Discouraged about how much I have to lose...

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13

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  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    edited November 2015
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    It's an overwhelming process when you're just beginning. I started in June 2013. I'm 5'2 and was 211 lbs. Extremely obese for my height. I was at my rock bottom and depressed. My weight was affecting the continuing of my family (I wanted a 2nd child and my daughter was already 5 at the time). I couldn't even carry the laundry up from the basement without getting tired and out of breath.

    Really, I just had to commit and as Dory from Finding Nemo says "Keep on swimming." I had to completely change my views. I lowered my expectations for weight loss. Instead of going balls to the wall and having an all or nothing attitude, I had to change my expectations to slow and sustainable. I realized, that even if it took me 2+ years, I still had to live those 2+ years, I might as well live in a way that would lead me to being happier.

    So I did all of that and by April 2014 I was 57 lbs down and I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter. I continued to log my intake, gained a healthy amount and delivered her in January. From there I've worked hard on losing the pregnancy weight and I've even lost an additional 17 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm now down 74 lbs. I'm 2 1/2 lbs away from a healthy BMI and still want to lose another 23-28 lbs.

    I WILL get there. It takes time and patience but it's so worth it.

    Also, instead of thinking about how far you have to go, focus on how far you've come. Those 1 or 2 lbs lost this week will snowball and turn into 10 lbs, and 20 lbs, and 30 lbs. Then before you know it, those 2 years will have come and gone and you'll be exactly where you want to be.

    ETA: I've never been thin my entire adult life either. The last time I was thin was when I was 11 and I started emotionally eating after my grandmother passed away on my birthday. Now, I guess I could consider myself thin. I'm wearing a size 6 pants all the way down from a size 16. It can be done. It just takes commitment and dedication.
  • tracie_minus100
    tracie_minus100 Posts: 465 Member
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    The time is going to pass no matter what, so why not spend it getting healthy? It's tough when you have a lot to lose...I started out needing to lose 104lbs to get to a healthy BMI. It's daunting, it's intimidating. But what's the alternative? You stay the way you are, or perhaps get bigger even. Try breaking it up into smaller goals. My weight loss has been in 25lb goal chunks, which helped. I'm down 88lbs now...it can be done!
    Best of luck. :)
  • rosnigetsfit
    rosnigetsfit Posts: 569 Member
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    Don't focus too much on how many pounds you have to lose. You should focus on 1 pound at a time. The pounds will add up eventually.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    I can relate to the feeling of thinking how overwhelming it is that I'll have to live healthy for the rest of my life...watching what I eat, getting exercise, etc...but I'm finding that making progress toward my goal...seeing the scale move down, my clothes getting too big, it helps me snap out of that mindset. I guess it's to say that if you simply start...you start seeing some small progress, it acts as a catalyst for motivation...at least it has for me. It's really helped me not get so lost in OMG how can I do this forever...
  • fruitydelicious
    fruitydelicious Posts: 664 Member
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    I am 44, & struggled with weight since my first emotional connection to food (age 7, buttered toast with lots of sugar). Yes, I remember that first moment when food eased my loneliness.

    DECIDE today that you are totally worth all the hard work and struggle it is to be healthy.

    DECIDE today that you will no longer have the option to give up on yourself.

    DECIDE today that the past is in the past and you are not going to let it interfer with the future healthy you.

    Please don't wait, do it now, while you are young.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Mini goals woman! Just start and before you know it, you'll be there. Look in the success stories, the results are amazing. You've got this!
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    edited November 2015
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    I sent you a friend request.

    I had 75 lbs. to lose about 11 months ago, and now I only have 20 lbs. to go. So in less than a year, I have lost 55 lbs.

    What worked for me is walking, walking, walking, and more walking. When I first started, I had to lay down for an hour after walking a mile at a slow pace. Feet killing me, heart pounding, lungs ready to turn inside out, knees hurting, feet hurting, shins hurting, hips hurting, and thinking to myself... PLEASE GOD!!! SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!! But I kept going, and it got much easier, so I kept going some more. Now I power walk 7 days a week for 30 to 90 minutes per day at a 4 to 4.5 mph pace. It has become such a habit, that I can't NOT do it now. I feel sooooooooooooo much better than I used to, and actually eat more each day because I burn so many calories walking.

    Unfortunately nature happens slowly, but if you have patients and stick with a plan that works, you WILL reach your goal. But YOU are the one who has to make it happen.
  • pdxwine
    pdxwine Posts: 389 Member
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    One step at a time, is truly it. Do not look at the total you need to lose. Focus on that next pound, rather than the next 20.

    I was very thin, then gained a lot of weight. I am close to being thin again. Trust me, thin feels great.

    Stay focused on you. Stay focused on losing the smart, slow, steady way. You will be far more successful when you do it the right way.

    You can do it, and you have a lot of support here. We know that you can do it. :smile:
  • mischief7979
    mischief7979 Posts: 3 Member
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    I am also feeling overwhelmed and I am taking it one day at a time one pound at a time . This has taken some of the pressure off.
  • OneHundredToLose
    OneHundredToLose Posts: 8,534 Member
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    Never feel shame over doing the right thing. I'm also here to lose an amount of weight that might seem crazy to some people. However, millions of people have already done what I am trying to do, and tens (if not hundreds) of thousands have already lost an amount that makes me look skinny in comparison.

    Ultimately, you will succeed or fail based solely on how much you want it. If you're anything like me, failure is not an option.

    So what if it takes 2 years? If you don't do it, 2 years from now you'll look back and hate yourself for not starting now. You can do this.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    I've been at this for ~18 months now. You really do just have to take it one day at a time.

    Set daily goals. Start with one at first. A great starting one is "eat within my calorie goal". If you finish the day and you hit your goal, celebrate! I use an app called "way of life" and if I hit my goal for the day, I mark it green. It's the adult version of a sticker. If you don't hit your goal that day, it's ok. You have another chance tomorrow.

    Add more goals when you feel like you have a good handle on the ones you are already doing. Like I said, I've been doing this for 18 months and I still only have 4 goals a day:
    1: stay within my calorie limit
    2: do my best to hit my nutritional goals
    3: do my step goals (Fitbit)
    4: do my workout (or rest)

    It gives you something to focus on that you can control. You can't control the number that pops up on the scale. That is an effect of your behaviors. Focusing on the behavior is what is within your control. Over time you can look at the scale numbers to check if you need to adjust your behaviors.

    Focusing on behavior and daily goals are how you build new habits. This will take a lot of mental energy in the beginning. But the good news is that it gets easier over time. It takes a lot less mental energy to hit your goals consistently because they have become habits. Now, it's rare for me to not end the day with all "greens" for my goals.

    At this point, all I can do is give it time. I have some days that I don't reach my goals, and that's ok. I can try again tomorrow. Now that I've built these habits into my life, I can focus on other things while I wait. This year I learned how to sew. I still lost weight, but I didn't need to focus all of my energy on it because the behavior that causes the weight loss is part of my routine.

    Summary: pick one goal and put your energy into hitting that goal everyday. When you feel you've got it down, you can start adding in others. Take it one day at a time. Do your best today, it's the only day you can do anything about right now.
  • mxchana
    mxchana Posts: 666 Member
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    By starting now to make small, doable changes, you CAN lose the weight and keep it off. Find what works for you, that you can keep doing as a lifestyle for the long haul. Start slowly and keep going no matter what.

    Persistence... not perfection... pays off.
  • allaboutthefood
    allaboutthefood Posts: 781 Member
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    What worked for me, was instead of putting all the weight I have to loss down, I did 10 lbs at a time, until that overwhelmed feeling left. I plan and log all my meals a day in advance, this helps staying on track and also helps my pocket book. At first I started with 30 minutes of activity and moved up from there. The beachbody mom on youtube is amazing, free and she has so many low impact workouts. I started loving myself, telling myself that I do matter and I am worth this and yes it's going to be hard work, but so worth it. I started at 295 lbs eight months ago and now down to 235 lbs. I sleep better, walk better, feel better and love better. YOU CAN DO THIS.
  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Yes sometimes it can seem daunting. I started with 125 pounds to lose. I started in April and I'm already half way there. Just get started. Time is going to pass no matter what you do. So a year from now just think about how much you could be down by that point. Trust me you'll feel a lot better about it and then it won't feel so daunting after all.
  • ditsyblond17
    ditsyblond17 Posts: 155 Member
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    I don't know if everyone will read this, but I just wanted to thank every last one of you!

    I come online today to find 16 new friend requests! All of you are truly amazing. Thank you so so so much for believing when I had no one else. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

    I'd like to share something I think may help a lot of people. This has helped me today,

    I cried myself to sleep last night. And it's because I felt hopeless. I talked to my fiance (who is also over weight, but refuses to do anything about it.) I told him the reason I was so hopeless. No, it wasn't because he was keeping me down, but it's because I THOUGHT his intentions were to keep me down. Let me elaborate. I felt as if when I lost a significant amount of weight, he was going to become jealous of me. And resentment would ensue. I also felt, that he would become depressed and hate me. Eventually we would both become bitter. The weird part is, I never even knew that I was thinking this for years. In fact, if it hadn't been for my sleep deprivation and depressive thoughts, I would have never even shared it out loud. The honest truth is, I've done this my whole life! I'm 26 and I've protected my overweight mother because I saw she could never lose weight. Even after surgery...she never lost weight. And I did this my entire life. I stayed fat, because I thought I had to! To protect her from resentment towards me! I stayed fat, in order to prevent people from hating me for doing something they couldn't do! I've known my whole life something was different in me, and now I know what it is. I'm a fighter. I will not lay down and accept defeat. I'm different than my fiance and mother in that way. But the buck stops here. I can no longer tell myself to stay ugly, miserable, depressed and unhealthy to keep everyone else from looking at their own lifestyle habits. I can no longer protect others by killing myself! I can't do it.

    I just came to this realization today. If you are like me, and have used your weight to not only protect yourself, but protect others from hating you or sabatoging your efforts, maybe my story will help you. Maybe once you see this sick, twisted thought process, you will be able to change it.

    This all happened last night. Knowledge is power. And once I realized why I was scared to lose weight, I now realize nothing can stop me. I'm a fighter. I just want to thank everyone for the overwhelming support. God bless every last one of you. We can do this. I'm not afraid anymore.
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
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    you can do this! I look forward to sharing your journey :)
  • mylittlerainbow
    mylittlerainbow Posts: 822 Member
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    WBB55 wrote: »
    I'm the only "thin" person in my obese family. Exercise makes the difference in my gene pool (not like killing yourself at the gym, but just being active overall). But eating also contributes. I didn't have quite the same amount to lose as you, but here's what I wanted to share.

    I am, too. And it's hard looking at my mother, brother, and sister (and having them already think I'm thin!) and wondering how to win this battle with my genes and programmed lifestyle. I agree that you take one day at a time in small increments and look forward to a long, healthy lifetime with the new habits you'll be starting now. It seems overwhelming if you look too far ahead, as others have said.
  • themuffinjanmfp
    themuffinjanmfp Posts: 1 Member
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    I am also recently starting out and have about 80 pounds to lose at least. Its very discouraging, especially as I have been 10 lbs away from my goal weight and gained back. I am doing something different this time. Eating within my caloric deficit and weight lifting 6 days a week. I am determined to not only lose weight but also make lasting changes. I want to be stronger, more agile, faster, and be able to do just... more! I'm sick of always being sick and tired. So I'm fixing it myself! We can do this!
  • njk0215
    njk0215 Posts: 10 Member
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    You don't have to completely flip your life upside down, just aim for small sustainable changes and habits. You don't have to give up all the foods you enjoy either. Know that you can still enjoy them but work on doing so in moderation and in line with your calorie and fitness goals. Good luck on your journey :)
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Please don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed about, lovely girl.

    I know how hard the 'one day at a time' mentality can be. It's all very well us saying "Don't worry about it" but I know it can be easier said than done. What you need to do when things get tough is take some deep breaths, remind yourself calmly of why you are travelling this path and doing what you are doing. Then, envision your goal, envision yourself and your quality of life in a years time. Breathe. You can do this.

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