Quite hurt

I think sometimes people, who have never had to shop at a "larger ladies" store, have no idea how it is. Dont let her discourage you though. Its one persons opinnion who knows nothing about you, your goals or your accomplishments. Stay positive and stay focused. Smile!

I agree, that was one rude lady. I've shopped in our big girl store, Lane Bryant, before. Even there it's sometimes really hard to find clothes that fit well. I know her comment hurt, but try to not let her ruin this journey for you. Let this make you stronger. And anytime you need support, there are thousands of supportive people here. *hugs* Stay strong :drinker:

You should've said " Tell you what. I'll try Evans if you'll try using MANNERS and having a little CLASS in your next public conversation, shall we? #@!^%$#@!!!

Some people can be so rude. About a year ago I was at a department store and asked the salesperson if she could get down a shirt from up high. She had the nerve to say, "You know this is for Petites". B*tch!!. I said "Excuse me, I am petite, I'm only 5 feet tall, and if it's any of your business, I'm shopping for my daughter." Ew , the nerve of some people . My daughter came around the rack and said,
Did she just say what I thought she said?" So I just left the store. They didn't deserve my business.

What a nasty thing to say Remember you're making a positive change in your life and have a plan to get healthy, she's just an unpleasant wotnot (I'd have said moo but that's unkind to cows!). Try to not let it get you down (easier though that is to say than do!)

Why are you so angry about this, and why is everyone saying she's being incredibly rude???

Evans clothes start at UK size 16 (equivalent to size US 14) so she was hardly telling you to go somewhere that only caters for people who are grossly obese! Besides, maybe she wasn't always thin, maybe she knows about Evans because she used to wear their clothes. I have bought clothes there, and looked great in them.

If you're having trouble finding clothes that look good on you, I suggest you take a reality check, swallow your pride, and go look at their clothes. No idea what their clothing is like at the moment, but they do have clothes that are cut specifically to flatter fat people - and after all, you are the one that was complaining that you can't find clothes to fit you...

EDITED TO ADD: I've read this again, and it looks unkind. I don't mean it to sound that way, but I simply don't get it. You're overweight, you complained to someone that you can't get clothes that look good on you, and she suggested a place that sells clothes that will fit you. What exactly did you expect her to say?

You should have told her whereever she got her personality she should get a refund STAT! LOL

She was rude & catty and completely out of line. I guess there is a remote possiblity she was trying to be nice, but I find that hard to believe. I think she was being rude and probably one of those people that only skinny people should go to the gym.

You should've said " Tell you what. I'll try Evans if you'll try using MANNERS and having a little CLASS in your next public conversation, shall we? #@!^%$#@!!!

Absolutely perfect!!!

I completely understand. My sister has always been very thin, I will give her credit because she has maintained her workouts and also dances competitively and teaches ballroom dance. I am coming out of a period of my life where i let my diet go down the drain, and stopped working out, and packed on pounds as a result. I feel my sister happens to have some weird competitive thing with me, as I have been more successful on the professional side, and seems to like taking shots at me.

a prime example, my mother and I were chatting one holiday about holiday weight gain. (my sister was in the room reading a book) Mom made some comment about how hard it is to be good during the holidays and how she always puts on a few pounds. I respond that I do the same, but how we are blessed and cursed to be an Italian/American family from New Orleans (the food is amazing, but sure is hard to be "good"). At that moment my sister could have:
a) said nothing, as she had not even been involved in the conversation up to that point.
b) could have agreed that it is difficult
c) Throw in a snide comment about how she never has that problem because of her high metabolism and awesome self control.

As you may have guessed, she went with the third option. It ticked me off, and I later mentioned it to my mother explaining that I felt she was taking a shot at me and that it was uncalled for, come to find out that my mom felt that the jab was aimed at her and hurt her feelings as well. Bottom line, why cant some exercise a little self control on their jaw muscles and even if you did not really understand the difficulty, then PRETEND to have a little of the human emotion called empathy.

It is my opinion that the last two groups that are open targets for what really break down to stupid comments are people that are overweight, and people that are clinically depressed. I have had some friends fight, and some loose, the battle with depression and I know that it does not help to hear some of the ignorant comments "you just need to decide to be happy", "take up a hobby, that should cheer you up".. being bummed out is about as closely related to clinical depression as the common cold is to cancer. I do not think i need to add some of the dumb-*kitten* advice people will offer if you are overweight. Society has made people more sensitive to racial and sexist comments, but if you are heavier than the norm it seems to be perfectly accepted by many people to be very vocal about the stereotypes that they project on us. When i started going to my current gym, i saw a few people literally roll their eyes when they found I would be in their group class. that really pissed me off and I thank them for that, as I got insane workouts because I refused to do less than they did (in spite of the fact that they were skinnier than me).

so i guess the bottom line is that these people should join us in the 21st century, and learn to be a little more civil. Throw on the same filter that they use to avoid making offensive comments to other groups of people. If she was being a Bi%^&h through the comment she made, then she should be ashamed of herself. If she had indeed tried the shop and question, then be honest with the comment and say something like "I lost some weight a few years ago, but prior to that I faced the same problem you describe and found that the dresses at Evans were well made and very flattering". If you think something might sound dumb, and can not think of a neutral way to phrase it, how about you just keep the comment to yourself?

Sorry about the length of my reply, but I read your comment and it really struck a chord with me.
P.S. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, It is a quality that I bet makes you a wonderful friend.
msk

Oh that is rude! Don't let her get you down though, you are doing great!! Sometimes people just don't realize how hurtful their comments are... and sometimes people just have to hurt others to feel better about themselves! either way, it's HER issue, not yours!! :flowerforyou:

There are two ways for people to feel good about themselves;
1. Be a better person, have a positve outlook, strive to be part of the solution not the problem.
Or
2. Find fault with everyone around you, basically rise your self-image by stepping on the people around you.

I believe you met someone from group 2.

Don't let her win, let the bad feeling go and be the better person.