posts: 46 Member
    I would have never told anyone how much I weighed starting out. But I am not ashamed to say I weigh 162 now. I started at over 300. People can judge all they want but most have never been in the same boat. Eff em. Proud of you. It's a hard thing to do.
  • GillianLF
    GillianLF Posts: 410 Member
    @MrsSgtBerger what fantastic success! Well done.
  • MrsSgtBerger
    MrsSgtBerger Posts: 46 Member
    Promises if you stick with it you will get there too! We're here for support!
  • MrsSgtBerger
    MrsSgtBerger Posts: 46 Member
    Oh, and thank you.
  • shondaj70
    shondaj70 Posts: 30 Member
    It's been a touchy subject for me! The only person who knows my weight at the moment are you guys (on my profile) and the weight loss captain at work (hr employee so she can't tell anyone). I am 5'11" so it's spread out and I don't look like I weigh over 300 lbs. I should hit my mini goal and be in the 200's by Christmas!
  • onlyadrizzle
    onlyadrizzle Posts: 60 Member
    My boyfriend knows how much I weigh but he's pretty much the only one besides my doctor. My mom sometimes knows and my brother if I share it with him but I haven't in a while. My mom tells me I don't need to lose anymore weight so I don't really tell her anymore. But none of my friends know because it's awkward to talk about lol
  • longshadows17
    longshadows17 Posts: 32 Member
    Haha my bf is a jockey, he has to weigh in in front of everyone, then it's printed in the form, and if there's an overweight, it's announced over the PA system. So no shame here. We weigh the same anyway. Same height too, 5'10.
  • shrcpr
    shrcpr Posts: 885 Member
    I don't like being the weight I am (which is why I'm here) but don't mind if people know it. Kind of like my age. The number I tell people makes zero difference in how I actually look so I figure what's the point in hiding it. (Although, my mom did tell me if I was going to lie about my age I should say I'm older so people will think how young I look for my age. :wink: )
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    I don't feel compelled to tell people about my weight. I am surprised how many people will just ask me though. Then I tell them.
  • alfiedn
    alfiedn Posts: 425 Member
    I'm not shy about my weight. It's pretty normal, though. My husband and I share those things pretty openly and without judgement. We support each other losing some pounds and getting healthier, but neither of us is going nuts over it.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    When people find out about my weight loss and I tell them the numbers of what I weigh now and have lost, they are dumb founded/disbelieving that I weighed 320#. It's like, yeah man, I was over 300#.
  • rugratz2015
    rugratz2015 Posts: 593 Member
    Only my husband, my daughter and one friend, only because she is also a friend on here, knows my weight, and of course you lovely people. I haven't told anyone else, and the only reason I let people here see it is because ye don't know me, and it's unlikely you'll recognise me in the street, especially as mfp is worldwide ha ha ha.

    Seriously though, I am embarrassed by how fat I allowed myself to get, especially because I had lost a lot of weight in 2010/11 and then put it all back, plus more. At the moment it is what I see when I'm on the scales, but if I lost weight and still didn't 'fit in' the correct bmi slot I wouldn't care, as long as I was happy about how I looked.
  • Azuriaz
    Azuriaz Posts: 785 Member
    It's tiresome to explain. Oh the scale says blah blah but you have to add around 10 pounds to that because I'm in ketosis...and then I have to explain that. Nah. I'm going to start telling anyone who asks that I don't know even if I do.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I have told everyone how much I weigh from the very beginning. I was incredibly open about it and was always willing to share how much I had loss.

    Then I reached my goal weight...and that is when I regretted ever being so open about it. I had 1 co-worker in particular make comments, often asking me about my weight. She pulled the "You are starting to get too thin" comments and would follow up by asking how much my weight was. That is the last time I shared my weight with my co-workers. I sure did not feel comfortable saying "I want to lose another 10lbs" to her (so I didnt). If it does come up though, I will often lie and say I am still at 150lbs (I am actually at 145lbs at this point, coming off really slowly).

    I do however have 1 person in my life (my mom) who I trust 100% will say something if I start to look gaunt and "too thin"...but she would also want me to be as in-shape/healthy as possible which is why I trust her opinion.

    So in conclusion, I probably should have kept the numbers to myself and had a bit more of a firm boundary on this topic with my co-workers.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    My husband knows what I weigh. Actually, I should say that I weigh myself with him in the room (and he weighs himself when I'm in the room) and will say the number out loud but if I were to ask him "How much do I weigh?" I'm not sure that he would be able to say the exact number.

    My sister is the only person who has asked me what I weigh. I've told her but I don't go around volunteering that info to others. I'm not ashamed of what I weigh, it's just not a common conversation topic for me. I'm trying to think and I can't remember anybody asking me, in real life, how much weight I've lost either.
  • Russandol
    Russandol Posts: 71 Member
    I'm incredibly ashamed of how much I weigh, and the last time I told anyone how much I weigh was five years ago. And that was a GP who needed the number for her files. (I was 8kg/18lb lighter then! Right on the cusp between normal and overweight as I'm 5'8"-ish.) I probably won't tell anyone until I hit the sixes (ie 69 kg (152lb) and lower), not even if they ask. It's deeply silly, I know, but I'm very conscious of being heavy and I worry people will see me as being even fatter if I tell them how much I actually weigh. :(
  • hekla90
    hekla90 Posts: 595 Member
    We can see how much you weigh don't know why the specific number catches people up. Heck if people give me grief for my weight I'll go stand on a scale in front of them to shut them up.
  • GillianLF
    GillianLF Posts: 410 Member
    @Russandol I totally get that, people see me as fatter when they know what I weigh.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    Interesting topic. I've been thinking about this lately because I've had a few comments in the past few days about my weight loss. I just said "I'm down 20 lbs since the 4th of July" but I didn't mention the weight numbers.

    But I'm trying to be mindful of and then let go of a lot of food and weight - related head baggage. I don't know yet whether saying "The Number" out loud will unpack some baggage or reinforce baggage surrounding it.

    To give it a try and see how it feels, I'm going to at least tell you, the anonymous MFP crowd: I am currently at 203, down from 224. Think I'm aiming for 185. We'll see when I get there.
  • GillianLF
    GillianLF Posts: 410 Member
    rosebarnalice wrote: »
    To give it a try and see how it feels, I'm going to at least tell you, the anonymous MFP crowd: I am currently at 203, down from 224. Think I'm aiming for 185. We'll see when I get there.

    How did that feel? Well done on coming out and on the loss. :)

  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    No shame in what I weigh (currently 196) but I keep it to myself because when people know it and that I am trying to lose weight, they get the impression that it's an opening to insert their opinion on how I'm going about doing things (and some try to sell me stuff). My boyfriend knows but that's because he's the only one who isn't like that.
  • Kaken21
    Kaken21 Posts: 78 Member
    People used to make comments about my weight loss all the time. To be fair my family, friends, and co-workers saw me drop about 90 pounds so it seems only natural to me that they would ask how much I'd lost etc. I don't think they ever asked how much I weighed at the time though. Since I've moved to a new town no one here knew me as that 255 pound girl so people don't ask or make comments. This morning I stepped on the scale and it said 158. I have no problem telling my family, friends and people on mfp what I weigh. I'm 5'10 and my weight is being stubborn and it's still hanging on to my lower abdomen and thighs. One day at a time, right?
  • LaceyBirds
    LaceyBirds Posts: 451 Member
    Interesting posts. I started at 230 and have lost 51 pounds, with 44 or so to go. I haven't told anybody what I weighed/weigh - only my doctor's office knows. I would say the DMV too, but I lied on my license. :)

    I have told three people that I'm losing weight, and one of them I only told once, when I had lost twenty pounds. The other two are relatives I see a couple of times a week. The last time I told them was when I had lost 35 pounds. This weekend I will likely be seeing one of their daughters, who I haven't seen since last Christmas - I've lost 35 pounds since then. I don't know if she will notice, but I plan to wear my new, smaller pants and shirts when I see her and see if she does. But I am now starting to hesitate if I will actually say how much I have lost. I too am horribly embarrassed about how much I have weighed, and, in fact, I am certainly not proud of weighing "only" 179 pounds. Yes, people know I was obese, but putting a number of well over 200 pounds to that weight, especially for a woman, just makes something concrete that had previously been vague, and I think more people would judge you even more negatively for that what they would see as an astronomical number than by what you look like. Just my opinion.

    So, I don't know now if I'm going to share numbers any longer. I think I may just say something like "I've lost a lot, and still have a way to go" and leave it at that. If they ask for numbers, then, well, I will handle it maturely by screaming, bursting into tears and running from the room. Or something. :blush:
  • BewitchedBelinda99
    BewitchedBelinda99 Posts: 253 Member
    Really ashamed of my weight. My daughter knows and my mum knows. My daughter is really supportive but my mum is terrible! Don't know if it means anything but my mum is overweight and my youngest daughter isn't! None of my children are though. I would maybe tell a partner if I had one but I did once have a boyfriend who was horrible about my weight and I was 50-60lbs lighter then. He called me ugly too though. I'm 44 and I wish I could love myself more.
  • bibimazoon
    bibimazoon Posts: 50 Member
    Maybe it's an age thing? I know when I was younger I would never have told anyone my weight. But now at 54, I'm pretty open about it to anyone and everyone :)
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    At my heaviest the only people who knew what I weighed was my doctor, the nurses in the doctors office and my husband. As I lost weight though, I became more open about it. For me though, I was pretty much ashamed of what I had done to myself. I grew up thin and didn't start putting on the pounds until after I married. When it got to the point that I had a BMI of 44, well I didn't even want to admit or accept that myself. It was the only time frame in my life that what I weighed bothered me and the only time that I wasn't open with people about it.

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