Husband is no help

kami3006 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

kami3006 wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

You can have an opinion on what your spouse should do, but he has to WANT to do it. You can do it without him. Clear some space in the fridge and cupboard for the items you do want to eat and focus on those things.

Many of us here (including myself) lost weight without our spouses changing their habits.

^This. Also realize that you can still eat the same things but you just have to account for them in your day. I just made the same old stuff and ate less or made a separate side for myself to get in some extra vegetables.

Leading by example works way more often than pressuring or nagging.

ETA: About 6 months in, my husband came up to me and asked how many calories were in something he was about to eat. We got out the food scale and since that day he's been logging away.

My husband is going through something similar. He often asks me for ways to reduce calories in some of his favorite dishes and he has been eating way more fruit and vegetables. It's like he had to see me go through it and see that I wasn't giving up everything that made me happy before he could consider change. I think it helps that I never tried to get him to change, I was just upfront about what I was doing. I don't think he'll ever log, but it's cool to see him taking more control of his health.

That's fantastic. I have to admit, I was thrilled when he asked because, while he's in decent shape, we're at that early 40s area where things are achangin' and I really wanted us both to get ahead of it. I never in a million years thought he'd take the time to log but I guess seeing how easy it was for me eased him into the mindset. Being upfront helped and he was always good about waiting for me to log or asking me "how many grams of ice cream do you want?" so he was involved without me asking him to be. Then one day he asked me about my powerlifting...

That's so awesome. I think we underestimate the power of the low key example. Sometimes seeing someone else make a change is the best way to imagine ourselves making it.

Bad foods don't make you overweight, bad portions do - I've lost about 55 lb so far, and some of what you'd see in my diary:
Cake, cookies, ice cream, french fries, potato chips, fast food, red meat, etc. Most days I have at least some calories of food with a low nutritional value.

You don't lose by eating better foods - although you can get other health benefits - but by better control of the amount you eat. The only times I really think you should totally exclude a food are in you have a medical reason, if you're unable to eat that food in moderation, or for personal preferences / beliefs.

mrsjmsrvrs wrote: »

I'm definitely doing it without him. But how do you stick to a diet when they don't eat the good stuff and just bring all the bad stuff in?

I didn't change the food I eat for the most part and my family eats the same as always. They have different calorie needs and preferences so we are not going to ever eat exactly the same.
I prelog my food and that really helps me. I drink water or unsweetened tea mostly so I save my calories for food.
Stop thinking of food as good or bad. Food is food. Think instead of what food meets your nutritional needs and is satisfying to you for the amount of calories.
Want to lose weight more than you want to eat above your calorie goal.
Eat food you like every day. Fit it in your calorie goal. Eat in a way you can for the rest of your life. If you can't see yourself giving up a food forever then learn the portion size that is appropriate for your goal and keep it in your diet.
Portion out food instead of eating out of containers. Use smaller plates or bowls.
Put food away out of sight.
Buy or make less food at a time.
Eat smaller portions of higher calorie foods and add more lower calorie foods like vegetables. I will have my hamburger with a salad instead of fries for instance.
Get enough protein, fats and fiber to help you feel full and satisfied.
If you have 30 lbs or less to lose don't set your goal to be more than 1 lb a week.

mrsjmsrvrs wrote: »

I'm definitely doing it without him. But how do you stick to a diet when they don't eat the good stuff and just bring all the bad stuff in?

Willpower. Same thing at my house. Sometimes I give in, usually I don't.

mrsjmsrvrs wrote: »

I'm definitely doing it without him. But how do you stick to a diet when they don't eat the good stuff and just bring all the bad stuff in?

What bad stuff ?

Just focus on you and accomplishing what you set out to do.

If it's super hard, go buy a pretty lock for his pantry door at the hardware store, install it, and give your hubby the only keys

mrsjmsrvrs wrote: »

I am trying to watch my caloric intake, and start exercising more. My husband SHOULD do the same but refuses. Our cupboards and fridge are full of items I shouldn't be eating. How do I get him to be more on board with earing healthier, snacking less, and generally being more supportive? We both have gained at least 30 lbs in the 5 years we've been married. Part of my weight gain is from the baby, but he was born 10 months ago. I just don't know what to do!!!

Your goal isn't his goal. If he doesn't want to be on board, then you do it on your own. Unfortunately family and relatives aren't always going to be supportive and sometimes will be the bane in your weight loss journey.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

SingRunTing wrote: »

mrsjmsrvrs wrote: »

I'm definitely doing it without him. But how do you stick to a diet when they don't eat the good stuff and just bring all the bad stuff in?

I eat mostly the same foods I always did, just different portion sizes.

I actually have more "junk" in the house than we did before because I feel less guilty when I eat it now.

This too. We have a ton of "junk" in the house. His favorites, my favorites and our son's favorites. I just consciously chose when I want to have it, then measure a correct portion and log it. Like the poster I am quoting, I feel much less guilty eating it now because I plan for it and account for it and I'm not trying to sneak around and hide that I'm eating "junk." I also eat less of it. Since it's not forbidden, much of it has lost the allure. However, when I want some ice cream, there better be some around, d@mnit! :-)

OP - so many wonderful suggestions on here.

Glad you are doing this for you - with or without outside support.....that independence and self motivation to keep going will stand you in good stead for success.

My experience was very much like @jgnatca ....in the beginning my Hubby just watched me go out for a slog along the streets etc etc...because I did all the cooking there were differences in our usual foods but none that he wasn't happy to indulge in.

During that time I started to ask would he like to come for a walk with me.....eventually he accepted (I learnt very quickly that nagging him was NOT the right way to go....He just dug his feet in further) and it became a really lovely time for us to chill out just together and talk all the while enjoying the scenery. Over time those walks became faster, longer and more challenging and surprise, surprise he noticed his tummy decreasing (which made him very happy)....and he found that his body just responds so well to exercise....and all the happy hormones.

Then bless him HE found MFP.....he's a dedicated, loveable nerd.....who thrives on data.....so we started tracking calories and that was the bomb moment for us.

Since then sadly he has regained some of his lost weight and lost the focus to exercise but he still has those skills and that knowledge and I have no doubt that when he is ready he'll take the plunge again....I just continue to help by weighing everything and writing it down for him, which he faithfully logs....this is all done at his request.

Funnily enough, MFP has given us somewhat of a new lease on life. We have so much more interest in nutrition, and are now able to weed out a lot of mis-information that is around about diet.....

I guess what I'm trying to say to you is....maybe like for me your 'new life' will inspire you Hubby too.....

All the best.

I dont pay much attention to what my husband does. I cook dinner, if he doesnt like it then he has to fix himself something else. I do the shopping, I do provide treats for him and the kids. Sometimes I have some, sometimes I dont. You cant eliminate all 'temptations' in your life. But I do tend to buy things that aren't my weakness eg I am not a huge chips person so I can easily leave them alone. I buy tim tams, I like chocolate but arent a huge biscuit eater so 1 is enough for me.

My husband is considerate enough not to wave it in my face and mostly doesnt ask if I want something he's having. My kids out of politeness do ask but they know sometimes I'll say no and sometimes I'll say yes. He can be a bit sabotaging on a Saturday as we usually have takeaway for dinner but then I've usually worked my butt off doing 2 workouts and also running around after kids so I am happy to splurge a little.