Quite hurt

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abdehor
abdehor Posts: 16
in Motivation and Support
Just thought I would share this as I am quite hurt. I was sat today with the ladies in the Gym and we were talking about clothes. I mentioned that I find it hard to find clothes that fit nice and give some shape.
This stick insect turned round in front of everyone and said ' I am not being funny but have you tried EVANS. For our ladies over the pond this shop is for Large Ladies.
I know I am overweight, I need to lose another 2 stone, Even if I lost a stone I would be in my weight range at the very top. So I am not really huge, more like plump.
I know I am being silly but I have low esteem anyway and this just knocked me for six.
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Replies

  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    In all honesty.....I would have grabbed the nearest dumbell and thrown it in her direction. How rude! Don't let this comment put you down...let it make you stronger! :flowerforyou:
  • Flwrsme
    Flwrsme Posts: 39
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    I think sometimes people, who have never had to shop at a "larger ladies" store, have no idea how it is. Dont let her discourage you though. Its one persons opinnion who knows nothing about you, your goals or your accomplishments. Stay positive and stay focused. =) Smile!
  • jenjenlv
    jenjenlv Posts: 42
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    You should have replied "No I haven't, have you?? how do YOU like them??? lol... People will be rude and heartless, people will try to bring you down... always! Don't let it get to you! :) ((hugs))
  • MidniteDayDream
    MidniteDayDream Posts: 142 Member
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    I agree, that was one rude lady. I've shopped in our big girl store, Lane Bryant, before. Even there it's sometimes really hard to find clothes that fit well. I know her comment hurt, but try to not let her ruin this journey for you. Let this make you stronger. And anytime you need support, there are thousands of supportive people here. *hugs* Stay strong :drinker:
  • Cherese1983
    Cherese1983 Posts: 211 Member
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    That is so inconsiderate. What a *****y thing to say! Don't let it get to you. People that try and humiliate others are just miserable!
  • layasideEVERYweight
    layasideEVERYweight Posts: 17
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    You should've said " Tell you what. I'll try Evans if you'll try using MANNERS and having a little CLASS in your next public conversation, shall we? #@!^%$#@!!!
  • shamandalie
    shamandalie Posts: 21
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    She could have left out the "I am not being funny but" bit. She was clearly aware she was being insulting or she wouldn't have said that.

    How rude.

    Least she's able to wear what she likes cause she clearly lacking a decent personality!
  • beamishcas
    beamishcas Posts: 226 Member
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    Some people can be so rude. About a year ago I was at a department store and asked the salesperson if she could get down a shirt from up high. She had the nerve to say, "You know this is for Petites". B*tch!!. I said "Excuse me, I am petite, I'm only 5 feet tall, and if it's any of your business, I'm shopping for my daughter." Ew , the nerve of some people . My daughter came around the rack and said,
    Did she just say what I thought she said?" So I just left the store. They didn't deserve my business.
  • mariabee
    mariabee Posts: 212 Member
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    I hear what you're saying, but (and I don't mean to be the devil's advocate here) but perhaps she really was just trying to help. Hey, I've had the same crap happen to me, so I know how you feel, but really... you did ask for some advice, and you just didn't like the answer. But as everyone has said here, just let it pump you up even more, and stick it to her!
  • abdehor
    abdehor Posts: 16
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    Thank you all for your kind words and support. I am going to put it behind me and move on. She is not worth upsetting myself over. Say's me ' putting on a brave face'
  • FifiLea
    FifiLea Posts: 80 Member
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    She sounds like a right silly cow. Have you noticed that when people are about to be "funny" (i.e. nasty) they always start their sentence with, "I'm not being funny....."?

    Don't let it get you down. You won't always be overweight, but she'll always be a nasty piece of work.
  • annrum
    annrum Posts: 144
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    What a nasty thing to say :( Remember you're making a positive change in your life and have a plan to get healthy, she's just an unpleasant wotnot (I'd have said moo but that's unkind to cows!). Try to not let it get you down (easier though that is to say than do!)
  • cathys01
    cathys01 Posts: 221
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    Unfortunately when people say things like that you get embarrassed and it is only later that you come up with the good comebacks that you should have said to her. Forgive her for her ignorance and try not to let it get you down because you know you are not of the size to shop in that store so just let it go at that. I usually find that those kind of people that make those kind of nasty remarks are usually the ones who, because they have no friends or anything good in their life, tend to be snide, rude and nasty to make up for their own shortfalls. So, pity her!! Remember you are doing something about the few pounds you want to lose and when you lose it, flaunt it in her face!!! Good luck to you.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Why are you so angry about this, and why is everyone saying she's being incredibly rude???

    Evans clothes start at UK size 16 (equivalent to size US 14) so she was hardly telling you to go somewhere that only caters for people who are grossly obese! Besides, maybe she wasn't always thin, maybe she knows about Evans because she used to wear their clothes. I have bought clothes there, and looked great in them.

    If you're having trouble finding clothes that look good on you, I suggest you take a reality check, swallow your pride, and go look at their clothes. No idea what their clothing is like at the moment, but they do have clothes that are cut specifically to flatter fat people - and after all, you are the one that was complaining that you can't find clothes to fit you...

    EDITED TO ADD: I've read this again, and it looks unkind. I don't mean it to sound that way, but I simply don't get it. You're overweight, you complained to someone that you can't get clothes that look good on you, and she suggested a place that sells clothes that will fit you. What exactly did you expect her to say?
  • isabelk
    isabelk Posts: 153 Member
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    Everyone there now knows what she's like. I bet she has a hard time making/keeping friends. She sounds so clueless I feel kind of sorry for her. You're on a journey to health but who knows what journey she's on.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    You should have told her whereever she got her personality she should get a refund STAT! LOL

    She was rude & catty and completely out of line. I guess there is a remote possiblity she was trying to be nice, but I find that hard to believe. I think she was being rude and probably one of those people that only skinny people should go to the gym.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    I think she was being rude and probably one of those people that only skinny people should go to the gym.
    Or maybe she's "skinny" because she has lost a ton of weight because she DOES go to the gym. Not everyone at the gym who is thin was always that way. I hope people don't judge me so harshly when I'm down to my target weight...

    For a thread that is full of people complaining about what was supposedly a rude comment, I think a lot of contributors could all take a good hard look at the nasty things you're saying about this woman!
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    You should've said " Tell you what. I'll try Evans if you'll try using MANNERS and having a little CLASS in your next public conversation, shall we? #@!^%$#@!!!


    Absolutely perfect!!!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    With a bmi of 26 I was just about ready to shop at Evans, so if I was the weight you describe, with my build, Evans would be a good idea. To bf honest, I've seen Evans posters and wished I could shop there :laugh: I felt like writing to ask for smaller sizes.

    It is always hard to know others' motivation. I hope this will just make you stronger. I started to lose my 2 stone when I realised I couldn't get into my favourite jeans and if they fit at the waist the rest still looked awful. Now my old favourite jeans are too big and I have a whole new set of favourites :smile: You can do it!
  • abdehor
    abdehor Posts: 16
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    Maybe I am sensitive, but we all know what she was saying. There is nothing wrong with Evans and it is good that shops cater for larger ladies.
    I would never suggest to anyone that is where they should go.
    She was saying ' you are fat' simple as that !!
    Maybe you are more 'thick skinned' than I am.

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