Still seeing myself heavy.

JamalIgle
JamalIgle Posts: 55 Member
in Motivation and Support
It dawned on me a few days ago that in spite of knowing consciously that I'm not the same size I was, I still occasionally think of myself as being larger.
Having been overweight for the past 20 years, you learn to navigate the world a certain way. You're always trying to be aware of how much space you take up in any given situation. My weight loss journey has been impactful. I've gone from wearing a 3x to a medium in under 2 years. It's been dramatic for the people who've known me casually ( I've literally walked past people I've known for a decade and had them not recognize me. ) and have only known me since my weight gain post college. Yet, I still operate like Simone who doesn't workout six days a week, runs 5 and a half miles a day and walks constantly. I haven't adjusted to the new "me" yet. I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through these feelings.

Replies

  • JamalIgle
    JamalIgle Posts: 55 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Just to give you guys a point of reference.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Looking at the before and after photos helps. I still find myself going toward the handicap stall in the bathroom because I had trouble fitting in the normal ones. It takes time and constantly reminding yourself that that was the old you.
  • nicjbar73
    nicjbar73 Posts: 47 Member
    WOW!!! great job;) it takes the mind some time to catch up! especially if u were this way for a long time. give urself time & be patient. we all go through this;)
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    You didn't say how long you have been at your current weight. When I lost 68 pounds, it took some time for me to see myself as a thinner person. Clothes shopping was stressful, I felt like a fraud looking at the smaller sizes, as if at anytime a sales person would come up and say "oh honey, you're not that size, let me show you some larger sizes".

    I guess it took about a year for my brain to catch up to what my body really was.
  • nikesandbows
    nikesandbows Posts: 38 Member
    I think that its part of the process. I used to be a 18w (wide) in pants and a 1x in shirts at 234lbs. It took me a year and a half to get to a size 9 (approx 9inches off my hips) and a size medium shirt. I still see myself as "the fat girl" even though a few months ago I was in the best shape of my life (hip injury and now Mono....).

    You look amazing! Embrace it :) and when you feel like you haven't come far or you're not making progress, look at the photos. If you are still trying to lose or build muscle take photos every week or two and see how you are progressing :) I hate the scale. Pictures always work best.

    And don't let your head get to you.

    JamalIgle wrote: »
    It dawned on me a few days ago that in spite of knowing consciously that I'm not the same size I was, I still occasionally think of myself as being larger.
    Having been overweight for the past 20 years, you learn to navigate the world a certain way. You're always trying to be aware of how much space you take up in any given situation. My weight loss journey has been impactful. I've gone from wearing a 3x to a medium in under 2 years. It's been dramatic for the people who've known me casually ( I've literally walked past people I've known for a decade and had them not recognize me. ) and have only known me since my weight gain post college. Yet, I still operate like Simone who doesn't workout six days a week, runs 5 and a half miles a day and walks constantly. I haven't adjusted to the new "me" yet. I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through these feelings.

  • BekahC1980
    BekahC1980 Posts: 474 Member
    Yes but I can tell you having a side by side picture hanging somewhere helps remind me.



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  • chatterbox3110
    chatterbox3110 Posts: 630 Member
    The mind is the last part of you to accept the changes.

    Just take a look at my profile picture, I've lost 157lbs so far, yet I still see myself as the person on the left side, not the person jumping for joy on a trampoline because I can!

    Acceptance will come in time, just keep on doing what you're doing :)
  • Jg04811
    Jg04811 Posts: 102 Member
    I have lost 205 pounds and I am still struggling with this. I see a big blob and how much further I still have. I hope with time it will get better. I went from a 4x to a size 12 and a 3x top to a medium.
  • MeiannaLee
    MeiannaLee Posts: 338 Member
    It gets better. I woke up one day and it just clicked that I was 50 pounds lighter and that I was acually thin. It took about four months for me to acknowledge that I had acually did it
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I can relate to this. I've been in the process of losing ~130 lb for about 6 years now and maintaining for the past year and I feel like I've pretty well adjusted to my new body size but sometimes I still have "those moments" and it's totally weird. I still think booths are going to be a snug fit and they never are.

    Last week I had a very dysphoric moment at a concert when I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror of the restroom (seriously). It was like I expected to see Rosie O'Donnell in the mirror, and instead it was Marlo Thomas in "That Girl" and I just didn't get it. How was it me?!

    I also had a weird moment in a restaurant seated next to glass at night so I could see my reflection and I kept thinking there was some kind of optical illusion making my body look leaner than I am. When I look down at my belly fat it still looks big to me, so seeing it from different angles confuses me. It's good mostly...but very very weird, still.
  • bearondiet
    bearondiet Posts: 53 Member
    I don't think I am fat or heavy, but I want to get the last few pounds out. I want to control the contour.
  • barryplumber
    barryplumber Posts: 401 Member
    Congrats man you did an awesome job be proud of yourself and flaunt it. I lost 70 lbs now just wish i could shrink my skin
  • JamalIgle
    JamalIgle Posts: 55 Member
    sun_fish wrote: »
    You didn't say how long you have been at your current weight. When I lost 68 pounds, it took some time for me to see myself as a thinner person. Clothes shopping was stressful, I felt like a fraud looking at the smaller sizes, as if at anytime a sales person would come up and say "oh honey, you're not that size, let me show you some larger sizes".

    I guess it took about a year for my brain to catch up to what my body really was.
    I've been hovering between 188-195 for about four months and started maintanece about a month ago.
  • JamalIgle
    JamalIgle Posts: 55 Member
    I appreciate everyone's responses. I think you're right, the mental is taking its time. I've experienced all of the things you've talked about. The clothing thing, I'd gotten so used to buying baggy clothes that I'm shocked when stuff fits properly. The first time I sat on a plane and didn't feel like I had to "pull myself in" or pray the belt would fit without an extender I was ecstatic. Still, I worry about maintaining and losing what I've gained.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    I'm still losing, but I get those moments every now and then. A week or so ago I sat in a theater and thought "oh, they installed larger seats! These are a lot more comfortable" and then I realized what the difference actually was.
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    JamalIgle wrote: »
    sun_fish wrote: »
    You didn't say how long you have been at your current weight. When I lost 68 pounds, it took some time for me to see myself as a thinner person. Clothes shopping was stressful, I felt like a fraud looking at the smaller sizes, as if at anytime a sales person would come up and say "oh honey, you're not that size, let me show you some larger sizes".

    I guess it took about a year for my brain to catch up to what my body really was.
    I've been hovering between 188-195 for about four months and started maintanece about a month ago.

    Yep - just give it some time. You'll get there. Congrats on your loss.

  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    I can totally relate to the OP's feelings. When I get back to school after a forced break, I might have to go back into counseling like I was on in the beginning of this journey (originally due to knowledge that fatness is mostly all in the head) and let the therapist help me develop a "thinner mind" before I get addicted to weight loss and become too thin!
  • JamalIgle
    JamalIgle Posts: 55 Member
    sun_fish wrote: »
    JamalIgle wrote: »
    sun_fish wrote: »
    You didn't say how long you have been at your current weight. When I lost 68 pounds, it took some time for me to see myself as a thinner person. Clothes shopping was stressful, I felt like a fraud looking at the smaller sizes, as if at anytime a sales person would come up and say "oh honey, you're not that size, let me show you some larger sizes".

    I guess it took about a year for my brain to catch up to what my body really was.
    I've been hovering between 188-195 for about four months and started maintanece about a month ago.

    Yep - just give it some time. You'll get there. Congrats on your loss.
    Thanks.

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