Ashamed slightly, but being honest about goals and struggles

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anominus
anominus Posts: 3 Member
edited October 2015 in Motivation and Support
I don't quite know how to begin this... I suppose I feel lost and alone and foreign in this skin and I was curious if anyone feels similarly and has similar goals and would like someone to support them and vice versa?

My goal? I need to normalize my eating need to lose at least thirty pounds. Without posting my life story, I have studied nutrition and weight loss as a hobby for years, so I guess I do know what I am doing, it is just the shame and fear based eating cycle I need to work on and hoped talking with someone in a similar space could help us both?

I'm 24, 5'10" and nearly 200 pounds and plan to go about this healthfully.

Replies

  • bearondiet
    bearondiet Posts: 53 Member
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    If you are not going to cut down on calorie intake beneath the normal maintenance level, you want cardio.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,716 Member
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    It's great that you know the facts and mechanics of nutrition and fitness, but learning to have a healthy relationship with food is the first step. You can do it. Lots of people get into bad cycles. Don't be ashamed. That's a waste of energy. Use that energy to learn from the mistakes and start implementing new, good habits small steps at a time.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Being ashamed is your first mistake....focus forward...
  • Melgibbs
    Melgibbs Posts: 26 Member
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    At some point you need to get real with yourself and say I hate living this way and I'm going to change. Let those feelings of shame go because they can hold you back and feed the drive to eat unhealthy. Most of the time people go to food for comfort. When we hate ourselves, hate our bodies, and feel shame we subconsciously eat our feelings. Once we start treating ourselves like we are worthy then we can begin to feel that. I once read a saying about treat your body like a temple. That's so true. Also we feel/are what we eat and should not eat fake crap because then we will feel like crap.
  • ashleyfreeman17
    ashleyfreeman17 Posts: 34 Member
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    I feel like you are talking about me! I am 26, mommy of two and keep wrecking my progress. I get in my own way and understand that fear and shame you mentioned. I agree with the other post - shame is not the way to go. We are human, we can't be perfect and the feelings shame bring about only bring us back into the same nasty cycle. Sending you some positive motivation. You ARE strong. You ARE worth it. You CAN do this!
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Yoga helped me with my relationship with food because it helps with the body/mind connection.
    Also, when I was weight training, I felt fantastic.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    You really can do it. Just make one small change this week don't do anything drastic
    Good luck
  • estella430
    estella430 Posts: 3 Member
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    I'm in the very same situation with similar feelings. It's very important that I get motivated to change my eating habits but sometimes I lack the will power to do so. It's been a battle for me trying to fight the sugar and salt craving. Any advice guys on how to win this battle over eating bad?
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I think everyone goes through that stage. Recognizing it is a good step, now you need a plan of action to work through it.

    If you're just starting out, focus on weighing and logging accurately for a week. It WILL be a shocker when you see what your totals are, but that's ok. It's giving you a baseline and will help you identify eating habits and patterns you need to change. Then, start slowly, maybe one thing at a time. Give yourself time to get used to what you're changing before you change something else. Example: I started with just swapping soda when I eat out for unsweet tea with Equal. Knocks 200-300 calories out of my day (since at the time, i ate out a LOT) and is something I like. Once I got used to it, I started changing other things. Slow, but it set me up for being able to make better eating choices and will help me KEEP it off in the future.

    Just keep in mind that you will have off days. Unexpected meals out, celebrations, holidays, days you just don't give a Beyonce about what you're eating. Just log it and move on. It doesn't make you a failure and it won't sabotage your progress, it just means you're human. We all have off days, it's normal.
  • New_determination
    New_determination Posts: 1,460 Member
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    m9szjew6u3lg.jpg

    Believe in urself n put the time n effort in you will accomplish ur goals!
  • red0801
    red0801 Posts: 283 Member
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    Being ashamed is your first mistake....focus forward...

    I agree. I have found the best results when I've been honest about where I am, made a plan to improve & done my best to show up for my life today. Someday's that means I'm @ the gym @ 4am & in bed by 8pm & think I've knocked it out of the park, some days the best i have is a walk around the block. But no matter what I get in some form of exercise for 60 minutes every other day. That way if I have an off day it's not the end of the world. But if i wake up & didn't get to the gym yesterday I know i need to get my tail there today NO MATTER WHAT! The biggest gift I've found over the last couple years is letting go of the scale!! Today my fitness goals are based on activities & abilities (10 pushups or 2 pullups or jog a mile or touch my hands behind my back) not a value someone else says is important. It has given me not only a sense of accomplishment, put I've also gained in my understanding of what REALLY matters to me.
  • red0801
    red0801 Posts: 283 Member
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    m9szjew6u3lg.jpg

    Believe in urself n put the time n effort in you will accomplish ur goals!

    THAT IS AWESOME!!!!
  • christinaleigh44
    christinaleigh44 Posts: 28 Member
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    First you gotta think POSITIVE. Make small changes, stick with it, and you will see progress. You even being on MFP is a start. Baby steps, slow and steady wins the race. and remember, YOU CAN DO THIS.
  • zorahgail
    zorahgail Posts: 91 Member
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    @anominus way to go on being honest. It takes courage to own up to where you are, especially when shame and fear are involved.

    Ditto on what's been said regarding thinking, feeling, and acting in positive ways as you make changes. In my own experience attitude and consistency are critical.

    A few things that help me deal with shame and fear:

    - Notice and acknowledge that I'm feeling them, then take one deep breath before taking any sort of action to deal
    - Pay attention to my self-talk. If I'm being harsh or beating myself up I do my best to talk to myself as if I were talking to someone I love.
    - Go all out and indulge in a pity party for 10-30 minutes, then MOVE ON.

    Remember that building confidence during weight loss comes from doing things that make you feel successful!

    You CAN do this!
  • anominus
    anominus Posts: 3 Member
    edited October 2015
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    I am quite shocked. I can't say how much your words mean to me. I appreciate each of you so for taking the time to write such kind and thoughtful responses. It gives me that freedom and support I've needed. Hope. The indescribable. :smile: When you share your thoughts, experiences, feelings, encouragement, and advice... I feel less alone, like I can do this, like I deserve to? I plan to implement your guys' ideas and have started to. I just... thank you again, so very much. I wish each of you the best as you continue your journeys, and I hope you impart some of the positivity and kindness among yourselves, sometimes it is hardest to speak kindly to ourselves. Find something that makes you feel successful today, however small, also one thing in your day to appreciate and smile for. Take care. x
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    It's great that you know the facts and mechanics of nutrition and fitness, but learning to have a healthy relationship with food is the first step. You can do it. Lots of people get into bad cycles. Don't be ashamed. That's a waste of energy. Use that energy to learn from the mistakes and start implementing new, good habits small steps at a time.
    Being ashamed is your first mistake....focus forward...
    Melgibbs wrote: »
    At some point you need to get real with yourself and say I hate living this way and I'm going to change. Let those feelings of shame go because they can hold you back and feed the drive to eat unhealthy. Most of the time people go to food for comfort. When we hate ourselves, hate our bodies, and feel shame we subconsciously eat our feelings. Once we start treating ourselves like we are worthy then we can begin to feel that. I once read a saying about treat your body like a temple. That's so true. Also we feel/are what we eat and should not eat fake crap because then we will feel like crap.
    RodaRose wrote: »
    Yoga helped me with my relationship with food because it helps with the body/mind connection.
    Also, when I was weight training, I felt fantastic.
    You really can do it. Just make one small change this week don't do anything drastic.
    Good luck
    dubird wrote: »
    I think everyone goes through that stage. Recognizing it is a good step, now you need a plan of action to work through it.

    If you're just starting out, focus on weighing and logging accurately for a week. It WILL be a shocker when you see what your totals are, but that's ok. It's giving you a baseline and will help you identify eating habits and patterns you need to change. Then, start slowly, maybe one thing at a time. Give yourself time to get used to what you're changing before you change something else.

    Just log it and move on. It doesn't make you a failure and it won't sabotage your progress, it just means you're human. We all have off days, it's normal.
    Believe in urself n put the time n effort in you will accomplish ur goals!
    red0801 wrote: »
    I agree. I have found the best results when I've been honest about where I am, made a plan to improve & done my best to show up for my life today. Someday's that means I'm @ the gym @ 4am & in bed by 8pm & think I've knocked it out of the park, some days the best I have is a walk around the block. But no matter what I get in some form of exercise for 60 minutes every other day. That way if I have an off day it's not the end of the world. But if i wake up & didn't get tTHIS.
    First you gotta think POSITIVE. Make small changes, stick with it, and you will see progress. You even being on MFP is a start. Baby steps, slow and steady wins the race. and remember, YOU CAN DO THIS.
    zorahgail wrote: »
    way to go on being honest. It takes courage to own up to where you are, especially when shame and fear are involved.

    Ditto on what's been said regarding thinking, feeling, and acting in positive ways as you make changes. In my own experience attitude and consistency are critical.

    A few things that help me deal with shame and fear:


    - Notice and acknowledge that I'm feeling them, then take one deep breath before taking any sort of action to deal
    - Pay attention to my self-talk. If I'm being harsh or beating myself up I do my best to talk to myself as if I were talking to someone I love.
    - Go all out and indulge in a pity party for 10-30 minutes, then MOVE ON.

    Remember that building confidence during weight loss comes from doing things that make you feel successful!

    You CAN do this!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    Options
    Let go of the shame. You need to get it in gear and wallowing in shame...it's unproductive.

    I know you want to be thinner, but do you really, REALLY want to do the hard work of losing weight, every day, for a long time? When the answer to that question is "YES!" then you will do it and you will lose weight and you will be thin! :)
  • zorahgail
    zorahgail Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    @anominus keep us posted and we got your back!