Losing a certain amount, and feeling weird about continuing to lose?

kiela64 · October 2015

I've never lost more than somewhere around 15 - 20lbs in my life. On MFP, I've just passed the 15lb mark and I'm starting to feel...weird. I don't look much different, though the differences are noticeable to me. I'm still the same size clothes, though they sit better now. But I feel...anxious about losing more, if that makes sense? I feel like it might not be possible, or that I will fail to lose much more just because I never have before? I'm nervous about needing to buy new clothes, or people maybe starting to notice and comment, but other than that I just feel weird about it, like it's not really going to happen.

Has any one else faced this strange weirded out feeling when you've lost more than you have before? Did it pass, or did you figure out how to get over it?

15lbs is not very much, I know, but I've never actually gone down a size in my life. It feels bizarre and impossible to think ahead and see that happening. I'm worried that because of these feelings I will simply sabotage myself in a little way by going over and slowing down my weight loss. I already feel a decrease in interest in logging, even though I've kept logging there are some days I have to fight the "I don't want to" and I haven't before. There might be an odd not-wanting-to-lose-weight negative mind, maybe because I've always been fat and I don't have knowledge of what not-being-fat would be like, so it's scary. Idk. It's just so weird.

rnohou2010 · October 2015

Could be fear of success. We don't believe we truly deserve health and fitness. Our old ways of being are comfortable and we are afraid of change.

finnsgma · October 2015

For me it was more a feeling if "oh wow, I'm really doing this". Once I hit the 20 pound mark, I finally dropped a clothing size and once that happened, it gave me motivation to continue.

Cynthiamr2015 · October 2015

I agree with rnohou. Here is something you could try. You need to list why you want to lose weight and then what you think you will lose when you lose the weight. Then list the pros and cons of losing weight, somewhere in there you should see what scares you if you lose weight. What will be different and why that scares you. There can be many reasons why people are afraid to lose weight. I hope this makes scene.

nyponbell · October 2015

Cynthiamr2015 wrote: »

I agree with rnohou. Here is something you could try. You need to list why you want to lose weight and then what you think you will lose when you lose the weight. Then list the pros and cons of losing weight, somewhere in there you should see what scares you if you lose weight. What will be different and why that scares you. There can be many reasons why people are afraid to lose weight. I hope this makes scene.

A little self-reflection is a great idea! I struggle with self sabotage whenever I "hit" some kind of internal but not actual goal weight. For instance, this week I was finally for the first time in a very long time under 85kg and I ended up in a spiral (not just because of that, but I know it contributed). I am afraid of success (and of trying but failing and people seeing it), so I should make a proper pro-con list, and not just keep it in my head (and then not even listed fully).

OP - best of luck! You've done a great job already and I hope you can keep the momentum going!

MelodyandBarbells · October 2015

I used to just about always get distracted whenever the compliments would start coming in. Knowing how things had progressed in the past helped me watch out for the same signs. I guess you have two options. If after some introspection you realize you don't want to lose weight, that's actually easy to do. Else, all the times you sabotaged yourself could actually be a learning experience. Think about what went wrong in those cases and try to come up with solutions to prevent or handle them this time around. Just keep your eye on the prize, and you'll hit your goal

ARC1603 · October 2015

Yes I feel l like this as well and I kind of know why.

I've been overweight to various degrees most of my life. When I was young it did result in a lot of bullying and low self confidence. I always thought that losing the weight would solve so many problems or that my weight was holding me back in life. I got to my ideal weight when I was in my mid 20s and to be honest it was an anti climax. It didnt change anything in my life, if anything it just magnified my insecurities and it all happened at a rough time in my relationship with my later to be husband.

I have a weight I would probably be happy to stay at although it's outside my healthy weight range. I think I'd be able to maintain it easily and have lots of old clothes in that size. I just feel like I have no incentive to lose the rest to get to my healthy bmi. I just don't feel like it will change anything.

kiela64 · October 2015

Thanks everyone! Glad to know it's not just me. I may have psyched myself out by picking a goal weight in the healthy BMI category. It's a weight I don't think I've ever seen. Like you @ARC1603 I experienced some bullying as a kid, and I may have some "things will be better when I lose weight" ideas. I think I'm a bit afraid of being attractive. Friends of mine who are thin get harassed a lot, which I've gratefully never experienced. Maybe a more realistic goal would be good for now.

I think I need to remind myself that my goal is to lose weight for health reasons, not to look "better" or "change things" - just to be out of the woods with health issues. Thanks @Cynthiamr2015 I think I'll do that.

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

It helped me to try and not think about the big picture. I get anxiety anyway, so I just focused on that day's numbers in my diary. I never worried about yesterday's diary once it was logged, and I try not to worry about tomorrow. I just knew that if I hit the numbers, I would lose weight. No stress, no worry, just numbers on a page. Thinking of it that way just took all the emotion out of it. Anyway, that's what helped me.

This makes a lot of sense to me. I tend to think about the big picture a lot, which is weird because I'm not anywhere near there yet! I get anxiety too, and it might really just be fear of the unknown and over-planning lol.

Cynthiamr2015 · October 2015

kae612 wrote: »

Thanks everyone! Glad to know it's not just me. I may have psyched myself out by picking a goal weight in the healthy BMI category. It's a weight I don't think I've ever seen. Like you @ARC1603 I experienced some bullying as a kid, and I may have some "things will be better when I lose weight" ideas. I think I'm a bit afraid of being attractive. Friends of mine who are thin get harassed a lot, which I've gratefully never experienced. Maybe a more realistic goal would be good for now.

I think I need to remind myself that my goal is to lose weight for health reasons, not to look "better" or "change things" - just to be out of the woods with health issues. Thanks @Cynthiamr2015 I think I'll do that.

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

It helped me to try and not think about the big picture. I get anxiety anyway, so I just focused on that day's numbers in my diary. I never worried about yesterday's diary once it was logged, and I try not to worry about tomorrow. I just knew that if I hit the numbers, I would lose weight. No stress, no worry, just numbers on a page. Thinking of it that way just took all the emotion out of it. Anyway, that's what helped me.

This makes a lot of sense to me. I tend to think about the big picture a lot, which is weird because I'm not anywhere near there yet! I get anxiety too, and it might really just be fear of the unknown and over-planning lol.

God Bless :

dubird · October 2015

Set a new mini-goal and think about that. Concentrating on how weird it feels to lose more than you have in the past will set you up for failure. Instead, aim for 20lbs lost and focus on that as a goal. When you get there, celebrate a little and set a new mini-goal. Having small successes along the road to the major goal is helpful for a lot of people because you're seeing more accomplishments and that can encourage you to keep going.

Losing a certain amount, and feeling weird about continuing to lose?

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