When your mother tells you (with a worried tone) that you look thin.
hamlet1222
Posts: 459 Member
I'm still 20% body fat (down from 25), and have slightly increased muscle mass, but I got this recently from my mother.
I don't want to worry her, but I'm determined to get my body fat down to 15%.
I guess a lot of mothers are like this, a friend of mine tells me that the mere fact that he doesn't live at home and eat his mothers food every day means that in her eyes he is too thin - despite him being 15 kilos heavier than when he last lived with his mother.
I don't want to worry her, but I'm determined to get my body fat down to 15%.
I guess a lot of mothers are like this, a friend of mine tells me that the mere fact that he doesn't live at home and eat his mothers food every day means that in her eyes he is too thin - despite him being 15 kilos heavier than when he last lived with his mother.
0
Replies
-
I think this is fairly common. As long as you are healthy (both now and when you reach 15% body fat) just keep reassuring her. It's a mom-thing. First of all, we were responsible for keeping you fed and alive and healthy for many years. If it seems like you are malnourished of course a mom is going to worry. It's normal.
Also, some people equate food with love. If you aren't eating their food in the quantities they think you should then it can be taken personally. Just keep letting her know that you are strong and healthy.0 -
I get the opposite from my dad. I'm always fat, no matter my BMI. (I was 120 and 5'10" in my early 20's and he wanted to control my eating). He has issues. So as long as you are within a healthy range, ignore it.
It could be concern, or it could be grasping for control.0 -
My grandmother thought I was wasting away when I was in 30" jeans and weighed 170lb. I'm at 185lb now, and my grandmother would probably think I'm wasting away (down from 220lb) if she was alive now.
There isn't much you can do about it other than prove that you have a healthy apitite by eating her food
0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
You should eat more, rabbit.
0 -
LOL..wouldn't that be cannibalism?
Also from mother and generally in same breath "you could do with a haircut" cos one should not compliment without issuing an insult you know
0 -
I think this is fairly common. As long as you are healthy (both now and when you reach 15% body fat) just keep reassuring her. It's a mom-thing. First of all, we were responsible for keeping you fed and alive and healthy for many years. If it seems like you are malnourished of course a mom is going to worry. It's normal.
Also, some people equate food with love. If you aren't eating their food in the quantities they think you should then it can be taken personally. Just keep letting her know that you are strong and healthy.
2nd all!!!0 -
I see my mom 3 times a year and she tells me the same thing every single time. I just ignore her now and don't mention my weight at all (she stays here for a week though, so it's difficult, as she comments when I weigh my food etc, and she always brings my favorite food to sabotage me).0
-
-
I can TOTALLY relate to this!
Every time I see my mum (every single Saturday!) she looks me up and down and repeats in horror "YOU'RE DISAPPEARING, THAT'S ENOUGH NOW!". I'm 22% body fat, hoping to get down to around 18%. I daren't tell my mum this as she won't listen to the logic and instead will think I'm trying to lose 'weight' when I'm actually at maintenance now! *laughs* I love my mum
0 -
I dunno, maybe your clothes are hanging loose on you and it is time to buy something that fits you right for when you see her.
---
It is normal for people to see a change in us and have concerns. After a while they will get used to the new look.0 -
I got that from my daughter, lol.
Now she is used to how I look at a lower weight so she doesn't say it anymore.
Just do what's healthy and right for you and she'll eventually become accustomed to your new look.0 -
A lot of my family are fairly tall and thin so no-one really comments on it.
Random older ladies at work always tell me I look like I need a doughnut or 6. I just ask if they've got one spare for me.0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
You should eat more, rabbit.
SNORT!0 -
Is there something she does make that fits in your diet that freezes well that you could ask her to make for you so you can take it home. Sometimes a mom just needs to feel needed .0
-
Sounds like she's just being a mom. So long as she doesn't sabotage you it's probably harmless.
I'm consistently trying to plump up my slightly underweight son (he's 3) but he just keeps using the extra calories to grow taller. Dang children.0 -
My mom used to drive me crazy with this stuff. Would love to have her back to drive me crazy some more.0
-
Right around the 15% my mom changed her tone from being happy about my weight loss to concerned,
The next time she visited the first words out of her mouth when I opened the door was, Bla bla too skinny bla bla bla
So I just shot back with, hi mom, gee you are looking awfully fat.
Haven't heard a peep out of her on the subject since. However my dad downloaded the MFP app and has lost 20 lbs. 0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
At least she says you look gorgeous. I don't get that from my overweight family(love them by the way). All I get is "you're too thin".
I pay it no mind. I have to be healthy and like what I see in the mirror. This is about ME!!
0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
Had to laugh at this because my mother sometimes gets fixated on things too. No matter how much reassurance you give her, she persists. Sometimes as a mother it is easier to offer "helpful" advice about things that we can fix like food and haircuts, rather than broken hearts or deviant behavior.0 -
Let me start by saying I have always been thin. While I was pregnant with my second child after gaining and losing 50+ pounds with my first, my husband's Italian grandmother started yelling at me in Italian (I don't speak Italian). After asking my husband to translate I found that she said "hopefully you will be able to hold onto the weight this time." I guess everyone's ideas of health are different...0
-
My mom told me that I clearly had an eating disorder and that I looked "almost ugly" with all of the muscle. Um.... I eat a ton and enjoy my workouts AND I'm my ideal body weight and body fat%. Great. Thanks mom. Makes me realize that I am literally the ONLY person she knows who is at a healthy weight. Her concept of normal is just skewed.0
-
My mom told me that I clearly had an eating disorder and that I looked "almost ugly" with all of the muscle. Um.... I eat a ton and enjoy my workouts AND I'm my ideal body weight and body fat%. Great. Thanks mom. Makes me realize that I am literally the ONLY person she knows who is at a healthy weight. Her concept of normal is just skewed.
I'm sorry. That's not a nice thing to say at all. I can relate. My mom has said for years that I have an eating disorder except she doesn't tell me. She just spreads it around to everyone she knows. Mmmkay, thanks for spreading a rumor, mom. Same as with you though. Her perception of "normal" is NOT normal. Whatever. I don't let it affect me.0 -
Every time I visit I get "you look gorgeous, are you going to stop now?"
I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"
Which is why I stopped losing weight in February, Mother
"Ok...but don't lose any more you look great"
OK mother I won't
To sister: seriously haven't you found a decent home yet?
So much ^^^this^^^, that it hurts!!0 -
Had this last week with my mum, got told I shouldn't lose any more weight and look as if I need to put a few more pounds on.
I guess it's just a mother thing.. 0 -
My dad keeps mentioning how I won't want to get bulky I remind him that I want to see some new muscle, really!
On the skinny-or-not front, my brother was the worst (until he hit middle age). I was either Thunder Thighs or my butt was too big, or alternately I was Twig or Stick. How women (especially) can go from too fat to too thin with a missing grace period of 'good', I'll never know.0 -
hamlet1222 wrote: »I'm still 20% body fat (down from 25), and have slightly increased muscle mass, but I got this recently from my mother.
I don't want to worry her, but I'm determined to get my body fat down to 15%.
I guess a lot of mothers are like this, a friend of mine tells me that the mere fact that he doesn't live at home and eat his mothers food every day means that in her eyes he is too thin - despite him being 15 kilos heavier than when he last lived with his mother.
Sometimes parents find reassurance from an External Authority Figure like a doctor more believable than from someone whose diapers they once changed. If my mom was worried, I'd bring this up at my annual checkup and report back that my doctor told me all is well.0 -
"Yes but you don't want to get too thin"cafeaulait7 wrote: »My dad keeps mentioning how I won't want to get bulky
"You don't want" means THEY don't want. That expression grinds my gears. How can you make me want the same thing as you do?
And no way am I telling my mother about my weight lifting. No way would she understand.0 -
"You don't want" means THEY don't want. That expression grinds my gears. How can you make me want the same thing as you do?
It's not that they want you to want the same thing they do. It's that they're baffled that you COULD POSSIBLY want something other than what they want. You're THEIR child, after all.
Wow, I've just defined every single argument I've had with my own mom over the past twenty years. Regardless of the specific subject.0 -
Overall my family is pretty huge except for my Mom. So far she's been supportive. But I'm sure when I start to weigh less than her I will start to hear it. My Dad won't even notice unless you tell him. And then he'll still say he can't tell.
The rest of my extended family hasnt seen me since I started and they won't see me until Christmas. And I'll be down by 75 pounds by then. They'll be in shock.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions