I Give Up
poohtaytay
Posts: 4 Member
I have no energy due to stress & depression. Some days are good & when they are I'm doing good with exercising & eating right but when days are not good, I fall off. It never fails. So I give up. Its stressful trying to keep up with this lifestyle.
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Replies
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If you're getting stressed you're probably doing too much at once and need to ease into it more slowly. What is your weekly weight loss goal?0
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1lb.0
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Perhaps you've bitten off more than you can chew, if you will?
If you're trying to eat less, exercise more AND totally change your eating habits, maybe picking one to focus on for 2-3 weeks would be helpful.
You could try eating what you usually do and logging as accurately as possible. Once you're in that routine, add in food changes OR exercise, not necessarily both.
Stick with that change for 2-3 weeks, then add in the last item, whatever it ends up being.
Also, on those "bad" days? Go for a walk. Even if you can't get to the gym or do your usual workout, tell yourself you have to go out for a walk. It can be a 5 minute one, but get out there. It will help.
~Lyssa0 -
Some days will be harder than others just remember each day you meet your personal goal is a victory. I have slipped up and giving in to cravings and missed gym days as well. I try to compensate the next day by adding an extra 5 or 10 minutes to my work out or just cut back a little more on the days it is easier to resist temptation. A visit to your doctor might not be amiss either to rule out blood sugar issues which can cause low energy and mild feelings of depression. Just keep trying and hang in there0
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Sounds like you need more help than can be offered here. A healthy lifestyle shouldn't be so hard that a "bad day" sends it into meltdown. If you don't have some help already, I would seek it out.
Otherwise, maybe look at doing maintenance for your bad days. It will give you extra calories to eat which should help when you're stressed/depressed. By eating at maintenance for those days your progress will just stall instead of going backwards and then when you DO have more good days, you can keep going.0 -
If you are so stressed and depressed, see your doctor. You could be deficient in some nutrients and vitamins. I had a vitamin B and D deficiency and when I was able to increase that, my energy level also increased. Make weekly goals on your diet and exercise. Totally changing all at once is so hard. 1 week might be to eat a healthy breakfast every day, take your vitamins with omega 3 added and to take a 15 minute walk 3 times a week. After a few weeks, add a fatty fish like salmon to your diet once a week and increase the walk to 20 minutes. You can make subtle changes like open faced sandwiches using 1 slice of bread. Brown rice instead of bread. Increasing your water intake.0
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If you are so stressed and depressed, see your doctor. You could be deficient in some nutrients and vitamins. I had a vitamin B and D deficiency and when I was able to increase that, my energy level also increased. Make weekly goals on your diet and exercise. Totally changing all at once is so hard. 1 week might be to eat a healthy breakfast every day, take your vitamins with omega 3 added and to take a 15 minute walk 3 times a week. After a few weeks, add a fatty fish like salmon to your diet once a week and increase the walk to 20 minutes. You can make subtle changes like open faced sandwiches using 1 slice of bread. Brown rice instead of bread. Increasing your water intake.
But don't do those subtle changes all at once. One at a time.
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When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
While I want to agree with this, I cannot. I don't have personal experience with depression, but I have seen what it can do to people.
@Poohtaytay - See a doctor. You might need to get in control of your depression. Weight loss is important, but mental health is more so. While weight loss might help with depression and self image if you have a borderline case, you might need professional assistance. Get some help. If you are just having one or two bad days, then don't worry about it and move on. If you are always depressed, get some help.0 -
Don't give up. 1 pound less is good...it will get better. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes we stress because we struggle - try to just do your best and not dwell to much on it..I have times like that and it makes it hard to focus when we are consumed when we struggle. Remember, you are making life changes, so 1 down is better than 1 up!0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
I agree with all except this one. Clinical depression (if that's what op is experiencing) drags people down to the point where it can be difficult to function. But under ordinary circumstances, yes.
All I was going to add is that if you can manage some working out, try to force yourself. It can do wonders to boost ones mood. I've experienced clinical depression and all doctors/therapists have encouraged me to get some kind of exercise.
Be good to yourself, and never give up.
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OP you sound like you have similar experiences I have at times. Depression is difficult enough on its own. Add in the desire to lose weight and exercise can potentially complicate our ability to deal with just the depression.
Personally I have so far been able to add the weight loss desire to my life. I don't eat as well balanced as I could and I don't exercise. I am trying to tackle one thing at a time. So far 12 weeks in I am doing far better than I imagined.
When you get in one of those situations where you are fighting the weight of depression, don't add to it. Take care of the depression first. Yeah it may cause a day or two or three that you may not follow your weight loss plan very well. But I have found with depression it is difficult for me to deal with things beyond that depression event at that time. Come back to what you were planning as soon as you can.
Now if your depression is causing you major problems in your simple daily life then a doctor visit is warranted. You don't have to deal with it alone. There is help to get you through this.
When you have a period of good feeling prepare as best you can for a potential time in the future when you are having problems.
I have dealt with atypical depression for more than 30 years. I still do and I know how difficult it can be day to day. You are not alone in what you are experiencing. You can overcome this and get on track. Maybe not today or next week, but please don't say you are giving up.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
I agree with all except this one. Clinical depression (if that's what op is experiencing) drags people down to the point where it can be difficult to function. But under ordinary circumstances, yes.
All I was going to add is that if you can manage some working out, try to force yourself. It can do wonders to boost ones mood. I've experienced clinical depression and all doctors/therapists have encouraged me to get some kind of exercise.
Be good to yourself, and never give up.
I agree. Since the OP already stated she was depressed, I assumed it was diagnosed by a physician and was being treated. I was referring to the weight loss portion of her statement and I stand by mine. If she wants it bad enough, she'll get it. If that means getting on medication, so that she can function in order to lose weight, then that's what shell do.0 -
I am on medication. Depression never goes away but there is treatment & I am utilizing every option there is. My dr is involved with my care & i happen to be vitamin D def as well which doesnt help. I agree with the comments of deal with the depression first. That's what I meant by giving up. That I need to focus on one thing @ a time & that being my mental state. I have a FAM of 7. I need to be my best self for them so weight loss has to take a back seat for right now0
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When you make weight loss a priority, it will happen. Like stated above, you really gotta want this in order for it to work. Otherwise, its a waste of time.
But its commendable that you have already sought help for your depression issues and are currently on medicine. Hopefully this will help soon for you so you can then get back to focusing on your weight.
Just know that when your ready, you can do this. I was once in your shoes op. I remember being depressed, hopeless, no money, no job, no car, over weight, and baby to care for. I was finally sick of being depressed all the time. I was tired of being miserable. I was tired of being broke. I knew I wanted more.I knew I wanted to lose the weight.
So I did it. I worked day and night sorting my problems and issues out. Now , I weigh 135lbs, take no more depression meds, have two jobs, decent car, great credit, and am happy. So just know you can get past all this and move forward . it is possible and you do deserve to be happy0 -
thorsmom01 wrote: »When you make weight loss a priority, it will happen. Like stated above, you really gotta want this in order for it to work. Otherwise, its a waste of time.
But its commendable that you have already sought help for your depression issues and are currently on medicine. Hopefully this will help soon for you so you can then get back to focusing on your weight.
Just know that when your ready, you can do this. I was once in your shoes op. I remember being depressed, hopeless, no money, no job, no car, over weight, and baby to care for. I was finally sick of being depressed all the time. I was tired of being miserable. I was tired of being broke. I knew I wanted more.I knew I wanted to lose the weight.
So I did it. I worked day and night sorting my problems and issues out. Now , I weigh 135lbs, take no more depression meds, have two jobs, decent car, great credit, and am happy. So just know you can get past all this and move forward . it is possible and you do deserve to be happy
^ So true.
The hopelessness and scary "why bother" feelings of depression make that bold part above so easy to forget. It's great you're under a doctor's care, that is an important step. It must be daunting taking care of such a large family, and you're right—they need you, but remember they will also need a well, healthy and happy you, too. Hang in there. ♥
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
Yeah, if you really want it so bad, you'll find a way you just gotta be patient
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
Exactly!0 -
I think you're making the smart choice. So many people go through the motions of dieting when they really don't want to do it. Then they get at themselves for not losing weight. It's just a crazy cycle and should be avoided.
If you aren't motivated to lose weight, give up. Someday, when you are motivated, you'll do it. 0 -
I think you should just cut your goal down to half a pound a week. That weight loss will be slow but it will add up, and you won't have to change many eating habits. The calories you'll cut are a snack or two at best, not even a meal.
Don't get intimidated by "eating clean" or going sugar free or whatever trend is going on around you. Some people just want to make weight loss more difficult than it has to be. Just count calories and keep eating what you enjoy. I've lost 48 pounds without changing the things I eat, just the amount.0 -
^^ yup! With only about 20 lbs to lose and struggling with 1 lb per week, half lb may be more appropriate0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.
EXACTLY!0 -
Never quit. Take a break if you need, cut back on your goal if necessary...but don't quit. You'll be needing your body for a very long time, don't give up on it!! xo0
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I've been doing this for over 5 months now. If I gave up every time I experienced a slight set-back, I'd be back to where I started + a good 30 lbs or so. If you want this badly enough and believe in yourself enough, you'll be unstoppable. I hope you dig deep and find that motivation and determination. We've all got it in us. It may be that you just aren't quite ready yet.0
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A fam of 7. Does that mean five children? Then you are a very busy lady. I see two cognitive distortions holding you back. The first is depression and the second perhaps is all-or-nothing thinking.
You must be organized and be on top of your health to keep ahead of your daily responsibilities. I can promise you that your children want you healthy and strong so you can be there for them through all their life adventures.
I suggest switching to modest goals around habit change rather than weight loss. Make healthier choices at meals. Include physical activity perhaps with your children. Model a healthy lifestyle for them and demonstrate that everyone deserves to take care of themselves, even moms.0 -
I have a friend who's a lot like you with depression and was put on medication. Between work, an issue that happened at work, school, the fact she couldn't find a man that wanted more than just her body. It really did depress her. She would tell me about the foods she would binge eat just cause she was so depressed. Other times she would just collapse at work, falling to the floor, and start crying.
So from the outside looking in, I know what you're going through.
My best opinion would be to stop and just find your own thing. Find some kind of stretching or yoga that will help ease your mind.
Just put your weight off to the side first. Jumping into exercise isn't gonna help at all if you're mentally not ready for it.
Yoga to isn't all the crazy moves you see on TV and in magazines. Some poses are just lying on your bed, pressing your knees to your chest and rocking from side to side.
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poohtaytay wrote: »I am on medication. Depression never goes away but there is treatment & I am utilizing every option there is. My dr is involved with my care & i happen to be vitamin D def as well which doesnt help. I agree with the comments of deal with the depression first. That's what I meant by giving up. That I need to focus on one thing @ a time & that being my mental state. I have a FAM of 7. I need to be my best self for them so weight loss has to take a back seat for right now
Depression certainly complicates the equation a bit. Low motivation is one of the hardest parts.
One thing I find curious is why would you post that you are giving up? If that's what you wanted to do, why not just stop? I'm not suggesting that you should stop, in fact quite the opposite. I suspect you posted because you want support and encouragement to continue.
As others have said, take some smaller steps. My personal experience is that when I am working out, I start choosing more nutritionally appropriate foods. I will still fit in a few treats, but I prefer salads with chicken, or wraps with veg and cheese. My mind seems to think that my body needs foods which will support the workouts. This may not be the case for you.
Start with small changes. Increase your veggie intake this week, or include daily walks for 5-10 minutes. Whichever works for you and is supported by your current life. If you make the changes with healthy in mind (being your best self), rather than focusing on weight loss, you may find the weight loss occurs with less effort than you expected.
Best wishes for you, whatever you choose to do. :flowerforyou:
ETA: I find that with making the exercise and eating changes, the depression symptoms are reduced considerably.0 -
I've been logging on here everyday for over a month now and I can assure you that this ISN'T going to be an easy ride. I can't count how many times I've said "I give up," in fact, I said it before I clicked on this post, which is why I'm on it, because I feel the same way you do and realized it was nice knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way. But then I have to sit and remember the reason(s) why I'm doing this and why I'm on here, and it comes back to me and that's what makes me try to get through another day of doing this. I'm not expecting any miracles so I'm probably just wasting my time but at least I know I'm trying to do something about it because the truth is, I don't know what the result will be in another month from now, I can't see the future. I end up using all my daily calories by lunchtime if I have breakfast and lunch and those snacks which leaves nothing left for dinner. Or I'm just constantly snacking and I'm still left hungry throughout the day and realize I can't eat any more because I've reached my daily calories and that really frustrates me, so I just go stuff my face anyway if I feel like I need to which I know isn't going to help. I don't have a food scale so measuring my food is like trying to figure out how to cure every disease in the universe. I find it all incredibly overwhelming. Then when I'm eating something that was something I didn't get out of a box, or a jar, or a bag that doesn't have a label for calories, like eating from a restaurant, I feel like I can't log that meal and that also makes me upset. Plus my blood sugars are constantly going all over the place and I have no idea how to manage my calories throughout the day when I have to eat something for my low blood sugar and can't figure out if I should add/log those to my journal or not for my daily calories, or just ignore them since it's something my body needs. This entire process can just blow your mind and make you want to kick and scream and cry and give up, but you just have to know that in the end that you at least gave it your best if giving up is what you really want. I know I WANT to give up, but I feel like that's NOT an option. I'm sick of all the negativity (from others) that comes with being at my weight and I just feel like I need to do something to try and change that. And that's why I keep putting in the effort to count my calories the best I can, and log in here everyday, and even go through the boards and read messages from people who are struggling like me, and seeing those who have struggled and found success and still may be struggling but found happiness to where they got with all their hard work... That's what keeps me going through this massive mess and hoping that one day it will change into my success story too. I've gone through so much in my life and I'm constantly feeling down and alone and I never feel motivated to do anything because sleeping, eating, and watching TV and avoiding everyone is all I feel like I can do with my life, especially because I'm lacking energy and depend on enegy drinks when I'm desperate enough for one, but I know going through my experiences of being overweight caused enough of an impact on me to want to change that and to tell myself everyday to NOT give up because there's a reason I'm doing this. I feel like staying focused on losing my weight has helped me grow a bit and finally realize that I don't want to give up on my life so easily. I felt like now that I've done the impossible (started losing weight) I can now start setting other goals in my life and try to accomplish those too. I haven't decided if I should owe that to this site or everyone in my life and everyone I've ever encountered that's always brought me down and made me feel miserable enough to make me want to make a change. Maybe all these years of depression and other negative emotions I had that turned into a positive outcome will be worth it in the end. I don't want my family commenting about my weight anymore, and hearing it from my nieces was my biggest breaking point. Who knows? Maybe I'll succeed and it'll end up shocking them as much as it will me. Just find your reason for what caused you to come to this site and let that be the reason that keeps you here and keeps you going everyday to continue your journey to success.0
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