Trouble in Paradis!

Jesslynn3282
Jesslynn3282 Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
Lately I've been feeling some what alone in this whole diet thing. I originally signed up to get myself back into shape health wise so I could start trying to have a family. I'm recently married ( 7 months ).....Now I think I am doing it to help save my new marriage... My husband doesn't seem to be " into " our marriage anymore....and I'm starting to feel like it maybe because of me and how I've gained some weight since I've met him and he's just not that into me anymore. Does anyone else feel like this? I've talked to him about it and he says that he is into the marriage and says I'm just thinking crazy....but he isn't lets say intimate with me...and it is starting to take a toll on me...Lately I've been focusing on me and I've been happy I am logging things accurate and working out and finally seeing the scale drop ....but is anyone else doing this whole life changing stuff to save their marriage? Has anyone here used this as a reason to really focus on getting healthy? What was the outcome?

Replies

  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
    Just a question, are you absolutely sure it's you? Occasionally I feel like my husband is becoming distant, but if we talk about it we usually realize that we've just been really busy, or really stressed out, and he didn't realize that he wasn't giving me the attention he normally does, and things generally go back to normal.

    As far as him not wanting to be intimate as much, that could also be due to stress or a busy life or any number of things. Could even be medical on his end. Since your marriage is relatively new, I doubt he suddenly went from liking you the way you were, to not wanting you at all. I would guess that it might be something else. Has anything else changed in your lives?

    I would tell you to get healthy for yourself first and foremost, and not for your husband. I would also have a talk with him, and see if something else is going on.
  • fireball1970
    fireball1970 Posts: 38 Member
    The first year of marriage is so tough. The newness has worn off & you are settling in for the rest of your life. I don't think there is a simple answer, but I do think communication is key. If you feel like you aren't having sex enough that is a VERY delicate subject so tread lightly!!!! Good Luck
  • rtp_slg52181
    rtp_slg52181 Posts: 73 Member
    Is it possible you are the one putting out the don't be intimate with me signs?

    I know when I was 190 I thought my husband was ignoring me physically but as I became more confidant in my ability to change I found we were more intimate.

    After I hit goal I asked him about it and he said it wasn't that he didn't want me, it was that I was always shutting him down and killing the mood by being self absorbed and unhappy in my own skin. He didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable so he backed off till I was more receptive to his advances.
  • Jesslynn3282
    Jesslynn3282 Posts: 53 Member
    Thanks everyone. I have tried talking to him about it but he just gets upset with me, so I've given up with that lol. He is always stressed out at work so maybe it is due to that. I guess it just makes me feel more so insecure but I think that is actually what is pushing me towards fitness and health goals....just hope once I've reached my goals things change so I can actually feel better ;-)

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