How to not get jealous of other people's success?

brdnw wrote: »

it says you have 94lbs to lose, i lost 90lbs in 2 years (with 60 of it coming in 6 months). It's not that long of a process and it's much more rewarding to earn your new body and develop healthy habits that you'll carry with you forever.

plus, you should only be competing with yourself, who cares about anyone else...and i'm sure that surgery was also quite expensive...so there's that too.

Well said . I had a friend who had the gastric bypass and lost over 150 lb in a year. I used to go a watch soccer with him , and over the week's he looked more and more haggard. He told me he found it really hard. Gradually he got lighter and started running and playing team sports himself and recovered better after that. I was and still am obese I was tempted by his rapid weight loss. However I made the
decision to go for the natural route as I feel that It sets you up better for later life by re-educating you for the long term. Since then I have lost about 66lb and have got maybe 85lb more to go although I think I'm going to go for a body recomposition style from now on to build strength and flexibility too.

yesimpson wrote: »

2Poufs wrote: »

@tiffanymariearpaio What they did depends on the surgery. A Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) is basically turning the stomach into a tube by cutting away the excess. This is great for those who need to lose less than 100lbs and have no other health issues. A Roux-n-Y bypass (RNY) is where the top of the stomach is cut away and made into a small pouch. A section of bowel is diverted (bypassed) to cause calorie (and vitamin) malabsorption. This is the procedure for those with more than 100lbs to lose or those with additional health concerns.

In weight loss mode, the person eats less and loses weight. In maintenance mode, they eat a little more and stay at their goal weight. Just like everyone else. The mechanisms of the weight loss mode are a little different for surgery patients, but basically... eat less and lose weight. They simply have a smaller stomach, so eating less is a little easier. VSG patients don't have malabsorption issues like RNY patients, so it's considered a little less radical.


You do the best you that you can. In the end, you'll be a healthier you and probably more so than her.

Your blog is really interesting. I've only read the 2014 entries but you have a lovely way of writing, and the level of detail is really informative @2Poufs

Thanks. I hope that the blog relays information in an easy-to-understand manner. I hope people can relate to what's going on with me and learn something too. Plus, I get to talk about poop, because there's not enough TMI online!

To the OP, your thoughts/feelings are honest, good for you for owning it enough to talk about it and forget the snarks with their sanctimonious finger wagging.

It's easy to feel a twinge of envy, the reason the diet industry is a billion dollar a year is because we've all tried to find the "easy" way to lose weight. When someone comes along with what, on the surface, appears to be an easier solution who wouldn't share your sentiment inwardly?

However, the important thing to remember is that a leaner/thinner/healthier body is a reflection of a persons lifestyle; it is the primary motivator of those of us who are in the process of losing weight but it is only the outward sign of our actions and choices. For those of us who have made choices in the past that led to an outward reflection we didn't/don't want we have a learning curve, a big one, regarding eating and movement and balance and the choices we need to change. This learning curve is no easy feat; when you've spent most of your life bouncing on and off fad diets or yo-yo dieting or maybe never really trying that hard at all you have very few tools in your arsenal when you really commit to change.
-Portion control.
-Input vs. output.
-Calories derived from fats or from carbs?
-Is the light/diet/low-fat version of this really better?
-If I go to Pizza Hut with the family for dinner, wtf am I going to eat for breakfast and lunch and not feel hungry all day?
-Do I really need to drink that much water? Every day?
-I've completely blown my decent eating habits today and I'm running on three hours of sleep, guess there really is something to that whole get-a-good-nights-sleep thing.
-I can skip my evening walk one day, I'm sure it wont hurt just once...

That is a very, and I mean VERY, small list of all the things we learn along the way. Things we need to learn, for success in loss as well as maintenance. We learn to seek out a pita or soup or salad for lunch when we were running late and couldn't pack one for work because a Big Mac just isn't worth it. We learn to drink water until reaching for it becomes so ingrained in us that other beverages almost seem like special occasions. We learn that movement is key, thank you plateaus, because if you don't jump on the exercise band-wagon at the start, watching the weight loss slow down to a snails pace changes your mind about that. In turn it makes you feel better and it motivates you even more to stay on track with food choices or grants you the ability to enjoy something extra. We rejoice when we see reward for our effort (I'm referring more to NSV, but numbers work too) and lament when we falter and see the results of that instead.

Now, that may all seem very rudimentary, but before you say, "well, duh!" understand that long, arduous, pain-in-the-*kitten* journey is the crux behind your leaner/thinner/healthier body. Without it... well, that's why so many are pointing out about your friend likely gaining it back. If you never learn to grab that pita or soup or salad because you'll only eat half that Big Mac anyway what tools do you have for maintenance? You're not just going to eat less and less forever. Simply being unable to eat a large quantity of food in one sitting will net you results initially sure, but our species learns through trail and error; blessed is he/she who can be told how to make healthier choices for life to ensure continued weight loss/maintenance success without learning it for themselves. And anyone with that ability wouldn't have a weight problem to begin with, would they?

Don't revel in this, that's not the point, it wouldn't be much of a great moral story if the tortoise snickered at the hare's loss in the end; just keep in mind that your friend has been denied the ability to learn all the lessons you are learning now through cause and effect.
While that may seem like little consequence, would you rather take a year to get there and be confident, feeling good, and in total control when you arrive? Or would you rather get there right now and make questionable choices, not be very sure in what you are doing, and possibly start taking extreme measures (such as skipping eating altogether) out of fear and ignorance that the weight will come back if you don't?
Because only one of those paths has a real chance of being attainable for the rest of a persons life.
The other one is a band-aid on a broken leg.