Is anyone being told they lost to much weight?
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lifeandleaves wrote: »Robinmariesmith wrote: »Is anyone else being told they lost to much weight, I struggle with this because I hold my weight in my stomach which I don't like, but I lose my butt when I lose the weight, I look healthy, but just have a small backside.
I'm the opposite. All my jeans are snug in the backside with a huge gap at the waist.
I've had people suggest to me I should stop losing weight. (This was 8 months into maintenance). I've had people tell me they think the best weight for my body is about 25 pounds more than I currently weigh. I've had people tell me I'm too skinny, and people tell me I look great. Fortunately the only person's opinion I care about is my husband's, and he has loved me at each and every weight I've ever been over the past 20 years.
What about your own opinion?
If my husband didn't like my weight it would literally mean nothing to me and he would be in the wrong.
If one hinges a partner's approval with their own satisfaction, then they must also yoke that person's dissatisfaction with one's own.
Dangerous games.
It works for you in practise which is great. It isn't very good in principle because it lowers our estimation of our own worth to only as high as someone else's.
To the OP: if you like your weight and feel healthy and strong, screw em all. Your weight and your body are no one's business but your own. Keep up the great work.
I may have worded that poorly. I don't care what anyone thinks about my body, except me. Additionally I want a body that is pleasing to my husband because I love him and want to feel/be sexy for him. He has never been anything but supportive and encouraging because he finds me beautiful both in mind and in body, even when I'm 9 months pregnant.
My decisions to lose weight and get healthy were because it was what I wanted for me. You are right that our own self worth shouldn't hinge on our partner's opinion. But I think most people here want their mate to find them attractive. That is all I meant when I said my husband's opinion mattered to me.0 -
While in college in a Psychology class the professor said we all have a role in life. When that "role" changes people have difficulty adjusting. For some people in our lives our "role" was to be the fat person. When that changes they don't know what to do. It's not intentional but it makes them feel uncomfortable. That's why people that know you are watching what you are eating start offering you snacks and such. So as long as you know what you are doing is healthy and you are happy with your body that's all that matters. People will always have a good or bad opinion of you. And that's all it is... an opinion. They need to mind their own and let you be happy. You worked hard to get to where you are at. Rock on! I can't wait until people say I've lost to much. :-)0
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Yes, many people have told me that I have lost too much weight. (I was 194lb, and lost 52 lb). People get used to seeing you a certain way.
Also, I must be honest and say that I looked more approachable and kinder looking in the face when fat. Now, I look a bit like someone you would cross the street to avoid But, I am 52 so if I don't have a sweet face any more, that's the price I have paid for losing all the fat. It's not worth being fat for 0 -
Life is too short to care what people think.
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I don't care what anyone thinks about my body, except me. Additionally I want a body that is pleasing to my husband because I love him and want to feel/be sexy for him. He has never been anything but supportive and encouraging because he finds me beautiful both in mind and in body
This. I have been told that I need to stop losing weight but the only person's opinion I care about is mine and my husband's. A "friend" told me that if I lose any more, I'll be anorexic. That comment really got to me and told my husband that if he felt that I was getting too thin, he would tell me but as far as I'm concerned, his opinion is the only one I would take into consideration (or a doctor).
I'm only 10 pounds under the high end weight for my height, (only 11 from the "overweight" category) so I am still trying to get rid of my annoying stomach fat.
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I think everyone's just used to what I used to look like and comparing. If they met me right after boot camp and then saw me now, they'd probably suggest I need to lose 20 lbs more...0
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Robinmariesmith wrote: »Is anyone else being told they lost to much weight, I struggle with this because I hold my weight in my stomach which I don't like, but I lose my butt when I lose the weight, I look healthy, but just have a small backside.
Yes tell them to *kitten* off!! I did ... what's better is that when you put some back on (purposely in order to gain muscles) the same people make rude comments asking why you stopped working out ... what happened?0 -
Iwilldothis4myself wrote: »While in college in a Psychology class the professor said we all have a role in life. When that "role" changes people have difficulty adjusting. For some people in our lives our "role" was to be the fat person. When that changes they don't know what to do. It's not intentional but it makes them feel uncomfortable. That's why people that know you are watching what you are eating start offering you snacks and such. So as long as you know what you are doing is healthy and you are happy with your body that's all that matters. People will always have a good or bad opinion of you. And that's all it is... an opinion. They need to mind their own and let you be happy. You worked hard to get to where you are at. Rock on! I can't wait until people say I've lost to much. :-)
Well said! And Iwilldothis4myself, you'll get there!0 -
I guess I'm odd woman out all I got is people at work is you look fantastic or I almost didn't recognize you follow by how did you do it... Or my favorite when I finally get motivated I want you as my coach...0
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Haha, yes! All the time! I'm 5'5 and fluctuate between 128-130 so I'm in no way underweight. I just let it go in one ear and out the other. My husband even said he thought I should put on 10 lbs or so. Heck no!
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People say to me "Your not losing any more are you???" I just say quickly "no, I am done". Mind you, I am not too thin whatsoever. I hold it all in my middle (both belly and back). My BMI is 22.5 at the moment and I work out to build muscle and still do some cardio for maintenance. But I have more fat to lose!!! I'm not going to worry about it right now since the holidays are coming but in January, I feel the need to get right back to it until I rid myself of this last bit of annoying fat. Why come this far and not try to fine tune it just right? No one knows, like we ourselves know. I go to the Dr. in March and hopefully he will be happy with my progress but even he will not know as much as me because I am the one in this skin.0
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I coworker has told me that I am too skinny. Mind you, "skinny" is not a word that has applied to me for my entire adult life. I keep reassuring her that I stopped losing six months ago and am simply maintaining.0
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I should add that my husband has been nothing but supportive, but he has said that if I lose any more my boobs will completely disappear.
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I think you have to surround yourself with positive people. I agree that people are just used to seeing you one way and not the one you are making for a better you. My boss told me I am a good success story, my mother-in-law at one point did say I am getting too skinny, but I didn't listen because I was not at my goal yet, which by all accounts is a healthy weight for my height and age. My hubby has been great really supportive, sometimes I need to plan my walk time better, but he is a lovin the new me. Also another great judge of your success is You, every morning when I wake up step on the scale I get excited because I have either maintained or lost another lb, which I can afford to loose another 8 and still be a healthy weight for my body type. And I get excited about putting on those size 8 dress pants vs size 12 what a great exciting feeling.
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I'm not in maintenance but I get it already. They are worried I exercise too much or worried because I count calories. They think I'm too skinny. I just sigh and shrug. they are welcome to their opinion. even if their opinion is wrong0
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I still here this every few weeks. I was lucky in that I lost everything in the first 6 months and haven't lost any more for 18 months. After I lost my initial 10lbs I started getting the "concern" about my weight loss and how I was taking things too far, too skinny etc etc. Some people are genuinely concerned, others see you as a threat to their own self worth because you've changed your image. It doesn't matter to them why you've done it but it can make people question themselves. As long as you are doing this for the right reasons, are in a healthy weight range and there are no medical professionals worried about your welfare then I wouldn't worry. You learn to ignore it. They will eventually accept it and if they don't so what.0
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it drives me nuts... mostly depending on the person and the delivery.
Ive been spiteful back toward certain people with the following comments...
"stop losing so much weight"
"make sure what you are doing is healthy, its not healthy to lose a lot of weight all at once"
"do you think you will yo yo back in gaining"
"be careful"
"you lost a lot of weight! like A LOT of wieght!!"
"you STILL losing weight?"
my replies are generally limited to
"thanks for your concern, but I know exactly what I am doing"
"I havent lost weight in almost x months, are you talking about 6 months ago?"
"dont worry about what im doing, you do your thing, i'll do mine"
"thanks, but its been months since ive lost weight, im really just trying to move past the old news"
Now if someone comes up to me and says
"you look so great, awesome, healthy, fantastic etc..."
"i almost didnt recognize you"
"wow, you look great"
cant really think of anymore that are positive...
those comments are generally met with blushing and a thank you.
but in general i dont need, or even desire compliments. I know some people like them, I dont, if i need a confidence boost or attention i go out and flirt with and date women, or i look in the mirror at my progress, or i talk to close family and friends who i confide in.
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[/quote]
What about your own opinion?
If my husband didn't like my weight it would literally mean nothing to me and he would be in the wrong.
If one hinges a partner's approval with their own satisfaction, then they must also yoke that person's dissatisfaction with one's own.
Dangerous games.
It works for you in practise which is great. It isn't very good in principle because it lowers our estimation of our own worth to only as high as someone else's.
To the OP: if you like your weight and feel healthy and strong, screw em all. Your weight and your body are no one's business but your own. Keep up the great work. [/quote]
I may have worded that poorly. I don't care what anyone thinks about my body, except me. Additionally I want a body that is pleasing to my husband because I love him and want to feel/be sexy for him. He has never been anything but supportive and encouraging because he finds me beautiful both in mind and in body, even when I'm 9 months pregnant.
My decisions to lose weight and get healthy were because it was what I wanted for me. You are right that our own self worth shouldn't hinge on our partner's opinion. But I think most people here want their mate to find them attractive. That is all I meant when I said my husband's opinion mattered to me. [/quote]
Please, please don't make apologizes for stating that your husbands opinion of how you look matter to you. A great marriage is a partnership, and when you truly love the person you want to please them. Especially when you have a husband like you and I have. My husband has loved me for 35 years. No matter how fat I got, or in spite of mistakes I have made, or how empty my pocketbook may have gotten, or how stupid or ridiculous I may have acted, he has loved me and put me first. FIRST. I can't say that about another individual my whole life. Even my parents had other children to consider,
Wanting to please someone that has shown years of unconditional love to you is just called being smart.
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Yes by my parents (mother especially)
I am still overweight though so not to worried about what they think.0 -
Yep!! I don't listen to people who criticize from the crouch!0
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I had the exact thing happen to me. I lost weight and my mom said my butt looks small and flat. That's where weight training comes in. You can build muscle in the glutes! That way you'll stay slim but have a bigger booty!0
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taleswithmorals.com/aesop-fable-the-man-the-boy-and-the-donkey.htm
This story comes to mind about what can happen if one follows the advice of others with nothing to lose from giving bad advice.0
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