so hard to be pregnant :(
Vanilla_Lattes
Posts: 251 Member
I currently have two children ages 4 and 2, and I'm 14w with #3. I had finally lost all of my pregnancy gain (i gained 50 lbs of not baby while pregnant), and now I am sad/scared to be gaining again. I have been trying to stay at a reasonable calorie goal (maintenance+ a few), but I've been consistently going over. I don't want to gain 50 lbs again. Sigh.
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@brwelch1 Please just try to enjoy your pregnancy. (That is so funny coming from me since I hated being pregnant with both of mine.) But really, you are only going to be pregnant a couple times in your life (unless you are a Duggar).
Growing another person inside you is hard. Cut yourself some slack. I question even calorie counting while pregnant. I'm pretty sure if I was pregnant again I would stop counting and try to eat healthy and exercise as was comfortable. You will lose the weight. You've proven that you know how to do that. But stressing yourself out over it doesn't help you, baby, or your weight. Be easy mama. Enjoy it as much as possible.
Congratulations!
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I didn't worry about tracking calories when pregnant, but focused on eating within the food groups recommended, making sure to get a variety of veggies and proteins. I kept up all of my workouts too. I gained 50 lbs with my first 2 pregnancies and only 35 with the second (likely because she was a month premature - I would probably have made it to 50 given 4 more weeks). Very little of the weight was fat, and the extra weight came off pretty easily while nursing the baby. The only part I recall being hard to get rid of was the last 5-10 lbs, but I think that's pretty normal even without a pregnancy in the mix.
Focus on eating healthy and staying active - don't fret the numbers on the scale.0 -
I gained a lot during each of my three pregnancies and still don't regret it. If I could change anything about it looking back I would maybe not eat McDonald's fries every single day with #3 but they made me feel better at the time. Just focus on getting enough vitamins and minerals and try not to stress it too much with the weight. Besides with a 4 and a 2 year old to chase I'm sure you'll be getting plenty of exercise in the meantime.0
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I was overweight when I got pregnant with both of mine and had really bad heartburn. I gained about 20lbs with each. My 2nd was a 10lbs baby. I actually put on more weight after my 2nd was born than I weighed while pregnant. It was very embarrassing and what prompted me to join MFP.0
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But you're gaining baby, not fat!
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Yea it's a little frustrating, I was pretty much at my goal weight/physique when I got pregnant with #2.. but now I'm just trying to keep as active as I can, eat reasonably and enjoy this special time.0
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Hmm.. sounds like you should have thought of this 14w ago. Just saying...-5
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Hmm.. sounds like you should have thought of this 14w ago. Just saying...
This was a pretty rude comment, actually. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and we were actually preventing, but thank you for your comment. Also, thanks to everyone who was supportive. I am mainly worried about it because my OB is really watching my weight this time and wants me to gain no more than 30. It's a different one than I'm used to seeing due to insurance.0 -
Hmm.. sounds like you should have thought of this 14w ago. Just saying...
This was a pretty rude comment, actually. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and we were actually preventing, but thank you for your comment. Also, thanks to everyone who was supportive. I am mainly worried about it because my OB is really watching my weight this time and wants me to gain no more than 30. It's a different one than I'm used to seeing due to insurance.
Just like while you were losing, you need to make choices that will satisfy your hunger while not having an excess of calories. Smart choices for the win! 0 -
with all four of my babies I was on a feeding tube and picc line and in a hospital the entire time.....I would have loved the option to eat too much hahah. Just be reasonable and enjoy it, don't let this hang over your head. Don't use baby as a ticket to over indulge, and if baby is healthy and you're gaining slower than this dr would like, oh well!!0
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blankiefinder wrote: »Hmm.. sounds like you should have thought of this 14w ago. Just saying...
This was a pretty rude comment, actually. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and we were actually preventing, but thank you for your comment. Also, thanks to everyone who was supportive. I am mainly worried about it because my OB is really watching my weight this time and wants me to gain no more than 30. It's a different one than I'm used to seeing due to insurance.
Just like while you were losing, you need to make choices that will satisfy your hunger while not having an excess of calories. Smart choices for the win!
gosh people can be so mean, but @blankiefinder is right. try your best to make healthy choices.
i feel for you. I was preventing too but since only abstinence is 100%, i became pregnant last october after losing 26lbs and dropping from size 13 to size 2. it hit me hard. i made myself miserable about it and i made people around me upset that i was miserable because they took the misery out of context ( i wasn't miserable about a baby, i love him!) But i gained 62lbs and now 4 months postpartum i have only lost 16 of it. it hurts. but i honestly believe if you have a stronger mind than i did you could come out on top of this. have a beautiful baby , enjoy your pregnancy, eat healthy but splurge sometimes on those cravings and then work hard to get your body back!! It's tough but we can do it. just please be strong, it hurts to know you may go through everything i did if you are not! I AM ROOTING FOR YOU!!!
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I am sorry but I completely understand. I too have gained a lot of weight during my pregnancies and cannot imagine doing it again. Try to stay positive!0
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Most importantly, keep carbs below 120.0
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I can relate I was obese before I got pregnant with my 1st (she's 3 1/2 now) and gained about 60lbs even though my doc said to only gain 30lbs or less. After she was born I lost all the baby weight plus some and got down to my goal weight of 125lbs.....I lost 95lbs! Now that my husband and I are having another baby (I'm 19w) I am very worried about gaining to much and being out of control like I was before. I have been at maintained weight for over 2 years and already feel like I have gained to much for only being half way done. I try and eat healthy still but my cravings are getting the best of me.....I feel your pain HELP!!!!!0
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From someone who's been trying to conceive for four years and it's looking like it won't happen for us... You are unbelievably blessed. You are so, so lucky to have your little ones and another on the way. Yes, you'll gain weight. Yes, you're giving up your body for nine months plus breastfeeding time, then you'll have to work to lose weight again. But look at your kids now and imagine if you had been unable to have them. In a couple of years you'll be back at your goal weight - this isn't forever. You did brilliantly to lose all the weight before and you'll manage it again, and having that family is utterly priceless.0
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pinkteapot3 wrote: »From someone who's been trying to conceive for four years and it's looking like it won't happen for us... You are unbelievably blessed. You are so, so lucky to have your little ones and another on the way. Yes, you'll gain weight. Yes, you're giving up your body for nine months plus breastfeeding time, then you'll have to work to lose weight again. But look at your kids now and imagine if you had been unable to have them. In a couple of years you'll be back at your goal weight - this isn't forever. You did brilliantly to lose all the weight before and you'll manage it again, and having that family is utterly priceless.
^^
This is what I was just thinking. I tried to conceive for five years and never was able to get pregnant. Be thankful because you're situation is one others travel to hell and back to be in, and sometimes never get there. You lost once and you can do it again.
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You'll be ok... Just try to focus on one day at a time and not get overwhelmed with what you "might" gain.
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You just have to focus on yourself and the baby right now. Stress isn't good for either one of you. Try to stay calm and relax. In fact, you might try some meditation techniques - you can find classes locally or even look some stuff up online. When you are struggling with cravings and feel stressed, try the meditation.
Even if you do gain too much weight, you can focus on losing it once you have had the baby.0 -
And here I am worried I'll never have a baby....
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Stress is not good for the baby. Worry bout cooking it right now and know that you lost the weight once, so you will again. Congratulations!0
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If this where me I would concern myself with growing a healthy baby and make good food choices . you'll have plenty of time to worry about weight loss after the baby is born.0
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I can speak from experience here of what OP must be feeling.....I bet she (like me) is super happy to be able to be pregnant and to know she will have a happy healthy baby at the end of the road BUT as someone who maybe struggled with weight and/or body conscious issues (again, my experience) it really hits you hard. knowing that you can work out and *try* to lose the weight again and knowing it is all for the greater good of the baby doesn't change the fact that sometimes you just feel a little helpless about the gain. and yes it is hard to stay in the healthy range of gain...once i passed the 30lbs mark my doctors kept saying things about gaining weight and to me it felt like they were putting me down for getting big or gaining too much which really even further damaged my self esteem, even though i knew i probably just had a big healthy baby in there and was loving him antipartum already.
While i have a cousin and a friend who both have fertility problems and one did ivf, i completely understand how you ladies must feel. I can't say i feel it for you because i haven't been through it but i have watched the heartbreak and honestly felt guilty myself as i got pregnant with baby #2 while they still struggled for one....but that's no way to live. we can't live guilty with what we have because others don't have it and vice versa we shouldn't be putting guilt onto others. what we need to do is lift each other up! I hope and pray you ladies have those babies you want someday. I do! and OP i know you will look out for baby's best interest even through your own struggles. it is okay to struggle, it is natural. just try to be positive and talking about it is definitely better than bottling it up IMO. Good luck!0 -
I can speak from experience here of what OP must be feeling.....I bet she (like me) is super happy to be able to be pregnant and to know she will have a happy healthy baby at the end of the road BUT as someone who maybe struggled with weight and/or body conscious issues (again, my experience) it really hits you hard. knowing that you can work out and *try* to lose the weight again and knowing it is all for the greater good of the baby doesn't change the fact that sometimes you just feel a little helpless about the gain. and yes it is hard to stay in the healthy range of gain...once i passed the 30lbs mark my doctors kept saying things about gaining weight and to me it felt like they were putting me down for getting big or gaining too much which really even further damaged my self esteem, even though i knew i probably just had a big healthy baby in there and was loving him antipartum already.
While i have a cousin and a friend who both have fertility problems and one did ivf, i completely understand how you ladies must feel. I can't say i feel it for you because i haven't been through it but i have watched the heartbreak and honestly felt guilty myself as i got pregnant with baby #2 while they still struggled for one....but that's no way to live. we can't live guilty with what we have because others don't have it and vice versa we shouldn't be putting guilt onto others. what we need to do is lift each other up! I hope and pray you ladies have those babies you want someday. I do! and OP i know you will look out for baby's best interest even through your own struggles. it is okay to struggle, it is natural. just try to be positive and talking about it is definitely better than bottling it up IMO. Good luck!
No guilt was intended. I just meant to try to keep things in perspective. Op is lucky to have her babies, but unfortunately struggles to get her body back. I'll never know that fight but I'll always hurt over not being able to experience pregnancy despite having adopted a baby. We're both very fortunate. I do wish Op all the best on all fronts.
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I gained 40 with my first one and never quite lost all the weight. I was actively working on it when I got pregnant with my second. I'm 22 weeks right now, and I've gained 21 so far. I'm keeping an eye on my weight, but I'm not going to obsess about it. The way I figure it, as long as you're eating reasonably and exercising when you can, you'll be okay. Every woman is different and so is every baby. We'll have plenty of time to work on it again after these Munchkins are born.
If it helps, there's a calorie calculator on a website called Fit to be Pregnant that gives you calorie goals for each trimester, plus breastfeeding. 0 -
Be more concerned with your carb intakes, especially refined sugars. Keep carbs below 120/day.0
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