Need Help Finding My "Why"

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Michal7361
Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I'm one of those who's been dieting in some form or fashion since childhood. I've never been obese, but ALWAYS chubby. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm an emotional eater, especially when I'm bored, and I'm not good at making exercise a priority. AND I live in the South where food is life. But my main problem is I've never been able to find a great reason to get in shape or lose the extra 20 or so pounds I carry. I think,"Why should I go to that trouble? I'm extremely lucky (and grateful!) to have the kind of family who doesn't judge and loves unconditionally. My health has not yet been impacted by the extra pounds (I'm only 29), and I don't look THAT bad."

But then, bathing suit season hits. Or I have a dressy event to attend. Or my work clothes begin to get tight. And I know I don't have to explain to this community how awful that feels.

So my question is, for those of you who aren't losing weight for vanity or health, why would you say you are you doing it?

Replies

  • bri170lb
    bri170lb Posts: 1,375 Member
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    I think you answered your own question:

    "But then, bathing suit season hits. Or I have a dressy event to attend. Or my work clothes begin to get tight........ how awful that feels."

    Do it so that you don't have to feel awful, you'll feel awesome instead!


  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    Well, I'll admit that I maintain my weight both for health and vanity reasons, but maybe switch your focus completely. Since health isn't a concern and you only sometimes are concerned about your size I'd say set a fitness goal. Do you play sports? Are you physically active? What do you LIKE to do? Start there and improve in that specific area or learn a new activity you've been wanting to try. Shifting your focus to your body's ability may help.
  • Michal7361
    Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Well, I'll admit that I maintain my weight both for health and vanity reasons, but maybe switch your focus completely. Since health isn't a concern and you only sometimes are concerned about your size I'd say set a fitness goal. Do you play sports? Are you physically active? What do you LIKE to do? Start there and improve in that specific area or learn a new activity you've been wanting to try. Shifting your focus to your body's ability may help.

    Lol, sports. That's a word I've heard...I think...once...yeah no I was that kid who had to be forced to play sports. I could usually be found in the library in elementary school. I have always loved to dance, but I live in an area where dance = sin unless you're a little girl in ballet. So it's either a one-person dance party in my kitchen (sad) or nada. But I'll give what you've said some thought, thanks for the response!
  • Michal7361
    Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
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    bri170lb wrote: »
    I think you answered your own question:

    "But then, bathing suit season hits. Or I have a dressy event to attend. Or my work clothes begin to get tight........ how awful that feels."

    Do it so that you don't have to feel awful, you'll feel awesome instead!


    Yes but the awfulness is fleeting! Or the "love your body who cares what people think" kicks in! My signature is at the top of the list on the petition to end body shaming, but for me at least it's translated to zero incentive to lose some weight. Sigh.
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I did it once and for all at 32. I was never "overweight" just on the high end of normal. That seemed to be the time where the pounds would just keep finding me and I knew I was approaching the 200lb mark (I'm 5'11 and I always told myself I'd never get over that). My size 14's were getting tight and enough was enough. I was tired of being tired. I knew I had to find a way to maintain my weight and deal with it or as I aged it would get harder and harder. I lost 50lbs over about 1 1/2 years, so very slowly. Since then I've been up 10, then down 10. Now I'm up 5. I told myself that I could maintain anywhere between 150-160. I weigh once a week. I'm currently almost 37.

    I didn't have the "moment". I just had the "wait, I can do everything else I want to do, why can't I do this?" So I learned the healthy way to lose the weight, kept at it and before I knew it the size on my pants said 4, not 14. I didn't have a dramatic "holy crap" moment. One day I decided it was time to get real.
  • jmule24
    jmule24 Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Did you happen to look under the couch cushions yet???? I seem to find A LOT of things stuck there!!!!!
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,709 Member
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    Michal7361 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Well, I'll admit that I maintain my weight both for health and vanity reasons, but maybe switch your focus completely. Since health isn't a concern and you only sometimes are concerned about your size I'd say set a fitness goal. Do you play sports? Are you physically active? What do you LIKE to do? Start there and improve in that specific area or learn a new activity you've been wanting to try. Shifting your focus to your body's ability may help.

    Lol, sports. That's a word I've heard...I think...once...yeah no I was that kid who had to be forced to play sports. I could usually be found in the library in elementary school. I have always loved to dance, but I live in an area where dance = sin unless you're a little girl in ballet. So it's either a one-person dance party in my kitchen (sad) or nada. But I'll give what you've said some thought, thanks for the response!

    At first this made me laugh, but I'm sorry you're unable to pursue something you enjoy! And, I read your profile pic AFTER I posted or else I wouldn't have suggested sports. However, I was never an athlete when I was younger and only participated in gym enough to pass. A few years ago I discovered lifting and don't do much cardio anymore but occasionally challenge myself on the step mill. I'm in my "element" at the gym and I love it!

    That's all you need to do - find something you do enjoy. Or, if you're not going to be physically active at all, you can still lose weight just by eating less.
  • Michal7361
    Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
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    kristen6350 wrote: »
    I did it once and for all at 32. I was never "overweight" just on the high end of normal. That seemed to be the time where the pounds would just keep finding me and I knew I was approaching the 200lb mark (I'm 5'11 and I always told myself I'd never get over that). My size 14's were getting tight and enough was enough. I was tired of being tired. I knew I had to find a way to maintain my weight and deal with it or as I aged it would get harder and harder. I lost 50lbs over about 1 1/2 years, so very slowly. Since then I've been up 10, then down 10. Now I'm up 5. I told myself that I could maintain anywhere between 150-160. I weigh once a week. I'm currently almost 37.

    I didn't have the "moment". I just had the "wait, I can do everything else I want to do, why can't I do this?" So I learned the healthy way to lose the weight, kept at it and before I knew it the size on my pants said 4, not 14. I didn't have a dramatic "holy crap" moment. One day I decided it was time to get real.

    That's a solid attitude. It seems like the only things that ever get any attention are what you call the "holy crap" moments, but this is much more realistic. Thank you!
  • big2strongCO
    big2strongCO Posts: 41 Member
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    Why, because the 20 lbs. now will turn into 40, 50 , 60 etc..as you get older. I have always been overweight but in my teens and twenties it wasn't too bad much like you, but then my 30's and 40's hit and boom your energy drops, your metabolism slows, you really start to let things go because it gets harder and harder to loose and easier to just go with it. Your 29 take advantage of it, get you act together because one day you could be looking back and saying I should have listened to that guy when I was 29 now I have 100 lbs. to loose, and that is a long dark tunnel believe me I've been there.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    I think for me, it was about living out my 20's the best that I can be. I dont want to look back when I am 50 and think "damn I sure wish I started when I was younger." As many people on MFP have shared similar thoughts, to me - get it done while your young!

    I also believe that if you do not take care of yourself, before you know it you will be 20lbs heavier than you are in a few years and wonder "wtf?" If you dont try, you will get bigger.

    If you love to dance, why dont you try some of those DVD programs that you can do in the privacy of your own home? There is Zumba, Hip Hop Abs, Cize (I think this is dance?), there is a ton out there!


  • Michal7361
    Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
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    dakotababy wrote: »
    I think for me, it was about living out my 20's the best that I can be. I dont want to look back when I am 50 and think "damn I sure wish I started when I was younger." As many people on MFP have shared similar thoughts, to me - get it done while your young!

    I also believe that if you do not take care of yourself, before you know it you will be 20lbs heavier than you are in a few years and wonder "wtf?" If you dont try, you will get bigger.

    If you love to dance, why dont you try some of those DVD programs that you can do in the privacy of your own home? There is Zumba, Hip Hop Abs, Cize (I think this is dance?), there is a ton out there!


    You and big2strong both have a good point about nipping the issue in the bud while it's "easier." As for the dance programs, yeah I have a bunch of DVDs plus YouTube is an infinite source, but I hate doing stuff like that alone. When I was in college I fell in love with fitness classes and now trying to go it alone is soooo depressing. And before you ask, no we do not have much in the way of fitness classes where I live. Dance classes are for kids, and most of the other group classes are geared toward senior citizens. It's not a coincidence that we have kind of a high rate of overweight here. But I appreciate the suggestions!
  • jmule24
    jmule24 Posts: 1,404 Member
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    In all seriousness, your initial post does a great job minimizing what is going on...... my recommendation, find some professional help to get at the "emotional eating." Then find some fun things to do that also help you burn some calories.......
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    Only you can figure out what your motivation is. Personally... I do it because I can and I should. It isn't really about how I look, but it is a little, it isn't about being healthier, my health is excellent. I just want to be the best me I can be. I am doing great in all other aspects so it is time to work on the vehicle that carries my brain around.

    As for dancing being just for kids... when I go to the dojo to workout several nights a week there are several dance classes going on in other parts of the building. I see a lot of adults there having a wonderful time doing the jitterbug, jive waltz lindy hop etc....The wife of one of my dojo mates even takes ballet lessons. Maybe you just have to look around a bit harder for the opportunity. Who cares what other people think? Do what you love and you will never have to force yourself to exercise.
  • Michal7361
    Michal7361 Posts: 25 Member
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    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    Only you can figure out what your motivation is. Personally... I do it because I can and I should. It isn't really about how I look, but it is a little, it isn't about being healthier, my health is excellent. I just want to be the best me I can be. I am doing great in all other aspects so it is time to work on the vehicle that carries my brain around.

    As for dancing being just for kids... when I go to the dojo to workout several nights a week there are several dance classes going on in other parts of the building. I see a lot of adults there having a wonderful time doing the jitterbug, jive waltz lindy hop etc....The wife of one of my dojo mates even takes ballet lessons. Maybe you just have to look around a bit harder for the opportunity. Who cares what other people think? Do what you love and you will never have to force yourself to exercise.

    Nooooo don't misunderstand. I don't mean I think dancing is "just for kids." I mean I think I aged out of the only classes around here about 15 years ago.

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