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I'm a failure and disappointment to myself...
Kimbers330
Posts: 7 Member
Last year, I lost 33lbs in 4 months... Then I gained it all back and then some out of frustration of a plateau. I feel like a failure and am disappointed in myself. A part of me really wants to go all in and do this and then the other part tells me I'll just fail again and has no motivation. I don't know how to get myself out of this lonely rut. How do you keep your head up and just keep going? What keeps you on track?
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Replies
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Don't be so hard on yourself. You've had a set back but can fix this!
Here's what has helped me personally-
Don't be so strict - its a set up for failure! For long term success, pick a way of eating that is sustainable. I couldn't last on a LC diet, juicing, vlcd , so instead I have chosen moderation.
I eat a well balanced diet that includes treats. Instead of eating an entire cake, I have one serving ( or 2 if I have extra cals ) I use portion control and moderation. Not deprivation.
If I had to go on not having foods that I loved, I wouldn't make it long. So instead I've learned moderation so I can include these things into my day.
I lost all my weight and kept it off while still having ice cream daily ( one or two servings, not the entire gallon )
Lastly, I kept in mind that weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as I eat at a deficit, I knew I would lose weight. There's no need to over complicate things when first starting out. After that, I made sure I hit my macros daily ( but that was way after I sorted out the calorie deficit thing and learned about how to weigh my foods properly on a food scale and logging accurately. The food scale is a very important tool ) I was still able to work my treats in , even while eating at a deficit and hitting my macros.
If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine. Maybe it will help somebody else lurking this thread , but that's what helped me have long term success. I have maintained my goal weight of 135lbs 5'8 tall for @ 2.5 yrs now .,0 -
thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so hard on yourself. You've had a set back but can fix this!
Here's what has helped me personally-
Don't be so strict - its a set up for failure! For long term success, pick a way of eating that is sustainable. I couldn't last on a LC diet, juicing, vlcd , so instead I have chosen moderation.
I eat a well balanced diet that includes treats. Instead of eating an entire cake, I have one serving ( or 2 if I have extra cals ) I use portion control and moderation. Not deprivation.
If I had to go on not having foods that I loved, I wouldn't make it long. So instead I've learned moderation so I can include these things into my day.
I lost all my weight and kept it off while still having ice cream daily ( one or two servings, not the entire gallon )
Lastly, I kept in mind that weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as I eat at a deficit, I knew I would lose weight. There's no need to over complicate things when first starting out. After that, I made sure I hit my macros daily ( but that was way after I sorted out the calorie deficit thing and learned about how to weigh my foods properly on a food scale and logging accurately. The food scale is a very important tool ) I was still able to work my treats in , even while eating at a deficit and hitting my macros.
If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine. Maybe it will help somebody else lurking this thread , but that's what helped me have long term success. I have maintained my goal weight of 135lbs 5'8 tall for @ 2.5 yrs now .,
Excellent advice. I needed to read this:)
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Thank you. Good points!0
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thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so hard on yourself. You've had a set back but can fix this!
Here's what has helped me personally-
Don't be so strict - its a set up for failure! For long term success, pick a way of eating that is sustainable. I couldn't last on a LC diet, juicing, vlcd , so instead I have chosen moderation.
I eat a well balanced diet that includes treats. Instead of eating an entire cake, I have one serving ( or 2 if I have extra cals ) I use portion control and moderation. Not deprivation.
If I had to go on not having foods that I loved, I wouldn't make it long. So instead I've learned moderation so I can include these things into my day.
I lost all my weight and kept it off while still having ice cream daily ( one or two servings, not the entire gallon )
Lastly, I kept in mind that weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as I eat at a deficit, I knew I would lose weight. There's no need to over complicate things when first starting out. After that, I made sure I hit my macros daily ( but that was way after I sorted out the calorie deficit thing and learned about how to weigh my foods properly on a food scale and logging accurately. The food scale is a very important tool ) I was still able to work my treats in , even while eating at a deficit and hitting my macros.
If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine. Maybe it will help somebody else lurking this thread , but that's what helped me have long term success. I have maintained my goal weight of 135lbs 5'8 tall for @ 2.5 yrs now .,
All of this 1000%0 -
^^Don't be so hard on yourself!
Rome was not built in a day.
If you hit a plateau when you are 10, 20, 30 pounds down, remind yourself that you are still healthier than you were. Even if you stay at that plateau for a year or two, you still achieved that!
What is helping me is just trying to remind myself to try to consistently make better choices. Don't throw yourself down the steps just because you slipped. Just get up and take another step!0 -
I agree. I just need to keep that in mind. I guess I keep looking at the past and re-disappointing myself instead of moving forward.0
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Love all the great advice ...... in fact, I'm adding some of it to MY daily routine.
Make healthy choices at each meal ...... and move more each day.
It will happen
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thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so hard on yourself. You've had a set back but can fix this!
Here's what has helped me personally-
Don't be so strict - its a set up for failure! For long term success, pick a way of eating that is sustainable. I couldn't last on a LC diet, juicing, vlcd , so instead I have chosen moderation.
I eat a well balanced diet that includes treats. Instead of eating an entire cake, I have one serving ( or 2 if I have extra cals ) I use portion control and moderation. Not deprivation.
If I had to go on not having foods that I loved, I wouldn't make it long. So instead I've learned moderation so I can include these things into my day.
I lost all my weight and kept it off while still having ice cream daily ( one or two servings, not the entire gallon )
Lastly, I kept in mind that weight loss comes from a calorie deficit. As long as I eat at a deficit, I knew I would lose weight. There's no need to over complicate things when first starting out. After that, I made sure I hit my macros daily ( but that was way after I sorted out the calorie deficit thing and learned about how to weigh my foods properly on a food scale and logging accurately. The food scale is a very important tool ) I was still able to work my treats in , even while eating at a deficit and hitting my macros.
If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine. Maybe it will help somebody else lurking this thread , but that's what helped me have long term success. I have maintained my goal weight of 135lbs 5'8 tall for @ 2.5 yrs now .,
All of this 1000%
YESSSSS. Totally this. Don't deprive yourself; that's SO important. Good luck! You can totally do this. You've had a setback, but you've got the whole rest of your life ahead of you to set it right and keep on doing it right.0 -
You guys have really helped me out here. I have recently been pushing to lose the weight I gained back off again, and I've succeeded in doing this. But sometimes in the middle of the night, I'm absolutely famished! I avoid night snacking...but I hate feeling so hungry!0
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One day at a time, one pound at a time. Drink lots of water to ward of the late night cravings.0
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My advice is make one tiny little change that you think you can stick with that will help meet your calorie deficit. My first one was stop eating after 7:30 pm, next I took out added sugar, next I added more veggies..those things have helped me control my calories, but they took 4 months before they were a habit, ugh! There was no way I could do all at once0
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You can do this!! Do it the right way by eating the right foods, exercising and logging everyday. You can do this!!!!0
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First of all, treat yourself at least as well as your best friend.
Then, look at this weight loss enterprise as something new, not a repeat.0 -
Keep logging. No matter what, keep logging. If you go over, acknowledge it, log it, and move on. Remember that EVERYONE screws up. We all have off days, unexpected dinners out, celebrations and holidays, and days we just don't give a crap. If you go over one day, just log it and start fresh the next. Going over doesn't make you a failure, just makes you human. Took me a LONG time to learn that, but it makes it much easier to not give up once I did!
Also, it's ok to start slow. Look at it this way: you're not going on a 'diet', you're learning to change your eating habits to lose weight and KEEP it off. You want your eating habits to be sustainable, so don't go about cutting out foods you love. Figure out what a single serving is, and just have that. It's hard, and honestly, I still have trouble. Which is why some foods aren't allowed in my house unless they're single serving size! ^_^; Identify your patterns, things you need to change, and work on slowly changing them. It's ok to start with one thing at a time and build on it. This does not have to be an all-or-nothing process!0 -
You cannot see this as short-term ... This whole process is a change of lifestyle rather than a diet. You proved to yourself you can do this, so do it again, but this time concentrate on changing your lifestyle, not how much weight you have to loose. The faster you shed weight the faster you will put it on as well. Small steps provides consistent result, as long as you stick with it. Set achievable goals with rewards, and change routines, otherwise you get bored and fall back into old habits again0
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Great advice throughout the comments, but I would add one more thing: creating fitness goals. When I hit my first plateau, being able to focus on something other than a static number on a scale helped keep me driving forward. Back then, my goals were simple; to walk x miles in a month and gradually stepping up that number. I liked the challenge and my fitness levels continued to increase (to the point that I just ran my first 10k last week). Seeing the scale stall is frustrating, having something else to focus on and being able to see progress outside that number can be very motivating. Good luck!0
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Be kind to yourself. No one is perfect. I've logged most of the past year and actually gained 10lbs. Mostly because I suck at weekends and had an injury that limited my exercise. I'm getting back on track now. Maybe take a little more time to lose it this time. 33lbs in 4 months is quite a lot. It would be hard to sustain that rate of loss for more than a couple of months and you might feel like you were failing if you couldn't keep it up.0
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Here is a saying that I nabbed from one of my MFP friends a while back that may help.... Your past dictates who you are today. But it does not have to dictate who you will be tomorrow. the only thing stopping you from being the person you dream of being is a simple choice. Make the choice to be that person. Meaning you may have put the weight back on... but you gotta stick with it.. just because you put on feel like a failure does not mean you are and you gotta get your mind back on getting active, watching what you eat .. and it will come. Just keep focusing on what it is going to be and not so much on what it was or has been.0
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What is making all the difference for me this time after a lifetime of yo-yoing is the motivation – it is not just about the size I am or what I look like. Now that I am in middle age, I realize that I do not want to be limited by my body as I get older. I want to live as active and vibrantly as possible for as long as possible. If I take better care of myself, it's going to put the odds in my favor.
Having been suffering through a plateau that has lasted over three months after having lost 100 pounds, I think I am a good authority on this. I am NOT giving up because I do not want to go back to how things were ever again. It might be taking me a long time to get all the weight I want to off (I have another 100 to go), but whatever – it is not a race. The slower it comes off, the more likely it will stay off. If I keep practicing new and better habits, the more likely they will stick and become just how I operate. I've been at this now for a year and a half, the longest I've gone without giving up, so I know that I have it in me to continue to do good for myself.
And I just really, really want it.
I've been trying to look at this plateau as practice for maintenance. That's pretty cool – a real game-changer for me.
What happens when you give up? You go back to how you were, which obviously didn't make you happy. And then you feel worse because you gave up. If you keep trying, you'll end up where you are, OR BETTER. Which fork in the road do I want to take? The road to better. Always.0 -
You just do it! Personally, I believe if you lose too quickly, you don't learn the lifestyle change that's needed to keep it off. Set yourself up for success, by setting a moderate deficit and don't over restrict yourself. You've got this!0
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