I don't have any willpower, at all

girlwithcurls2 · October 2015

vivmom2014 wrote: »

I would go for more calories. You will lose at a slightly slower rate, but isn't a little more room to enjoy your food worth it? You sound so sad.

This. I think maybe if you experience a little success, it might motivate you to continue. I read that you have yo-yo'd before, so it doesn't sound like my idea is a "fix" for you, but maybe with the help of a counselor who can help you focus on positive changes you are making, you can begin to see yourself as others see you. You are worth every bit of weight lost. How many things did we try and fail at? It took me two years to learn to drive well enough to pass my driver's test. If you are yo-yo dieting, maybe you're only at the beginning of real learning: eating well, adding exercise, calorie counting, macro counting, whatever.

I wish there was some magic thing to tell you. You do sound sad. I think the suggestion to up your calories is a good one. Set your weight loss for a slower goal, and chip away at it. Really, if it takes you longer to do, it's just that much more time for you to solidify a new way of thinking about food... and your relationship to it.

Hugs,
~Curly

lalalalalaurie · October 2015

HippySkoppy wrote: »

Firstly I am sorry that you are in such a dark place, you have mentioned that you see a Therapist yet you are still struggling, I would suggest you make the break and find another Therapist/Psychologist that you can relate with and one that hopefully has experience/interest with disordered eating and together you can effectively tackle the emotional issues you are facing.

I'm choosing to take your 'idea' of taking drugs to mean you are asking whether you need anti-depressants, perhaps it is time to take them, this is of course something that you need to take up with your Doctor as soon as you can, as you have been struggling for some time now, on your own and this is obviously not working for you, so Yeah, with good support and the help of anti-depressants you may well find that your issues around overeating and your feelings of failure and depression lessen.

In the meantime, continue getting in your walking and other exercises they can help lift your mood. How about for the moment you eat at maintenance rather than adding in another stressor of losing weight and then bottoming out because you fall of the wagon. Get the other areas of your life together and where you feel happier and stronger then tackle your weight......

Focus on nutritionally dense foods that you enjoy, add in treats that you enjoy in moderation make sure you stay well hydrated and just be you as you are for a while till you can get an effective handle on your depression and negative self-talk. Use this time to nurture yourself in as many ways as you can think of.....what ever brings you peace and joy indulge yourself with....maybe that is getting a massage, manicure, walking by the Sea, reading that book you have wanted to read but have put off....whatever.

Use MFP to log your all foods too.....at least that way you know that during this 'taking a breath' time you aren't going to gain and thus add to your already large load of self deprecation.

I wish you all the best.

Thank you for that. A lot of helpful advice.

About the drug comment. Although there was a touch of seriousness, it was mostly snark, but that is impossible to tell in text.

I should have replaced the sentence with "should I have a lobotomy" to show how serious I was.

DeguelloTex · October 2015

lalalalalaurie wrote: »

DeguelloTex wrote: »

rankinsect wrote: »

Willpower is an exhaustible resource. If your diet requires you to constantly exert willpower, you will always fail.

And, yet, I haven't failed, despite living in a home with three other people who aren't restricting calories, which means the house is full of food that I must decide against.

It sounds like OP's issues are far beyond anything that can be resolved in an online forum. Some time with a professional, maybe one who can write prescriptions, sounds like it may be in order.

Since I am the one that made the post there is no need to refer to me in 3rd person.

Everyone has down days and it is helpful to connect with those that can relate. For those of you who cannot, feel free to not chime in if you feel it is beyond your scope or comfort zone.

Well, since I quoted someone else, yeah, there was a need to refer to you in the third person to make it clear I had shifted from responding to the person I quoted to responding to you.

What you posted is more than a down day. You asked if you should start doing drugs to cope with your problems. Maybe you were just kidding, but the post didn't have the air of a joke.

lalalalalaurie · October 2015

girlwithcurls2 wrote: »

vivmom2014 wrote: »

I would go for more calories. You will lose at a slightly slower rate, but isn't a little more room to enjoy your food worth it? You sound so sad.

This. I think maybe if you experience a little success, it might motivate you to continue. I read that you have yo-yo'd before, so it doesn't sound like my idea is a "fix" for you, but maybe with the help of a counselor who can help you focus on positive changes you are making, you can begin to see yourself as others see you. You are worth every bit of weight lost. How many things did we try and fail at? It took me two years to learn to drive well enough to pass my driver's test. If you are yo-yo dieting, maybe you're only at the beginning of real learning: eating well, adding exercise, calorie counting, macro counting, whatever.

I wish there was some magic thing to tell you. You do sound sad. I think the suggestion to up your calories is a good one. Set your weight loss for a slower goal, and chip away at it. Really, if it takes you longer to do, it's just that much more time for you to solidify a new way of thinking about food... and your relationship to it.

Hugs,
~Curly

Thank you for this Curly.

It's incredibly helpful.

vespiquenn · October 2015

I have depression, bipolar, and anxiety, so I know how hopeless it can feel. Although I agree with the idea that you just want it bad enough, there are things to help you transition into that. A lot of people will claim that there was a life altering event that made the click for a lifestyle change, but sometimes it's a little less dramatic. I literally woke up one day and started to walk more.

I know you said you're getting therapy, but if it's not working, it may be time to switch therapists or therapy type. I had a few therapists that I didn't trust very well, so I would lie my way through it until I didn't have to go back. After years, I finally found one that worked and started to address my perfection issues. Helped a lot. Therapy isn't a one size fits all. It's kind of trial and error.

Also, it may be a good idea to get on a low dose of anti depressant if you aren't already. I kind of assume that you are if you're doing therapy, but you never know. Low dosage can be the baseline of whether it works or you need to build up from there.

In regards to the weightloss, take one day at a time. Depression steals a lot of energy, and to waste what little you may have dwelling on a bad day just isn't productive. Keep telling yourself that over and over because the depression will say otherwise. Then, maybe focus on one goal a day/week as to not feel overwhelmed. Maybe one week can be that you want to get some extra steps or exercise. Maybe it can be adding a healthy habit like drinking more water. That way, you're building yourself up for success rather that biting off more than you can chew. And if you have a bad day, log it and move on. Even yesterday I was doing awesome, then probably consumed over 1200 calories in hamburger, fries, and alcohol. We are all human. It happens. Don't let it make you feel like you failed, because you didn't. Just a little bump in the road.

Traveler120 · October 2015

lalalalalaurie wrote: »

kshama2001 wrote: »

Exercise works as well as anti-depressants for mild to moderate depression so maybe try that first.

Also try filling up on satiating food to see if this makes you less likely to overeat: http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html

Thanks for this.

Maybe I can up my exercise from what I already do. I already get 10k plus steps and this morning I ran 45 minutes and meditated. I was okay for a bit. But the smallest crap throws me off and then I am off for the entire day after. For me it was seeing how fat I was in a mirror and I felt hopeless

But I was eating crap anyway even if I started the day with good intentions I still ignored it later.

You need to clean up your environment. If you have problems with saying no to crap food, start with removing the crap food from your house. If you're an emotional eater, that's not going to change overnight or ever, so the solution is to have healthy foods available. I'm an emotional eater as well, and have had depression for too long, so when I'm feeling bummed, I have nothing but whole foods available. I'll go make a smoothie or a pancake or some flat bread which I'll eat with some veggies coz I don't have chocolates or ice cream in the fridge.

I've managed to lose 30 lbs this year despite being in the worst period of my depression. I'm now down to 125 lbs and looking better than I have in many years. I still have no willpower if I have crap food around. The place to really exercise it is at the grocery store. Don't go by the cookies or ice cream aisle if you're having a bad day. If I absolutely must have ice cream, I'll buy a pint size not a half gallon or quart size. I've also found that if I allow myself these sweets once a week without guilt, then it's no longer a battle of the wills. You've got to find coping strategies that work for you within your own limitations or weaknesses.

I don't have any willpower, at all

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