Big Girl for Life

I've always been bigger than the other kids. In the beginning, it wasn't just fatter, it was taller too. I'm six foot with the frame of a decent football player. My grandmother was a big woman, but you couldn't tell because she sat in her chair all day. I don't mind being curvy at all, and in fact, I have a pretty good self image.

That's what made it okay for me to say to myself "You know what kid? You. Are. Fat." I hit the 300lbs mark about my Junior year of college, and have wavered around it since then. I threw out my back and did take care of it, so with my weight, it has become a big disability sometimes. My knees ache, my feet ache, I run out of breath from climbing stairs, and I don't fit into theatre chairs (I'm a big drama nerd, been in shows since I was in the sixth grade, almost one a year, sometimes two consistently.) It has always embarrassed me when I have to have custom costumes made for me because I just don't FIT. But instead of doing something, I just made excuses.

I just graduated from college with a Bachelors in Video and Digital Media, am working in Detroit, and have a wonderful partner. My life is starting to fall into place and I realized that it's now or never. I have the time, the resources, and the DRIVE to do this RIGHT now. I have the chance to do something for myself and myself only. My partner finds me attractive, so that isn't my problem. I feel older than I should. I'm only 23 (in a few days) and I feel about 30. When I actually GET to thirty---I want to be excited. I want to feel good, and I want to be active.