How to deal with the haters!?

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jenlayport
jenlayport Posts: 154 Member
in Motivation and Support
My mother-n-law rudely brought it to my attention the other day in front of everyone that both of my sister-n-laws think that I am getting 'too skinny' and even had the nerve to say I looked SICK! I was so offended and hurt that they would say that behind my back but then say how 'good' Im looking to my face. My BMI is still on the low end of overweight!! I am 5'3 150lbs, eat 5 healthy meals every day and workout. I really think its jealousy because they are both very overweight and do not have the motivation to learn or join me at the gym..Ive tried numerous times! I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it still HURTS! How do you deal with it?
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Replies

  • TCASMEY
    TCASMEY Posts: 1,405 Member
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    I would say jealousy. You could try to educate them about BMI's but they probably won't get it. Or maybe you husband could say something to them about how hard you are working and how proud he is of you but you still have a few pounds to lose to be in a healthy BMI.
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    if they arent saying it to your face, that doesnt mean they are concerned, but jealous!
  • losethechalupa
    losethechalupa Posts: 51 Member
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    I doesnt have to necessarily be "hate"

    My close friend lost of ton of weight and me not use to seeing him that way thought he looked sick. People even commented that they thought he had cancer because again we all werent use to seeing him look this way.

    and we were not hating on him at all.

    It could be out of pure concern, but you know them and I can only tell you my experience.

    Just tell them, "thanks for your concern, but I have things under control" Its as simple as that. What else is there really to say after that.
  • Divabonita88
    Divabonita88 Posts: 63 Member
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    HUNNY BRUSH IT OFF SHE WISH SHE LOOKED AS GOOD AS YOU!!
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
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    Be Proud of what you have done! Brush the haters aside, cause they will always be there. Nobody can take away all the time and effort you put into changing your life. If they wanna be lazy, than that's on them!
  • parkerjen
    parkerjen Posts: 1
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    Shake it off!! I'd say it is jealousy too! You look good from what I can see! Haters are motivation to me!! You stay on track and get to where u are comfortable. Don't worry about anyone else!
  • kennysrush
    kennysrush Posts: 124
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    I've had relatives say I'm losing too much as well, but they're changing their tune when I explain how I going about things the right way and that my Blood Pressure in normal for the first time in years. Stick to your guns!
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I wouldnt discuss anything with them and I would ignore what they say ...as long as you feel good and your Dr thinks your fine...continue to reach your goal and dont focus on them...its not their journey
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Write it off as jealousy (which it clearly is) and feel good that you are so important they talk about you when you're not around!
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    They're in-laws. Be thankful that it isn't a lot worse.
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
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    Sometimes you just have to do what kids, and most men do, let it go in one ear and out the other. It could be to them, if they are over weight, you do look "sick" because they are used to you looking like the old you which to them may be their idea of healthy. They could be jealous because they can't or choose not to lose weight like you are. If you live near them, maybe see if they would like to go ona walk or do something healthy with you to get them some exercise. It would be a great time to air things out as well.
  • bootlebop1979
    bootlebop1979 Posts: 42
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    I have had family/friends/co-workers tell me that I am losing too much weight. I am 5'2" and currently 145lbs. So I am still at the low end of overweight too. I don't know if people are talking behind my back about it but, some have made comments to me personally. However, I don't think that it is all jealousy. I think depending on how much weight you have lost and how long you've been overweight, it may be that they are just used to the old you. A lot of people don't adjust well to change and they are not used to seeing this new thinner face & body =) Hold her head high, and forget what others say. You are doing this for you. You are going about it the healthy way. Keep doing your thing girlfriend!!!!
  • jenlayport
    jenlayport Posts: 154 Member
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    LOL you guys are great! Im glad I have the support on here...its hard talking to my husband about it because its his sisters and his mom and I don't want to piss him off too. He is a great support though, and he did tell his mom they need to shut it because I've been working my *kitten* off and it shows! =)
  • Marcus19
    Marcus19 Posts: 24
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    Hey....the more haters you have, THE BETTER!! It means they want what you have, and they are mad they don't / can't get it. look at it as validation sweetie. What you are doing is amazing, and no one can take that from you if you don't let them! keep pushin'. If you're lucky they'll learn from your actions, and get on board with you. If not, that's on them.
  • Life_is_Good
    Life_is_Good Posts: 361 Member
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    hmmm... inlaws....
    I've been married 25 years, still respect & (pretend to) listen to what they have to say......
  • rnroadrunner
    rnroadrunner Posts: 402 Member
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    of course it hurts when people say mean things and don't support your goals. BUT! the important thing to remember is it is not about them. it is about you maybe for the first time in your life. congrats on your new lifestyle and whether you believe it or not you are an inspiration to others. :drinker:
  • Angel1066
    Angel1066 Posts: 816 Member
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    Oh hon when people say negative things to me it spurrs me on to get to my goal weight. I love haters they help to motivate me. Keep strong you can do this.
  • goingtobefit2015
    goingtobefit2015 Posts: 408 Member
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    Don't worry too much...they see that you are dedicated and able to do something about it and they don't have the self dicipline to do it for theirself. Keep on keeping on and you will be the one benefiting and feeling better!
  • smuehlbauer
    smuehlbauer Posts: 1,041 Member
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    I'm having shirts made that say: I'm not too skinny - you're just fat
    I'm going to be making a TON of friends at the gym. LOL
    But it's for the people who feel the need to comment on my weight, when I would never dream of telling them that they need to lose a few pounds.
    LOL
    Passive agressive is the way I go.
    LOL

    (and I'm not joking - I should have the shirts later this week.....)
  • gp79
    gp79 Posts: 1,799 Member
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    That's because "Overweight" and "Fat" is the norm to her and anything less in her eyes (especially since she has known you in your heavier days). There's likely some jealousy mixed in there too!

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