Discouraged about how much I have to lose...
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Don't think of it as such a big deal. Break it down into much smaller, achievable goals. Set your MFP account up to lose 1lb a week and just make it your aim to log consistently and reach your calorie goal each day. I lost my initial 100lbs just by doing that alone. I didn't even consider exercise until I'd lost that first 100lbs. The longer you stick at it, the easier it gets. I never thought I'd do it, but I'm almost 140lbs down and about 30lbs away from my new target weight. I never, ever thought I'd be able to do it.
That being said, I had to get my depression under control and be in a place where mentally, I could start caring about myself, before I could lose the weight.0 -
Start where you are. Start small. Set some mini goals & give yourself small rewards along the way. Don't give away even one more day of your new life!0
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Don't start until you're ready and want to do it. Not "want to be thin" - all fat people want that! I mean that you should wait until you WANT to do the hard work of losing weight and don't care how long you'll have to do it because you intend to be thin. "If it's going to take two years, then it'll take two years. Fine. Whatever. I'm doing this." That will be your thought process.
People always do what they're most motivated to do, so if you don't want to do the hard work of losing, you won't. There is no point to going at it half-heartedly and then blaming yourself for not doing the thing you didn't really want to do in the first place. That's just you being too hard on yourself. It's not sensible or fair to you, so don't do that.
When you really WANT to do the hard work of losing weight, nothing will stop you. You'll just start doing it. And you'll be successful. Until that time comes, don't worry about it. And enjoy whatever you eat!
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I want to add something that I don't think has been covered. You're going to see real benefits long before goal. Don't think about the total number. Honestly, while some would disagree, you don't have to ever hit the ideal number you may be thinking of now to make a significant difference in your health. Real science shows risk reduction with as little as 5-10% of your body weight lost. Walking daily also cuts your risks down. The little things add up, so don't get overwhelmed. You can make a big difference by small changes.
You will feel better and find a number of small NSVs along the way. Clothes, comfort, endurance, abilities, fitting into certain spaces, lab numbers like blood sugar and pressure and cholesterol if those are a problem currently, back pain, knee pain, etc. I began having subjective and measurable, medical differences (blood pressure) after just 15 pounds.
As for feeling thin, I've been my version of thin (size 12 @ 5'10") and every size above that up to 32 and 5x. I have discovered that I am the same person with the same problems. I just have more fashionable clothes, better aerobic health, a lot more comfort (it's just impossible to be comfortable in a big body - always feeling hot and squished and heavy), and less social anxiety at the smaller end of that range, but that doesn't automatically translate into a better life or relationships or overall mental health. That's a concept that I think a lot of people don't understand. They look at before photos and say that they don't know that person or they have said farewell to that person. I always get a kick out of that.0 -
If you're terrified at doing it hardcore for two years. You don't necessarily have to do it hardcore, though. The changes you make will add up. Try to make them sustainable, don't overwhelm yourself0
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I started keeping track of my intake on April 19th of this year. In that time I've managed to get rid of 48.6 pounds. I still have about 88 left to get into the healthy range. Not sure what my ultimate goal will be yet, but right now I'm taking it one week at a time. I already feel SO much better than I did in April. My only regret is that I didn't do this years ago! I'm 41, and I have wasted much of my youth being unhealthy, uncomfortable, and unhappy with myself. I'm done with that and am looking forward to seeing where I am when I turn 42 next August.
You CAN do this. It may take you a few (or a lot) of starts to get the hang of things, but you will get there. Don't look at the Big Picture; look at the Right Now. Start by making changes you can live with. Don't restrict so far that you feel miserable and are more likely to quit. You could start by finding your maintenance and doing that, just until you get the hang of it. Then when you're comfortable with the process, set it to lose a pound a week. Eventually you'll find the level that's comfortable for you to lose long-term without feeling deprived.
Exercise is important for health, but if you cannot yet, do not worry about it! At my heaviest I would get winded just walking three houses down to the mailbox. Losing weight just by tracking and caloric deficit for the first couple of months helped me to be able to start walking. I began by going around the block once. Then I was able to do a half mile. I kept increasing by going just far enough to feel the effort, but not so much that I wanted to give up. October 1st my husband and I walked from my house to my mom's - 5.27 miles - to pre-burn the calories I wanted to indulge in once there. When I got there I felt like I could have walked back! Glad we didn't; there's no way I could have. LOL Of course, the walk burned about 1000 calories and the sourdough pancakes and fresh fruit I had were only 310, but hey. I got to indulge a little all day long and was still at a good deficit for the day.
Anyway, to make a long story short (too late?), it is possible to go down this road. You can do it. We believe in you!0 -
When you lose your first twenty pounds you will feel so much better.
Lose 30% even better still.
Even if you don't get to "thin" any losses are going to help you.
I would be scared off "hardcore" for a year or more too so why not go soft core? Make a small change until it becomes a habit then make another change.
Stanford's Chronic Disease Self Management program (8 weeks) was so helpful. It taught me to pick an issue, troubleshoot a fix, try for a week and re-evaluate. It took all the feelings of guilt and fear of failure out of it. If your life isn't working right now, try a fix.
Or you can wait like you are fifty like I did.
Or you can gain health and mobility now, giving you years of vitality and enjoyment.0 -
No one ever climbs a mountain in one giant step, they do it the same way we all do anything: one step at a time.
I was too overwhelmed with the idea of needing to lose around 100 pounds, I simply couldn't fathom it, so I picked a goal at first that was easier for me to focus on.
I had, over the years, already implemented changes which made dieting relatively easy for me. These changes were in the form of healthy food choices and the like. The only new habits I had to learn were food portioning and exercise. I took those on one at a time and made them stick.
Then I got really hungry. I adopted some new habits (paying attention to macro partitioning for satiety, using slow, mindful eating to learn to listen to my body's hunger/fullness cues) at that point.
The thing about setting a goal to make a new habit, lose another 10 pounds, start a new exercise? Each time you achieve success in that endeavor, that little success gives you confidence to set another goal and the successes keep piling up and building on each other.... like steps on a path... until one day, you look behind you, and you realize you climbed a mountain by simply putting one foot in front of the other.0 -
The unknown can be scary. I don't remember being thin ever before either. I started with a goal of losing 10% of my body weight and have achieved that at least. Just focus on feeling as good as you can! Eating better and exercising makes you feel good, so embrace that.0
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OP i am 50 and lost over 100 lbs
I am doing fine. I am happy...but
you know my biggest regret is ....why didn't i do this years sooner!
Don't let that happen to you.
Just start, it will be one day at a time. And losing one pound after another. Maybe gain some ( fluctuations dont flip over it next day the sun is shining again )
Just start believe me...in a year you will be amazed and proud of what you have done and how far you came.
You will look back and think....peanuts....
Just start!
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It's an overwhelming process when you're just beginning. I started in June 2013. I'm 5'2 and was 211 lbs. Extremely obese for my height. I was at my rock bottom and depressed. My weight was affecting the continuing of my family (I wanted a 2nd child and my daughter was already 5 at the time). I couldn't even carry the laundry up from the basement without getting tired and out of breath.
Really, I just had to commit and as Dory from Finding Nemo says "Keep on swimming." I had to completely change my views. I lowered my expectations for weight loss. Instead of going balls to the wall and having an all or nothing attitude, I had to change my expectations to slow and sustainable. I realized, that even if it took me 2+ years, I still had to live those 2+ years, I might as well live in a way that would lead me to being happier.
So I did all of that and by April 2014 I was 57 lbs down and I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter. I continued to log my intake, gained a healthy amount and delivered her in January. From there I've worked hard on losing the pregnancy weight and I've even lost an additional 17 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm now down 74 lbs. I'm 2 1/2 lbs away from a healthy BMI and still want to lose another 23-28 lbs.
I WILL get there. It takes time and patience but it's so worth it.
Also, instead of thinking about how far you have to go, focus on how far you've come. Those 1 or 2 lbs lost this week will snowball and turn into 10 lbs, and 20 lbs, and 30 lbs. Then before you know it, those 2 years will have come and gone and you'll be exactly where you want to be.
ETA: I've never been thin my entire adult life either. The last time I was thin was when I was 11 and I started emotionally eating after my grandmother passed away on my birthday. Now, I guess I could consider myself thin. I'm wearing a size 6 pants all the way down from a size 16. It can be done. It just takes commitment and dedication.0 -
The time is going to pass no matter what, so why not spend it getting healthy? It's tough when you have a lot to lose...I started out needing to lose 104lbs to get to a healthy BMI. It's daunting, it's intimidating. But what's the alternative? You stay the way you are, or perhaps get bigger even. Try breaking it up into smaller goals. My weight loss has been in 25lb goal chunks, which helped. I'm down 88lbs now...it can be done!
Best of luck. 0 -
Don't focus too much on how many pounds you have to lose. You should focus on 1 pound at a time. The pounds will add up eventually.0
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I can relate to the feeling of thinking how overwhelming it is that I'll have to live healthy for the rest of my life...watching what I eat, getting exercise, etc...but I'm finding that making progress toward my goal...seeing the scale move down, my clothes getting too big, it helps me snap out of that mindset. I guess it's to say that if you simply start...you start seeing some small progress, it acts as a catalyst for motivation...at least it has for me. It's really helped me not get so lost in OMG how can I do this forever...0
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I am 44, & struggled with weight since my first emotional connection to food (age 7, buttered toast with lots of sugar). Yes, I remember that first moment when food eased my loneliness.
DECIDE today that you are totally worth all the hard work and struggle it is to be healthy.
DECIDE today that you will no longer have the option to give up on yourself.
DECIDE today that the past is in the past and you are not going to let it interfer with the future healthy you.
Please don't wait, do it now, while you are young.0 -
Mini goals woman! Just start and before you know it, you'll be there. Look in the success stories, the results are amazing. You've got this!0
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I sent you a friend request.
I had 75 lbs. to lose about 11 months ago, and now I only have 20 lbs. to go. So in less than a year, I have lost 55 lbs.
What worked for me is walking, walking, walking, and more walking. When I first started, I had to lay down for an hour after walking a mile at a slow pace. Feet killing me, heart pounding, lungs ready to turn inside out, knees hurting, feet hurting, shins hurting, hips hurting, and thinking to myself... PLEASE GOD!!! SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!! But I kept going, and it got much easier, so I kept going some more. Now I power walk 7 days a week for 30 to 90 minutes per day at a 4 to 4.5 mph pace. It has become such a habit, that I can't NOT do it now. I feel sooooooooooooo much better than I used to, and actually eat more each day because I burn so many calories walking.
Unfortunately nature happens slowly, but if you have patients and stick with a plan that works, you WILL reach your goal. But YOU are the one who has to make it happen.0 -
One step at a time, is truly it. Do not look at the total you need to lose. Focus on that next pound, rather than the next 20.
I was very thin, then gained a lot of weight. I am close to being thin again. Trust me, thin feels great.
Stay focused on you. Stay focused on losing the smart, slow, steady way. You will be far more successful when you do it the right way.
You can do it, and you have a lot of support here. We know that you can do it. 0 -
I am also feeling overwhelmed and I am taking it one day at a time one pound at a time . This has taken some of the pressure off.0
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Never feel shame over doing the right thing. I'm also here to lose an amount of weight that might seem crazy to some people. However, millions of people have already done what I am trying to do, and tens (if not hundreds) of thousands have already lost an amount that makes me look skinny in comparison.
Ultimately, you will succeed or fail based solely on how much you want it. If you're anything like me, failure is not an option.
So what if it takes 2 years? If you don't do it, 2 years from now you'll look back and hate yourself for not starting now. You can do this.0 -
I've been at this for ~18 months now. You really do just have to take it one day at a time.
Set daily goals. Start with one at first. A great starting one is "eat within my calorie goal". If you finish the day and you hit your goal, celebrate! I use an app called "way of life" and if I hit my goal for the day, I mark it green. It's the adult version of a sticker. If you don't hit your goal that day, it's ok. You have another chance tomorrow.
Add more goals when you feel like you have a good handle on the ones you are already doing. Like I said, I've been doing this for 18 months and I still only have 4 goals a day:
1: stay within my calorie limit
2: do my best to hit my nutritional goals
3: do my step goals (Fitbit)
4: do my workout (or rest)
It gives you something to focus on that you can control. You can't control the number that pops up on the scale. That is an effect of your behaviors. Focusing on the behavior is what is within your control. Over time you can look at the scale numbers to check if you need to adjust your behaviors.
Focusing on behavior and daily goals are how you build new habits. This will take a lot of mental energy in the beginning. But the good news is that it gets easier over time. It takes a lot less mental energy to hit your goals consistently because they have become habits. Now, it's rare for me to not end the day with all "greens" for my goals.
At this point, all I can do is give it time. I have some days that I don't reach my goals, and that's ok. I can try again tomorrow. Now that I've built these habits into my life, I can focus on other things while I wait. This year I learned how to sew. I still lost weight, but I didn't need to focus all of my energy on it because the behavior that causes the weight loss is part of my routine.
Summary: pick one goal and put your energy into hitting that goal everyday. When you feel you've got it down, you can start adding in others. Take it one day at a time. Do your best today, it's the only day you can do anything about right now.0 -
By starting now to make small, doable changes, you CAN lose the weight and keep it off. Find what works for you, that you can keep doing as a lifestyle for the long haul. Start slowly and keep going no matter what.
Persistence... not perfection... pays off.0 -
What worked for me, was instead of putting all the weight I have to loss down, I did 10 lbs at a time, until that overwhelmed feeling left. I plan and log all my meals a day in advance, this helps staying on track and also helps my pocket book. At first I started with 30 minutes of activity and moved up from there. The beachbody mom on youtube is amazing, free and she has so many low impact workouts. I started loving myself, telling myself that I do matter and I am worth this and yes it's going to be hard work, but so worth it. I started at 295 lbs eight months ago and now down to 235 lbs. I sleep better, walk better, feel better and love better. YOU CAN DO THIS.0
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Yes sometimes it can seem daunting. I started with 125 pounds to lose. I started in April and I'm already half way there. Just get started. Time is going to pass no matter what you do. So a year from now just think about how much you could be down by that point. Trust me you'll feel a lot better about it and then it won't feel so daunting after all.0
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I don't know if everyone will read this, but I just wanted to thank every last one of you!
I come online today to find 16 new friend requests! All of you are truly amazing. Thank you so so so much for believing when I had no one else. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
I'd like to share something I think may help a lot of people. This has helped me today,
I cried myself to sleep last night. And it's because I felt hopeless. I talked to my fiance (who is also over weight, but refuses to do anything about it.) I told him the reason I was so hopeless. No, it wasn't because he was keeping me down, but it's because I THOUGHT his intentions were to keep me down. Let me elaborate. I felt as if when I lost a significant amount of weight, he was going to become jealous of me. And resentment would ensue. I also felt, that he would become depressed and hate me. Eventually we would both become bitter. The weird part is, I never even knew that I was thinking this for years. In fact, if it hadn't been for my sleep deprivation and depressive thoughts, I would have never even shared it out loud. The honest truth is, I've done this my whole life! I'm 26 and I've protected my overweight mother because I saw she could never lose weight. Even after surgery...she never lost weight. And I did this my entire life. I stayed fat, because I thought I had to! To protect her from resentment towards me! I stayed fat, in order to prevent people from hating me for doing something they couldn't do! I've known my whole life something was different in me, and now I know what it is. I'm a fighter. I will not lay down and accept defeat. I'm different than my fiance and mother in that way. But the buck stops here. I can no longer tell myself to stay ugly, miserable, depressed and unhealthy to keep everyone else from looking at their own lifestyle habits. I can no longer protect others by killing myself! I can't do it.
I just came to this realization today. If you are like me, and have used your weight to not only protect yourself, but protect others from hating you or sabatoging your efforts, maybe my story will help you. Maybe once you see this sick, twisted thought process, you will be able to change it.
This all happened last night. Knowledge is power. And once I realized why I was scared to lose weight, I now realize nothing can stop me. I'm a fighter. I just want to thank everyone for the overwhelming support. God bless every last one of you. We can do this. I'm not afraid anymore.0 -
you can do this! I look forward to sharing your journey 0
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I'm the only "thin" person in my obese family. Exercise makes the difference in my gene pool (not like killing yourself at the gym, but just being active overall). But eating also contributes. I didn't have quite the same amount to lose as you, but here's what I wanted to share.
I am, too. And it's hard looking at my mother, brother, and sister (and having them already think I'm thin!) and wondering how to win this battle with my genes and programmed lifestyle. I agree that you take one day at a time in small increments and look forward to a long, healthy lifetime with the new habits you'll be starting now. It seems overwhelming if you look too far ahead, as others have said.0 -
I am also recently starting out and have about 80 pounds to lose at least. Its very discouraging, especially as I have been 10 lbs away from my goal weight and gained back. I am doing something different this time. Eating within my caloric deficit and weight lifting 6 days a week. I am determined to not only lose weight but also make lasting changes. I want to be stronger, more agile, faster, and be able to do just... more! I'm sick of always being sick and tired. So I'm fixing it myself! We can do this!0
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You don't have to completely flip your life upside down, just aim for small sustainable changes and habits. You don't have to give up all the foods you enjoy either. Know that you can still enjoy them but work on doing so in moderation and in line with your calorie and fitness goals. Good luck on your journey 0
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Please don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed about, lovely girl.
I know how hard the 'one day at a time' mentality can be. It's all very well us saying "Don't worry about it" but I know it can be easier said than done. What you need to do when things get tough is take some deep breaths, remind yourself calmly of why you are travelling this path and doing what you are doing. Then, envision your goal, envision yourself and your quality of life in a years time. Breathe. You can do this.0
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