Lessons I learned as an addict - translated to lessons in healthy eating

I’m one of the many people who’ve had to contend with both an addiction to drugs (many years ago) and unhealthy eating patterns (in the last few years). While I don’t believe that foods are addictive, it’s crystal-clear to me that the experience of recovering from addiction and the experience of getting free of unhealthy eating patterns are linked in very real ways.

So while I won’t get into the “are foods addictive” debate here (and I most sincerely hope nobody else does either), I did want to share some of the most important lessons I learned in recovery. I’m posting this in the hope that it may help someone – anyone – else. And as much wiser people than I have said: “Take what you need, and leave the rest”.


Clearly state to yourself how you will START your journey – not how you will end it. Paying extra close attention to your first steps will illuminate your path to long-term success.

Set small goals – identify a tiny, achievable “something” that you can do to get one (JUST ONE) step closer to where you want to be. Once you’ve achieved that step, identify your next small step.

Think in terms of what you WILL do rather than always focusing on what you WON’T do.

Find multiple sources of accountability: friends, family, colleagues, the MFP boards/groups, the reddit /r/loseit board – anywhere you can do a quick check-in. Don’t rely on a single source.

Do an accountability check-in every day. Do it more often if you need to – this is especially important early in your journey or during stressful times.

Learn how to observe yourself without judgment. Simply learning to notice your own reactions to things – even if you need to mentally set them aside to think about later - is very helpful in working out strategies for long-term success

Your mind is not your best friend. It’s normal to have self-talk going on in our heads. But sometimes, that self-talk can be incredibly negative and self-defeating – and we don’t even fully realize how much of an impact that has. So take some time to notice what complete JERKS the voices in your mind may be. I found it helpful to literally tell them to STFU sometimes, but of course you may have to do a little more in-depth work to really get rid of them

Stick with winners – those who have an “I’m going to get this done” attitude no matter what. Avoid those who are always in some sort of drama meltdown, have lists of excuses because they’re so very special, are always looking for a reason to be offended or angry, are unable to laugh at themselves, or who constantly talk about how others are wrong/unsupportive/mean/insensitive.

There’s a harsh truth that has to be added to the "stick with winners" lesson. There may be times you simply have to walk away from people you care about because it becomes so clear that not only are they not yet ready to change, but there’s also a risk they will drag you back down with them. Stepping back can be incredibly painful, but sometimes you’ve really got to do it. If you can’t step back because this is (for example) a family member under your own roof, then you will need to learn how to sort of put them in their own (colorful, decorated) box in your head and neutralize their influence on you – and you may have to reach out for professional help to do this.

Identify your own strengths. Most of us are just GREAT at describing what a mess we are, and enumerating every weakness and failing. But most of us have also come through some pretty amazing struggles and experiences without ever fully acknowledging our own resilience and strength. Recognize and name those strengths, and put some time into thinking about how you can recruit those strengths to help you succeed.

Reach out to newcomers. Don’t try to solve all of their problems - that’s not what we’re here to do. Simply hear them out, offer what you can, and try not to be too invested in the outcome. Like the rest of us, they may not “get it” right away.

Make a relapse prevention plan
Think about your triggers (boredom, mental or physical pain, isolation, complacency, anger, fatigue, self-pity) and risky environments or situations. Work out step-by-step strategies to counteract each of them. Once you’ve had a chance to test your strategies, evaluate them and adjust as needed.

Make an “I slipped” plan
When a slip or relapse happens, the first thing to remember is don’t panic. Pre-plan simple, specific actions (running water over the package of cookies, taking a walk, calling a friend, posting on MFP or reddit to ask for support) to help you get back on the path. And remember to tell the negative voices in your head – the ones that will surely start yammering about what a failure you are – to STFU.

Get busy. It’s time to explore new activities. Simply learning something new will help you focus your energy away from old habits and patterns.

Get your spiritual house in order. I'm not talking about religion here, though religion will be part of this process for some people. I’m talking about cultivating and encouraging whatever part of yourself taps into forces that are bigger than you and that leave you humbled and filled with wonder: the love of your family, appreciating a sunrise, that ‘gee whiz’ feeling when you see a hummingbird nest. You know what I mean. Doing what you can to make that experience more accessible – more a part of your everyday reality - will help you immeasurably.

Take the long view – accept that you will have a learning curve and won’t get it “right” immediately.

Afraid of failing? As long as you are still breathing, you can recover from a failure.

Don’t test your willpower. You don’t “need” to make a fancy dessert or a rich dip because family or friends are coming over for dinner or games night.

Embark on a program of “pleasure rehab”: explore activities that bring fun and enjoyment your way without being associated with using/overeating

Afraid you just can’t do this? In addiction recovery groups you sometimes hear people talk about “the gift of desperation”. When you get to a place in your life where you simply Can. Not. Do. This. Thing. Any. Longer, then you may be “gifted” with a kind of grim determination that no matter what, you will never find yourself in this place again. Tap into that. And if you can’t find it for yourself, listen to others talk about it – because when you do that, something in yourself often responds in kind, and you find your own extra reservoir of strength.

You don't always have to dig for the reasons "why". Just as the baseline for success for an addict is maintaining sobriety, the baseline for success in weight loss is maintaining a caloric deficit. So focus on that at first. Many of us eventually need to work on “why” we became addicts or over-ate, but you don’t have to do that work right away. And in some cases you don’t have to do it at ALL. The lived experience of getting free from addiction or over-eating has what I think of as a ripple effect in healing old wounds. It isn’t unusual to see someone realize that they no longer need to ask themselves “why” because simply living in recovery has resolved old hurts in unexpected ways.

Best wishes, all -