I am at a stand still!!!!
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vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I provided 9 points to check and a request for more information. I happen to copy/paste that post often in these threads and I'm always looking for ways to improve it. Could you let me know which parts of it come across as "tough and unsupportive" or "hassle" for future use? Thanks.0 -
melissarobson1988 wrote: »I need to lose 20 more pounds I just started and have only lost 5, I walk 10.000 steps every day but can't seem to make it to the gym because one I don't know what to do and two I am embarrassed. I eat less than 1200 calories a day. And it's all vegetables and a bit of protine. I just don't know what to do.
You have been given some great general pointers. The reason people are asking for you to open your diary is that there are some very common logging errors that people see. As for the bit about having lost 5lbs, and just starting, perhaps your expectations are too high. How long is "just started" and why would you not consider 5 lbs lost to be progress?
Sounds like you are expecting too much too soon. If all you are eating is veggies and a bit of protein, do you think that is enough to meet the nutritional needs of your body? People here have a great amount of knowledge and can guide you, but they need more information than what you have provided.0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I provided 9 points to check and a request for more information. I happen to copy/paste that post often in these threads and I'm always looking for ways to improve it. Could you let me know which parts of it come across as "tough and unsupportive" or "hassle" for future use? Thanks.
Can I just say I didn't intentionally mean everyone, I actually thought your post was great & read through myself so no offence meant to anyone just certain comments maid me think hey this isn't very supportive0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
Those are things we said. What, specifically, would you have said in the more polite English way that wouldn't have sounded like we were hassling her. Pretend you're the first person to reply. What would you say?0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
Lost in translation
I'm English but I know they don't intend to be mean. I suppose people trying to help someone could be all namby pamby eg oh poor you, that's not fair boo hoo....but people need FACTS to be able to help someone, not vague statements.
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vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
No one called her a liar, that is your interpretation. There are many ways in which logging can be inaccurate (thus the reason people have asked to see her diary), that has nothing to do with the OP lying. It has everything to do with not understanding how the site works. I'm not even touching the "English way is more polite" comment.
FYI, the OP did come back.0 -
She hasn't opened her diary. Useful information will depend on what she thinks she's eating.vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
More info is needed.
Saying she's wrong isn't saying she's a liar. You just made up that part.
Examples wouldn't be as useful as the diary and are incomplete.
This forum is full of people who claim they're eating X calories when they're eating something more. Often a lot more. This ground has been covered many times, and the questions you see are the ones that get at the actual issues involved. There's no point going about it in the way you suggest when it's just going to end up with these questions being asked.
Do you think your claim that people aren't supportive is supportive?
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I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.0
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tincanonastring wrote: »vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
Those are things we said. What, specifically, would you have said in the more polite English way? That wouldn't have sounded like we were hassling her. Pretend you're the first person to reply. What would you say?
Clearly 'hassle' has a totally different meaning or at least how i'm saying it has!
It just read, to me, that she was bombarded with really urgent requests. I can't find the words to put it how I mean it but I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm just saying to me some of the comments come across as abrupt. Like the You've already lost 5.... What's the issue, here? That to me is very in your face if you like.
It clearly is a language issue or how we use different words & I'm going to leave it at that. I don't require help from this board (at least not now anyway) & will stick to my group at home. I am entitled to my opinion & If I had been the op & got those responses I would have been hurt by them. Maybe I'm just not as thick skinned as I thought.0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
No one called her a liar. All questions asked are pertinent to weight loss...especially the logging question. She may be under the impression she's eating under 1200 calories but if her logging is off (not weighing foods, using cups/tablespoons instead of weight) that impacts what she thinks she's putting in her mouth.
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diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
Don't do it Dianne - your general tips are worth their weight in gold!!!!!!
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amyrebeccah wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
I will say, even though I post a lot, I qualify as one of those lurkers who benefited from advice like this. I've started one thread in my life because i mostly read and learned about weight fluctuations, food scales, strength training, water retention, glycogen replenishment, safe and reasonable loss goals. All of that came from reading advice posted to other people. Like you, I do get tired of it not seeming to help sometimes, and I understand why you worked up a macro to paste in. Just wanted to help you feel a little less discouraged.
+1. There are way more lurkers who benefit from the veteran posters and their questions than there are "mean people" posters who think that anyone giving out free assistance needs to take even more of their own time to make sure their questions are surrounded by supportive and loving words, pats on the head, and hugs. So another thank you from a frequent lurker!
No one here was rude, they are just getting right to the point. Considering they are taking time out of their day to help a stranger, I don't see why that's a problem?0 -
melissarobson1988 wrote: »I need to lose 20 more pounds I just started and have only lost 5, I walk 10.000 steps every day but can't seem to make it to the gym because one I don't know what to do and two I am embarrassed. I eat less than 1200 calories a day. And it's all vegetables and a bit of protine. I just don't know what to do.
OP, sorry your thread got a little derailed there! With 20 lbs left, you should set your goal to lose 1 lb per week. Eat the calories MFP gives you - there is no reason to eat less, and you definitely shouldn't eat less than 1200 cals! If you don't have one, get a food scale and use it, it makes a huge difference for most people.
There is no reason to feel embarrassed at the gym, but you don't have to go to lose weight. Walking is a great everyday exercise for weight loss. I would bet your expectations are too high, and you are probably eating more than you think, so try using all the great advice you've gotten here and good luck!0 -
suziecue20 wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
Don't do it Dianne - your general tips are worth their weight in gold!!!!!!
Agreed!!!
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These are just standard questions so that others can help her. There was nothing rude about the questions and advice here.vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
I would have been happy for that information back when I had no idea what I was doing. And yes, I would have provided my stats. A few months ago, I wasn't weighing my food, and the information given here was amazing. I quickly learned that I had many logging errors, so I started weighing absolutely everything, and you know what? I started losing weight. The "you may be eating more than you think" comment definitely was an eye opener.
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cerise_noir wrote: »
These are just standard questions so that others can help her. There was nothing rude about the questions and advice here.vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
I would have been happy for that information back when I had no idea what I was doing. And yes, I would have provided my stats. A few months ago, I wasn't weighing my food, and the information given here was amazing. I quickly learned that I had many logging errors, so I started weighing absolutely everything, and you know what? I started losing weight. The "you may be eating more than you think" comment definitely was an eye opener.
I still remember the first time I put a sweet potato on my scale. MFP and I have very different idead about the size of "1 medium potato"! All of those things really add up, don't they?
I hit my plateau when the standard advice didn't include buying a food scale. It would be months before I finally got one and realized how many little logging issues I had. That's why I give the advice that I do. It's all stuff that I wish I'd heard at the beginning of my journey instead of the end.0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL0 -
It took a bunch of lurking for me to realize the importance of a scale, too. I still lurk far more than I post and continue to learn. Right now, I'm stalking several threads on progressive lift programs and body recomposition, but I probably won't post in them until I have questions of my own.
Accurate logging (choosing database entries, logging habits, weighing, etc.) was one of the most important lessons I learned, and almost all of it was from lurking mean people posts.0 -
Hooray! The mean people posts are back.
Happy Friday!0 -
Maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. So she was asked to.vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL
"i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with..." doesn't have anything to do with being at a standstill, which is why no one said something like that.
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