If you are struggling to lose...

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  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?

    Is there a reason you feel the need to give her the 3rd degree? Shesh. She was just sharing her experience.

    It's not the third degree.

    I'm genuinely interested in how that works. How does a person never say to themselves "Maybe I should check on that" before being certain of it?

    Maybe someone, some day, will explain just what the heck they were telling themselves and how they came to be sure of something without ever considering seeing if it was right.

    Well, I thought i was checking...sort of. Hence the measuring cups and spoons but it turns out that heaping peanut butter on a tablespoon doesn't make it 1 tablespoon of peanut butter.
  • purplishblue
    purplishblue Posts: 135 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?
    Wow why are you being so rude? They made a great post to help others and you're just being condescending.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?

    I'm not sure why you find it so unbelievable. There's a whole thread full of people here telling you it happens. And we see it all the time in plateau threads. The important thing is that the OP did figure it out and is trying to help others do the same.

    I don't find it unbelievable. I totally believe it,which is why I'm asking.

    I just don't get how someone manages it. How do you "convince yourself"? How are you absolutely certain of something?

    Do these people just never think, "Maybe I should check and see"? Ever?

    I get that it's true. Totally believe it!

    I'm just trying to understand the thought process there. What are they thinking?

    Yes. I got to the point where I needed to check but it took too long and involved too much money in the mean time. For me, it stemmed from wanting it to be easier than it was, lack of information regarding weight loss, a sister for a nurse who told me all the possible hormonal issues that make weight loss more difficult, and a horrible sense of obsession with eating as much as I could without seeing red numbers on MFP.
    I mean before you decided to check. When you were "eyeballing" portions and were convinced that you were under 1500 calories.

    Do you know how you managed to convince of yourself of that? Was it unconscious or was there some thought process that just skipped the whole, "Maybe I should check" idea?
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Well, the fact that I thought weight loss was supposed to be easier than it was made me think that the effort I was already putting in should be more than enough. Having a nurse for a sister who's been telling me should though I was hypothyroid also kinda confirmed that idea that I was putting in more effort than anyone else I knew who had lost weight and they were successful and I wasn't so there must be something physically wrong with me.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?
    Wow why are you being so rude? They made a great post to help others and you're just being condescending.
    I am not trying to make her feel stupid. I am trying to understand what people go through, what they're thinking. That's it.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Add on top of that that it never occured to me that measuring food wasn't the most accurate way to determine how much you were eating...what the heck was a food scale?....and I think it makes a little more sense in a weird convoluted way
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?
    Wow why are you being so rude? They made a great post to help others and you're just being condescending.
    I am not trying to make her feel stupid. I am trying to understand what people go through, what they're thinking. That's it.

    I get that now. I realize you are trying to understand a thought process that doesn't make sense to you but I will confess that at first, I though you were being rude too. I get it now and am trying to explain it just not sure if it's coming across well.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    edited November 2015
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    If you hadn't actually checked, why were you "SURE" it was 1500 calories? Could you walk me through that thought process?
    I tend to be really obsessive and would underestimate things to keep the number from being in the red. I told myself it was on because there was no way I was eating that much over my calories. I stopped eating many carbs and deserts and such. The point is that I convinced myself, wrongly, that I was staying under my calories
    . its only after I started being more strict that I was even able to admit to myself that I had been doing this.
    And you really never thought, "Well, I haven't actually checked, so maybe I'm not staying under 1500 calories"? Never, ever occurred to you that maybe you should check before being SURE? Ever?
    Wow why are you being so rude? They made a great post to help others and you're just being condescending.
    I am not trying to make her feel stupid. I am trying to understand what people go through, what they're thinking. That's it.

    She has already explained it to you, you're just being difficult for the sake of it, and it seems like you are talking down to her and trying to make her feel stupid. Why? And edited to use your own words, What are you thinking? I'm trying to understand YOU.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    I give up. I'm not trying to badger you or make you feel dumb. I'm sure it makes sense, in some way. I'm just trying to figure out how it makes sense. You're not the first person I asked and failed to understand. You probably won't be the last!

    One day, someone will explain it so that it makes sense.

    If you felt badgered, I apologize.
  • Merrysix
    Merrysix Posts: 336 Member
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    It is pretty amazing how snarky some people are, but I appreciate you bringing up how weighing and measuring is the solution to denial of calorie creep. Most "civilians" out there don't get it. My daughter (who went to a great private high school) was taught in health class how to measure foods and figure out how many calories she was eating. I was so happy she learned this (without a parent breathing down her neck) and wish all teens could have this opportunity. It sure would have saved me a lot of misery and denial. She was trying to eat enough calories not reduce them, because she played sports and on heavy workout days should could burn 6,000 or more calories! Now that she is a young adult and not playing competitive sports, although working out, she knows how to moderate her calories by portion control.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    I give up. I'm not trying to badger you or make you feel dumb. I'm sure it makes sense, in some way. I'm just trying to figure out how it makes sense. You're not the first person I asked and failed to understand. You probably won't be the last!

    One day, someone will explain it so that it makes sense.

    If you felt badgered, I apologize.

    No worries, I get it now. I wish I could explain it better.
  • missblondi2u
    missblondi2u Posts: 851 Member
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    taracan25 wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    You're story sounds EXACTLY like mine. I was CONVINCED something was wrong with me. I KNEW I was eye balling correctly because there was no way that little food could be more than what I logged. I measured with cups and spoons and thought I was doing everything right. I also did the blood work and stopped my anxiety meds lol. Funny thing is I've had a food scale for years from when I did WW, but didn't think I needed it. Finally, after reading tons of MFP posts I said screw it, let me start weighing EVERYTHING. Lo and behold I've been steadily losing 1-2lbs a week since August. Something so simple and I thought I was above it all lol.

    Yay! I'm not the only crazy person on here! :lol

    Haha!! No, not at all. I'm 5'2 and was almost 200lbs at one point. I got that way for a reason. I ate a lot more than I thought I was. I didn't know or didn't care what portion control looked like.
    I can relate! I started eating like my husband who started gaining weight once he left construction work and got a desk job... That was a bad idea.

    Yes. Splitting everything 50/50 with someone 8-inches taller than I am is what got me fat. Don't know why it never occurred to me that was a bad idea.
    ETA - when I decided it was time to lose weight, my husband and I weighed the same.

    YES!! This rings so true for me. My husband is a chef and does all of the cooking and plating of the food. He always split everything 50/50 between us because 1) the plates looked nicer that way and 2) for some reason he thought it would be unfair or greedy to take more than half of the food. And for my part, I never wanted to waste any of the seriously delicious food he made, so I always tried to clean my plate, even after I was full.

    Lucky for me, he's been totally on board with my weight loss, and even takes the time to weigh all of his ingredients and write it down for me so I can log it. So now, before he plates our meals, he'll ask how many ounces I want of each thing. I <3 my husband!!
  • missblondi2u
    missblondi2u Posts: 851 Member
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    Also, this is a great post, OP!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    I give up. I'm not trying to badger you or make you feel dumb. I'm sure it makes sense, in some way. I'm just trying to figure out how it makes sense. You're not the first person I asked and failed to understand. You probably won't be the last!

    One day, someone will explain it so that it makes sense.

    If you felt badgered, I apologize.

    No worries, I get it now. I wish I could explain it better.
    Well, I wish I could understand it better, so we are even on the wishing. :)

    I'm sure the fault is mine.
  • mefullerton
    mefullerton Posts: 17 Member
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    Thanks for sharing!! I started my journey after a doctor's appointment & a scale that showed 216 lbs. I'm down 4 lbs in a month thanks to hard work. I know I could crack down on my eating a little more but I already am feeling a ton better.
  • mrsnazario1219
    mrsnazario1219 Posts: 173 Member
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    I honestly cannot explain my thinking. Stubbornness? Not educated enough on the whole portion control thing? Seeing other people losing weight WITHOUT measuring and thinking I could do the same? At one point I thought just cutting out fast food and working out a couple of times a week would definitely be the key to losing weight. It wasn't. You live and you learn.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    taracan25 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    I give up. I'm not trying to badger you or make you feel dumb. I'm sure it makes sense, in some way. I'm just trying to figure out how it makes sense. You're not the first person I asked and failed to understand. You probably won't be the last!

    One day, someone will explain it so that it makes sense.

    If you felt badgered, I apologize.

    No worries, I get it now. I wish I could explain it better.
    Well, I wish I could understand it better, so we are even on the wishing. :)

    I'm sure the fault is mine.

    In this case, yes it is.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    I honestly cannot explain my thinking. Stubbornness? Not educated enough on the whole portion control thing? Seeing other people losing weight WITHOUT measuring and thinking I could do the same? At one point I thought just cutting out fast food and working out a couple of times a week would definitely be the key to losing weight. It wasn't. You live and you learn.

    I didn't mean all of that. I totally get that.

    It's the "I was eyeballing my portions and sure I was under X calories" thing. It comes up every so often around here. I totally believe the people who say it! It fascinates me. I want to understand it.

    I think that there is a lot of good to be gained from understanding that. I think it might help people, understanding the hows and whys of how that works.

    I don't know, though, if the "Maybe I should check" thing never crosses their mind or if it does and they think, "No, blah, blah, something blah" or what. Is it a subconscious denial or is there some thought process that guides them around actually checking?

    One day, someone will have figured it out for themselves and explain how they managed to be sure without ever checking.

    I understand almost everything people say. Even if it's irrational, it can make a sort of irrational sense. This is one thing that comes up sometimes that I have never understood.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    I honestly cannot explain my thinking. Stubbornness? Not educated enough on the whole portion control thing? Seeing other people losing weight WITHOUT measuring and thinking I could do the same? At one point I thought just cutting out fast food and working out a couple of times a week would definitely be the key to losing weight. It wasn't. You live and you learn.

    I didn't mean all of that. I totally get that.

    It's the "I was eyeballing my portions and sure I was under X calories" thing. It comes up every so often around here. I totally believe the people who say it! It fascinates me. I want to understand it.

    I think that there is a lot of good to be gained from understanding that. I think it might help people, understanding the hows and whys of how that works.

    I don't know, though, if the "Maybe I should check" thing never crosses their mind or if it does and they think, "No, blah, blah, something blah" or what. Is it a subconscious denial or is there some thought process that guides them around actually checking?

    One day, someone will have figured it out for themselves and explain how they managed to be sure without ever checking.

    I understand almost everything people say. Even if it's irrational, it can make a sort of irrational sense. This is one thing that comes up sometimes that I have never understood.

    I think I understand what you're saying. Before I started using a scale, every time I mashed something squishable into a measuring cup I wondered how tightly I was supposed to be packing it. So the question about accuracy came up for me all the time.

    I imagine people don't have that thought process when they think they are packing correctly. I don't worry about hard things like raw rice. I assume I am doing that correctly. It doesn't occur to me to weigh it. I may be all wrong about this. (Cooked rice squishes, so I do weigh that.)

    Every time I make pesto I wonder how tightly I'm supposed to pack the basil leaves.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    I honestly cannot explain my thinking. Stubbornness? Not educated enough on the whole portion control thing? Seeing other people losing weight WITHOUT measuring and thinking I could do the same? At one point I thought just cutting out fast food and working out a couple of times a week would definitely be the key to losing weight. It wasn't. You live and you learn.

    I didn't mean all of that. I totally get that.

    It's the "I was eyeballing my portions and sure I was under X calories" thing. It comes up every so often around here. I totally believe the people who say it! It fascinates me. I want to understand it.

    I think that there is a lot of good to be gained from understanding that. I think it might help people, understanding the hows and whys of how that works.

    I don't know, though, if the "Maybe I should check" thing never crosses their mind or if it does and they think, "No, blah, blah, something blah" or what. Is it a subconscious denial or is there some thought process that guides them around actually checking?

    One day, someone will have figured it out for themselves and explain how they managed to be sure without ever checking.

    I understand almost everything people say. Even if it's irrational, it can make a sort of irrational sense. This is one thing that comes up sometimes that I have never understood.
    Kalikel wrote: »
    I honestly cannot explain my thinking. Stubbornness? Not educated enough on the whole portion control thing? Seeing other people losing weight WITHOUT measuring and thinking I could do the same? At one point I thought just cutting out fast food and working out a couple of times a week would definitely be the key to losing weight. It wasn't. You live and you learn.

    I didn't mean all of that. I totally get that.

    It's the "I was eyeballing my portions and sure I was under X calories" thing. It comes up every so often around here. I totally believe the people who say it! It fascinates me. I want to understand it.

    I think that there is a lot of good to be gained from understanding that. I think it might help people, understanding the hows and whys of how that works.

    I don't know, though, if the "Maybe I should check" thing never crosses their mind or if it does and they think, "No, blah, blah, something blah" or what. Is it a subconscious denial or is there some thought process that guides them around actually checking?

    One day, someone will have figured it out for themselves and explain how they managed to be sure without ever checking.

    I understand almost everything people say. Even if it's irrational, it can make a sort of irrational sense. This is one thing that comes up sometimes that I have never understood.

    I really did think I was checking for a long time. Later I heard about food scales but for most of the time I'm describing above I didn't realize they existed and that checking was measuring. Once food scale entered my vocabulary I thought they were unnecessary because if you are eating less than you were you lose weight and if you eat healthier foods than you were you lose weight. Perhaps it's hard to explain because I started off with a very wrong understanding of what it takes to lose and I felt so sure of what I knew because its what I have always been told that thinking I needed to weigh to check wasn't something that even entered my thoughts.