When your mother tells you (with a worried tone) that you look thin.
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Let me start by saying I have always been thin. While I was pregnant with my second child after gaining and losing 50+ pounds with my first, my husband's Italian grandmother started yelling at me in Italian (I don't speak Italian). After asking my husband to translate I found that she said "hopefully you will be able to hold onto the weight this time." I guess everyone's ideas of health are different...0
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My mom told me that I clearly had an eating disorder and that I looked "almost ugly" with all of the muscle. Um.... I eat a ton and enjoy my workouts AND I'm my ideal body weight and body fat%. Great. Thanks mom. Makes me realize that I am literally the ONLY person she knows who is at a healthy weight. Her concept of normal is just skewed.0
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My mom told me that I clearly had an eating disorder and that I looked "almost ugly" with all of the muscle. Um.... I eat a ton and enjoy my workouts AND I'm my ideal body weight and body fat%. Great. Thanks mom. Makes me realize that I am literally the ONLY person she knows who is at a healthy weight. Her concept of normal is just skewed.
I'm sorry. That's not a nice thing to say at all. I can relate. My mom has said for years that I have an eating disorder except she doesn't tell me. She just spreads it around to everyone she knows. Mmmkay, thanks for spreading a rumor, mom. Same as with you though. Her perception of "normal" is NOT normal. Whatever. I don't let it affect me.0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
So much ^^^this^^^, that it hurts!!0 -
Had this last week with my mum, got told I shouldn't lose any more weight and look as if I need to put a few more pounds on.
I guess it's just a mother thing.. 0 -
My dad keeps mentioning how I won't want to get bulky
I remind him that I want to see some new muscle, really!
On the skinny-or-not front, my brother was the worst (until he hit middle age). I was either Thunder Thighs or my butt was too big, or alternately I was Twig or Stick. How women (especially) can go from too fat to too thin with a missing grace period of 'good', I'll never know.0 -
hamlet1222 wrote: »I'm still 20% body fat (down from 25), and have slightly increased muscle mass, but I got this recently from my mother.
I don't want to worry her, but I'm determined to get my body fat down to 15%.
I guess a lot of mothers are like this, a friend of mine tells me that the mere fact that he doesn't live at home and eat his mothers food every day means that in her eyes he is too thin - despite him being 15 kilos heavier than when he last lived with his mother.
Sometimes parents find reassurance from an External Authority Figure like a doctor more believable than from someone whose diapers they once changed. If my mom was worried, I'd bring this up at my annual checkup and report back that my doctor told me all is well.0 -
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"cafeaulait7 wrote: »My dad keeps mentioning how I won't want to get bulky
"You don't want" means THEY don't want. That expression grinds my gears. How can you make me want the same thing as you do?
And no way am I telling my mother about my weight lifting. No way would she understand.0 -
"You don't want" means THEY don't want. That expression grinds my gears. How can you make me want the same thing as you do?
It's not that they want you to want the same thing they do. It's that they're baffled that you COULD POSSIBLY want something other than what they want. You're THEIR child, after all.
Wow, I've just defined every single argument I've had with my own mom over the past twenty years. Regardless of the specific subject.0 -
Overall my family is pretty huge except for my Mom. So far she's been supportive. But I'm sure when I start to weigh less than her I will start to hear it. My Dad won't even notice unless you tell him. And then he'll still say he can't tell.
The rest of my extended family hasnt seen me since I started and they won't see me until Christmas. And I'll be down by 75 pounds by then. They'll be in shock.0 -
I'm a mother: please allow me to explain.
1. When you were an infant the doctor weighed you ALL THE DAM TIME and the number on the scale is like a judgment on new moms. They even tell you "oh he's 33rd percentile for his age group " which is like screaming "YOURE NOT FEEDING HIM ENOUGH YOU DEVIL WOMAN" when you say it to a sleep deprived, anxiety-ridden new mom.
2. When you were a toddler, and mom finally figured out what you liked and didn't like and you were right where you were supposed to be percentile wise and she was finally lulled into a false sense of security... YOU BECAME THE PICKIEST EATER ON THE PLANET and stopped liking everything she made you and began using food as a projectile weapon aimed right at her mom-self-esteem.
Tl;Dr : moms are hard wired as well as socially conditioned to shove as much food into you as possible as often as possible so just accept that she loves you cause that's what it boils down to.0 -
We also (mothers) spend a good portion of our lives keeping our kids from injuring themselves. And a lot less scary to see a pudgy toddler fall off the slide than a skinny one. We want to believe the stuffing is impact absorption fluff (which to be fair, is actually true for a two year old). As long as she doesn't try to mess up your healthy lifestyle, just take every comment in the knowledge that it's just her so desperately loving you, her baby, and that while she would happily murder a bear for you, she'd much rather you just didn't go near bears, know what I'm sayin?0
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Part of being a parent is teaching your child to be an independent, fully-functioning member of society and letting go control0
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Sounds just like my mother as well. As I attempt to cut down to 10-12% body fat before trying my hand at a bulk, all I keep hearing is, you're too skinny, you're going to starve to death, it's not healthy to lose that much weight. Of course my dad was tall and lanky and I never once heard her say he was too skinny.
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I totally get it. My mother would always shoot me a look when I walked in the door and she'd mutter something in Italian and tell me I need to eat. Manga, manga... LOL! I lost my mother last year, the day before Thanksgiving. I'd give anything to hear her give me *kitten* about my weight loss and eating habits again...0
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My mom used to tell me that but she was right and I did in fact have an eating disorder about which I was in denial. Her nagging didn't fix it though, MFP did.
What I love is that both my parents have lost a significant amount of weight recently so when I see them I get to be the one who says "you look so skinny! " 0 -
In the past 2 years I started losing weight my mom has said, "You look great Mike! But don't lose any more weight, ok?!" too many times. Almost word for word, every time!0
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