I Give Up

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2

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  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
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    I think you should just cut your goal down to half a pound a week. That weight loss will be slow but it will add up, and you won't have to change many eating habits. The calories you'll cut are a snack or two at best, not even a meal.

    Don't get intimidated by "eating clean" or going sugar free or whatever trend is going on around you. Some people just want to make weight loss more difficult than it has to be. Just count calories and keep eating what you enjoy. I've lost 48 pounds without changing the things I eat, just the amount.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    ^^ yup! With only about 20 lbs to lose and struggling with 1 lb per week, half lb may be more appropriate
  • misterdale67
    misterdale67 Posts: 171 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    When you want this badly enough, nothing will stop you.

    EXACTLY!
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Never quit. Take a break if you need, cut back on your goal if necessary...but don't quit. You'll be needing your body for a very long time, don't give up on it!! xo
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    I've been doing this for over 5 months now. If I gave up every time I experienced a slight set-back, I'd be back to where I started + a good 30 lbs or so. If you want this badly enough and believe in yourself enough, you'll be unstoppable. I hope you dig deep and find that motivation and determination. We've all got it in us. It may be that you just aren't quite ready yet.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    A fam of 7. Does that mean five children? Then you are a very busy lady. I see two cognitive distortions holding you back. The first is depression and the second perhaps is all-or-nothing thinking.

    You must be organized and be on top of your health to keep ahead of your daily responsibilities. I can promise you that your children want you healthy and strong so you can be there for them through all their life adventures.

    I suggest switching to modest goals around habit change rather than weight loss. Make healthier choices at meals. Include physical activity perhaps with your children. Model a healthy lifestyle for them and demonstrate that everyone deserves to take care of themselves, even moms.
  • Blackdawn_70631
    Blackdawn_70631 Posts: 283 Member
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    I have a friend who's a lot like you with depression and was put on medication. Between work, an issue that happened at work, school, the fact she couldn't find a man that wanted more than just her body. It really did depress her. She would tell me about the foods she would binge eat just cause she was so depressed. Other times she would just collapse at work, falling to the floor, and start crying.
    So from the outside looking in, I know what you're going through.
    My best opinion would be to stop and just find your own thing. Find some kind of stretching or yoga that will help ease your mind.
    Just put your weight off to the side first. Jumping into exercise isn't gonna help at all if you're mentally not ready for it.
    Yoga to isn't all the crazy moves you see on TV and in magazines. Some poses are just lying on your bed, pressing your knees to your chest and rocking from side to side.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    edited September 2015
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    poohtaytay wrote: »
    I am on medication. Depression never goes away but there is treatment & I am utilizing every option there is. My dr is involved with my care & i happen to be vitamin D def as well which doesnt help. I agree with the comments of deal with the depression first. That's what I meant by giving up. That I need to focus on one thing @ a time & that being my mental state. I have a FAM of 7. I need to be my best self for them so weight loss has to take a back seat for right now

    Depression certainly complicates the equation a bit. Low motivation is one of the hardest parts.

    One thing I find curious is why would you post that you are giving up? If that's what you wanted to do, why not just stop? I'm not suggesting that you should stop, in fact quite the opposite. I suspect you posted because you want support and encouragement to continue.

    As others have said, take some smaller steps. My personal experience is that when I am working out, I start choosing more nutritionally appropriate foods. I will still fit in a few treats, but I prefer salads with chicken, or wraps with veg and cheese. My mind seems to think that my body needs foods which will support the workouts. This may not be the case for you.

    Start with small changes. Increase your veggie intake this week, or include daily walks for 5-10 minutes. Whichever works for you and is supported by your current life. If you make the changes with healthy in mind (being your best self), rather than focusing on weight loss, you may find the weight loss occurs with less effort than you expected.

    Best wishes for you, whatever you choose to do. :flowerforyou:

    ETA: I find that with making the exercise and eating changes, the depression symptoms are reduced considerably.
  • eleanorella1989
    eleanorella1989 Posts: 51 Member
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    I've been logging on here everyday for over a month now and I can assure you that this ISN'T going to be an easy ride. I can't count how many times I've said "I give up," in fact, I said it before I clicked on this post, which is why I'm on it, because I feel the same way you do and realized it was nice knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way. But then I have to sit and remember the reason(s) why I'm doing this and why I'm on here, and it comes back to me and that's what makes me try to get through another day of doing this. I'm not expecting any miracles so I'm probably just wasting my time but at least I know I'm trying to do something about it because the truth is, I don't know what the result will be in another month from now, I can't see the future. I end up using all my daily calories by lunchtime if I have breakfast and lunch and those snacks which leaves nothing left for dinner. Or I'm just constantly snacking and I'm still left hungry throughout the day and realize I can't eat any more because I've reached my daily calories and that really frustrates me, so I just go stuff my face anyway if I feel like I need to which I know isn't going to help. I don't have a food scale so measuring my food is like trying to figure out how to cure every disease in the universe. I find it all incredibly overwhelming. Then when I'm eating something that was something I didn't get out of a box, or a jar, or a bag that doesn't have a label for calories, like eating from a restaurant, I feel like I can't log that meal and that also makes me upset. Plus my blood sugars are constantly going all over the place and I have no idea how to manage my calories throughout the day when I have to eat something for my low blood sugar and can't figure out if I should add/log those to my journal or not for my daily calories, or just ignore them since it's something my body needs. This entire process can just blow your mind and make you want to kick and scream and cry and give up, but you just have to know that in the end that you at least gave it your best if giving up is what you really want. I know I WANT to give up, but I feel like that's NOT an option. I'm sick of all the negativity (from others) that comes with being at my weight and I just feel like I need to do something to try and change that. And that's why I keep putting in the effort to count my calories the best I can, and log in here everyday, and even go through the boards and read messages from people who are struggling like me, and seeing those who have struggled and found success and still may be struggling but found happiness to where they got with all their hard work... That's what keeps me going through this massive mess and hoping that one day it will change into my success story too. I've gone through so much in my life and I'm constantly feeling down and alone and I never feel motivated to do anything because sleeping, eating, and watching TV and avoiding everyone is all I feel like I can do with my life, especially because I'm lacking energy and depend on enegy drinks when I'm desperate enough for one, but I know going through my experiences of being overweight caused enough of an impact on me to want to change that and to tell myself everyday to NOT give up because there's a reason I'm doing this. I feel like staying focused on losing my weight has helped me grow a bit and finally realize that I don't want to give up on my life so easily. I felt like now that I've done the impossible (started losing weight) I can now start setting other goals in my life and try to accomplish those too. I haven't decided if I should owe that to this site or everyone in my life and everyone I've ever encountered that's always brought me down and made me feel miserable enough to make me want to make a change. Maybe all these years of depression and other negative emotions I had that turned into a positive outcome will be worth it in the end. I don't want my family commenting about my weight anymore, and hearing it from my nieces was my biggest breaking point. Who knows? Maybe I'll succeed and it'll end up shocking them as much as it will me. Just find your reason for what caused you to come to this site and let that be the reason that keeps you here and keeps you going everyday to continue your journey to success.
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
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    Snap out of it and exercise harder and more often. It relieves stress and depression.
  • dhimaan
    dhimaan Posts: 774 Member
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    On very mad days I try my best to keep mind busy. I read complex and stimulating articles to challenge my brain. That way I am not continuously having negative thoughts. It's a diversionary tactic and it has worked for me. Spending time at gym also takes your mind of the negative thoughts. It doesn't work all the time but most of the time and that is good enough.
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
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    bcalvanese wrote: »
    Snap out of it and exercise harder and more often. It relieves stress and depression.

    What a harsh comment.

    Clinical depression is not something you can "Snap out of", it is a recognised medical disorder and it requires medical intervention and treatment.

    The attitude of of snapping yourself out of depression belongs to the dark ages....in a time where Mental health and the functioning of the brain was even more poorly understood than it is now.

    OP - you sound as though you are doing what is right for you at this particular time.

    I wish you all the best.
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
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    poohtaytay wrote: »
    I am on medication. Depression never goes away but there is treatment & I am utilizing every option there is. My dr is involved with my care & i happen to be vitamin D def as well which doesnt help. I agree with the comments of deal with the depression first. That's what I meant by giving up. That I need to focus on one thing @ a time & that being my mental state. I have a FAM of 7. I need to be my best self for them so weight loss has to take a back seat for right now

    The emotional issues are critical to get a handle on. The meds take a while to kick in. Once they take the edge off it allows one to get at the emotional issues with the counselor. For those of us who are medicating emotional issues with food we have to deal with those issues before we can successfully keep weight off. There is a book addressing just this called Lose It For Life by Steve Artterburn. The it is secondarily the weight. It is first the attachment to food for emotional reasons. Once we deal with the"it " then we can deal with the weight in a much less emotional way. That's what I had to do. Only after dealing with emotional issues over several years could I get to the place to lose weight. Even then I started just getting everything logged on a maintenance level. That helped me to learn to start controlling my eating. Then I began to set lower weekly loss goals. Started at. 5 pounds per week. Then I went to 1 then 1.5 per week. After several months of logging I started walking a bit. I've increased that over time to longer distances and longer times. I figure I took years to get fat so it will take several years to lose all 200-250 pounds. I'm 100 pounds down after 20 months.
  • randomsue
    randomsue Posts: 179 Member
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    I'm not sure how many people on this thread has given up but until the day they lay you into the ground, you have a chance to make a change. There's always going to be those that will put you down (big or small) but those you have to block and surround yourselves with people that will encourage you. Look to a church, the YMCA, community groups, etc. The Y offers scholarships and deep discounts, you just have to ask. Getting healthy isn't as easy as stuffing your face but to be honest, don't bring it into your home. Junk food is cheap but healthier food is cheaper. A bag of potatoes can be the same price as a bag of Doritos but you can make several meals out of the potatoes. Get up in the morning and get dressed. You alreafy know where that's going to lead. If you don't have a job, volunteer once a week somewhere. I have been offered jobs doing that. It makes you feel good and retirement homes, shelters, hospitals will appreciate the help. It will occupy you time and your resume will look alot better at the same time.

    But, most of all, seek medical help or share with your doctor how what you are on isn't working. They can help with medication or programs that they have access to.
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
    edited September 2015
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    bcalvanese wrote: »
    Snap out of it and exercise harder and more often. It relieves stress and depression.

    That's an ignorant comment. I'm glad it's that easy for you. It's not that easy for those in the grip of depression.
    And "just get over it" isn't at all helpful.
  • RetroPolkaDot
    RetroPolkaDot Posts: 83 Member
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    Depression can cause low energy levels. It can become a vicious cycle that feeds off itself.
    If you are currently on medication it could be that your current medication is not the correct one for you.

    Perhaps you need to make smaller changes and be proud of the changes you've managed to make rather or not they lead to weight loss. Every change can make bigger ripples. Choosing a healthier option at breakfast might seem tiny but in 6 months it adds up. Going for a 10 minutes walk outside might seem tiny but you can build on 10 minutes.

    Good luck to you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    poohtaytay wrote: »
    I am on medication. Depression never goes away but there is treatment & I am utilizing every option there is. My dr is involved with my care & i happen to be vitamin D def as well which doesnt help. I agree with the comments of deal with the depression first. That's what I meant by giving up. That I need to focus on one thing @ a time & that being my mental state. I have a FAM of 7. I need to be my best self for them so weight loss has to take a back seat for right now

    What are you taking for depression? I like Wellbutrin because it is a little speedy, which helps me with exercise motivation.

    Taking Source Naturals, Vitamin D-3, 1,000 IU got my D levels back up to where they belong.
  • andres0691
    andres0691 Posts: 26 Member
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    It just takes one good day, then one good week, then one good month to be on track in a weight loss journey. You just have to realize life is going by. No one is going to do the hard work for you, otherwise everybody would be in good shape. Just by taking time to read these type of comments you have already proved that you are serious about this subject, a lot of people do not even bother to try! There is no shortcut I am afraid unless you do surgery. Having said that, I want to share with you what helped me. I would set a daily workout goal SO SMALL and stupid that there was no way I could mess it up. I would do HIIT (high intensity interval training, insanity, P90X etc) for 5 MINUTES, and then I was good for the day. Eventually I started wanting to do more, and started doing 10-15-20-30 minutes. Until TODAY I still do the same thing and I am applying the same concept of small-daily-requirements to never give failure a chance. Some days I will just workout for 5-10 minutes and stop, just to show I have confidence in this system. I suggest you try it out and please tell me how it goes for you. Remember, you are not alone my friend! Now off to put on some hard (yet rewarding) work! PD: I suggest you find a workout buddy, I did not have one starting out but it is so helpful! Now regarding the DIET/meal plan, I cannot help you there, I still do not like eating vegetables for the most part, but I am still losing weight! in the end it is all about caloric deficits (and yes, I know I should eat more vegetables, I am working on that ha ha). Cheers.

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