WOW! WHERE DID THIS COME FROM ??

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bmw4deb
bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have a very supportive hubby, even tho i have did the weight loss
thing many times i never stuck with it till now! I recently joined gold's gym
hubby even bought me extra sessions with the trainer, down 42 lbs so far.
This morning he (hubby) was so mean make little accusations of what i'm
doing with my evening MY trainer ??? what gives? he has never been like
this... He is super fit and works out daily why would he start getting a grudge
with it now?

Replies

  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    he's insecure. He sees you getting fit and he's afraid that once you reach goal weight, you're going to "realize you're too good for him" and leave him for someone else (your trainer).
  • 2nyce
    2nyce Posts: 37
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    Could be a lot of things, why not ask him?
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    Just because he's fit and works out daily, doesn't mean he feels good about himself, or has any confidence. A LOT of men have a hard time with their girlfriends/wives losing weight because they don't feel worthy of her anymore and think she'll realize that at the end of it all. Reassure him as often as you can and be sensitive to the fact that he's having these insecure thoughts. It may help, it may not. It's something he has to deal with on his own.
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
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    Never thought he could be insecure, gonna try and talk to him again this
    afternoon, As far as the trainer he is 10 lmao my kids are older!
  • Micheller1210
    Micheller1210 Posts: 460 Member
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    Well......he may find you hot, so therefore your trainer make think so...in hubby's mind your becoming a cougar grrrr...lol perhaps need to change to a female trainer. My husband has a jealous streak so I always work out with a woman saves a. lot of suspicion. Invite hubby to come along for a work out.
  • Flwrsme
    Flwrsme Posts: 39
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    ...Also you have to remember Men are big babies and want your attention. Its going else where when your not with him and at the gym. Even if its just on yourself, its not on him. Try and bare with him. Maybe invite him to come watch.... (tell him you want him to see what the trainer does and maybe he could help you too) the suggestion above is great.... Ask him whats wrong. I get this too.... I dont have a trainer, but my bf goes to the gym during the day (he works from noon - 9 pm) I work from 7am-5:30... i still have to squeeze in the gym after work and dinner etc.... sometimes he gets home and wants to spend time, but i still need to take a shower and get stuff ready for the next day. Then im exhausted. So i just had to explain it to him in that way. Now he understands and doesnt make the comments.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    your trainer is 10 years old? did i read that right?
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
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    your trainer is 10 years old? did i read that right?

    you read right lol, i posted wrong he is 20
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    your trainer is 10 years old? did i read that right?

    you read right lol, i posted wrong he is 20

    hahahaha that makes more sense!!! I was thinking, WHAT? how can a 10 yr old know enough about fitness & nutrition to train someone HAHAHAHA :)
  • AudgePaudge
    AudgePaudge Posts: 537 Member
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    My husband hasn't accused me of anything yet, but he has made comments like: You're going to be skinny and not want to be with me anymore. Or: You're going to cheat on me when you lose weight...I think men are just used to us looking a certain way, and they're scared that when we lose the weight we want to we're not going to look at them the same way, or feel the same way. Just talk about it with him, and reassure him that he's the only one you want. I feel like I have to constantly reassure my husband, but they're definitely worth it!! They're the ones who loved us most at our worst! Good luck with every thing :)
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
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    I would just say insecurity. Maybe with you getting fit and sexy, he is feeling some type of way. I would just sit down and talk with him about the way he feels and why he feels that way. Communication is KEY in any relationship. Let him know you are HURT that he would make such accusations, that you would never even do a thing like that (if you wouldn't) and he should know that!!
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    He's a man - in a relationship - in the United States - in the 21st century. He probably a bit of a realist. You're looking hot and men today have no problem trying to get a hot woman, whether she's married or not. You just need to - actively, not verbally - assure him that he's the only man getting your hot body. :wink:

    And dont forget to give him attention. Getting in shape isn't doing you any good if you arent maintaining relationships with the ones you love.
  • keljo05
    keljo05 Posts: 173
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    I agree with insecurity. My hubby does the same thing, although its becoming less and less. He sees that I am doing this for me and it makes me happy.. but his insecurities still come to the front now and then. Reassure him and remind him you want this for you and for him.. so that he is proud of his sexy wife that wants to look hot for him...
  • lwilcox05
    lwilcox05 Posts: 2
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    Been there...my hubby wasn't mean just started to cook everything and get upset when I said I couldn't eat it. He also works out and is in great shape. Men get very insecure....as do woman also when their partner starts looking different. Talk to him. If it makes him upset, stop working with the trainer or invite him to be your trainer. Good luck!
  • GGMarie1501
    GGMarie1501 Posts: 54
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    This may explain why my hubby is all of a sudden bringing snacks and things like pizza from work.. Only I was able to eat it cause I hadn't eaten much at all by the time he got home cause I was too busy. lol
  • Nessiep
    Nessiep Posts: 171 Member
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    yes know what you mean...i get moaned at wen am i gonna stop!! its a life style change i keep telling him !

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