It's like I'm an opportunist food obsessive.

blackcoffeeandcherrypie
blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
in Food and Nutrition
People have all kinds of different reasons for eating. I never really related when people said they were a comfort eater, so I always wondered what my issue was.

I've noticed that I always eat the most out of anybody in the room. Like, I can rationalise it and say 'well (x) had two helpings' and '(y) had dessert too' - but I'll be the only one who had two helpings AND dessert. So I'm trying to be the person in the room who eats *less* than the others there - not more.

Since starting this, I've noticed that I'm obsessed with available food. If the food's not there, I don't think about it. But if the food is sat in front of me, waiting to be ate, it's like I'm obsessed with it. I'll constantly think about it until it is removed from me or until someone else eats it. This is the case even if it's my food and I'm supposed to eat it later in the day. For instance, today, I bought a sandwich to have at lunchtime. But at my morning break, my mouth is virtually ordering me to eat it, and fantasising about what the bread will feel like as I chew it. It took every bit of my resolve to only eat half of it and save the other half for lunch. But if the sandwich hadn't been there, I would never have thought about it.

Another example is a meeting I went to yesterday. Everything was going fine until the lady put out some chocolate chip biscuits. I let myself have two, which was about what everyone else had, and then I stopped. But for an hour, I was literally obsessed with them - kept looking at them, thinking about them, wishing I could eat them. Sat here now, it seems silly, I don't even care about biscuits. But if someone put them in front of me, it'd be the same thing all over again. I'd eat them till they were all gone, whether I was hungry or not.

Can anyone else relate to this type of overeating? Or give any insight into what causes it or how to resolve it? Obviously, the easy thing is just to avoid keeping snacks in, and then I won't think about it - but the trick is how to not overeat when it's right in front of me and I could (theoretically) eat as much as I want.

Other people seem to manage it okay. They can resist food that's put out in front of them and only eat if they're hungry. Yet my desire to eat seems so different to that.

I feel like, if I could just understand where this urge comes from, I could get over it. But I don't understand it at all.
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Replies

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    It's normal. Normal to feel that way and normal to struggle with dietary changes.

    If you're determined and committed, you'll make the changes you need to make! One day, you sit and wonder why you ever felt the way you did, lol.

    Stick with it. The harder it is, the prouder you will be of yourself when you succeed! :)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Is this you?
    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/video-worlds-greediest-cat-miserly-2973000

    The trick for diverting an obsessive thought is not to resist it but to recognize it, label it, and put it aside "for a while". The "for a while" will be when you are back at home, far far away from those tempting cookies.

    http://discovermagazine.com/2013/nov/14-defense-free-will

    http://www.hope4ocd.com/foursteps.php
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    So what you're saying is you've turned into a dog! LOL (I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you... I'm sort of the same.) Making myself wait through a cooling off period helps when I get food ambushed at school sites where there are pumpkin pies sitting out in the teachers' lounge or its pizza & popcorn party day with the kids in my class. I take a little, set it aside, and tell myself 'see how you feel in an hour, or two, or after the buses come...' etc etc. Sometimes it's not so attractive after that wait.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited November 2015
    OP I'm the same way. That's why buffets and family dinners are often so hard for me. Going somewhere where people put cookies out? FORGET IT. Pie staring me in the face at family dinners? Rough. That's how I ended up eating probably 2000 calories of pie at the Holidays last year... and buffets? Horrible. I just keep wanting to go back for more until I'm completely stuffed. I attended a few baking classes last month and all I could think of is whether they were going to give me free treats or not, and when they were asking if anyone wanted a cupcake, I was the first one saying yes... (the cupcakes were behind us the whole time).

    I mean, I do fine if I know what's going to be for dinner and I pre-plan everything, put it on my plate, and tell myself that that's what I'm eating. It's when I don't know and can't plan and people give unexpected treats that it's really tough... I always want to grab a biscuit or chocolate or what not...

    Is it really OCD though? I don't know. I don't really have other symptoms of it (I mean, sure, I'm particular about food handling hygiene after working in the food business for a year, but I don't consider that being OCD). But yeah... I like planning. I'm in control that way. If I knew that they'd have cookies out in advance, I would probably have time to be ok with the idea of only having two... so I guess I do have issues too, just not sure what it is.

    I like the idea of telling myself that I have to wait 15 minutes before taking another cookie or another slice of pie though. I'll have to keep that one in mind even at home when I start having a strong craving for junk...
  • jacklifts
    jacklifts Posts: 396 Member
    yea, i'm the same way. the only thing that i've found that's really helped is intermittent fasting. if I tell myself I can't have anything, then for some reason the temptation to have anything goes way down. however, if i've started eating, it's extremely difficult not to eat what's in front of me (though I'm getting better at it). buffets, dinner with friends, airports....all bad places.
  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    Oh gosh.....I can really (REALLY!) relate to this.
    I'm not sure if it has to do with OCD (I do have some actual, diagnosed, OCD issues) but the food stuff....somehow feels different than my need to line up shoes in a specific order in the closet, or my 'spelling rituals' {weird!} )
    I have has some success with distract and delay tactics.
    As soon as I notice the 'obsession', I acknowledge it and actively engage in distraction.....I get up and move/make a phone call/watch a YouTube video/etc.
    When or if this fails, I set 'rules' for myself such as 'no cookie until you've found a way to do 15 sets of stairs/until you walk around the block 3 times/run in place for 15 min/.
    Create your own. Get creative....have fun.
  • cgisme2014
    cgisme2014 Posts: 18 Member
    I can relate to this too. I have 10 siblings and we were dirt poor so any food that was available had to be eaten or someone else would. I believe that this caused me to 'tidy up' food. I could never leave the last piece of pie or a cake which was not full or a half or the last piece of cheese.

    Now I log everything and after 36 days it has developed into a habit so that I am always under my target and never eat back any of my exercise.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    edited November 2015
    I feel it's normal, too. I've often felt that way even prior to dieting and I was never clinically overweight - just to let you know that it isn't something only dieters or overweight people experience, though it certainly gets worse when you ARE dieting and yet you find yourself eating the food you know you aren't really hungry for, and aren't really all that crazy about just because it's there.

    For me, the best defense is out of sight, out of mind. If I can put the food away, I will. If I can't, I'll leave and be busy elsewhere if that's at all possible. And if I'm stuck staring at something that's calling my name, I'll grab a drink if I'm able and I'll do my damnedest not to take the first bite. Because it's a lot easier to resist starting than it is to stop once I get going if I'm in that mindset.
  • blackcoffeeandcherrypie
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
    I really appreciate everyone's comments so much. It's interesting to know that other people do this too. Thanks for the tips and tricks, I like the idea of delaying starting, if I can, and the links to the 4 steps OCD was useful for reattribute, relabel, refocus and revalue.
  • andyluvv
    andyluvv Posts: 281 Member
    Thanks for this blackcoffee it's nice to know we all struggle with this in some way.
    My way to go around this is to increase my activity...I try to make my double steps and I ALWAYS give myself a reason to do something else. So for example, yesterday I had a couple of drinks and some biscuits...boom, blew my allowance.

    I decided that I HAD to go shopping for pillow cases...(I didn't really...). Spent sooo long at the shopping centre checking sales and deals and came back empty handed but hooray - 1000 calories burn for the day lol

    I also sometimes work at a coffee shop and it's a struggle with all the treats in front of you. The way I found to tackle it (as I like to try EVERYTHING from new soups, to cake - and it helps me sell them at my job) is to have little bits. Bite sizes of everything so I don't end up overdoing it.

    Today is the first time I ACTUALLY have something bad in the house (remember the biscuits? Ended up bringing home 2 packs of oreos). They're there...I had ONE this morning and I've been quite good at keeping them there (so far!). Going out later for some activity and perhaps hunt for more pillow cases lol

    But again, it's so good to know you're not alone, you're not "crazy" and it doesn't only happen to you - so thank you :) I think the best thing to do is to distract yourself with other things. I'm always jealous of people at work that can open a pack of biscuits, have two and put them away - sealed right in front of them!
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    edited November 2015
    I never understood the idea of "comfort" food - as eating has never ever made me feel better when I'm bothered, lonely, sad, angry.....doesn't even take my mind off it for 2 seconds. In fact if I am really upset, I do not want to eat at all.

    I eat when I'm bored, maybe when I'm anxious and feel like I should "do" something - and it never helps, lol...it only helps with the boredom, slightly.

    I am more of a habitual eater. As in, I will eat ...and eat....and eat....and EAT when I'm watching TV or a movie. I have eaten an entire box of Froot Loops in one sitting (more than once) and was mostly unaware of how MUCH I was actually eating till I felt the bottom of the box.
  • andyluvv
    andyluvv Posts: 281 Member
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    I never understood the idea of "comfort" food - as eating has never ever made me feel better when I'm bothered, lonely, sad, angry.....doesn't even take my mind off it for 2 seconds. In fact if I am really upset, I do not want to eat at all.

    I eat when I'm bored, maybe when I'm anxious and feel like I should "do" something - and it never helps, lol...it only helps with the boredom, slightly.

    I am more of a habitual eater. As in, I will eat ...and eat....and eat....and EAT when I'm watching TV or a movie. I have eaten an entire box of Froot Loops in one sitting (more than once) and was mostly unaware of how MUCH I was actually eating till I felt the bottom of the box.

    I always thought of boredom eating as part of comfort eating - "I'm bored, got nothing to do...I'll eat".
    Which happens to me a LOT. That's how I end up drinking too much sugary drinks at work - no customers...water s boring...oh I'll make another cappuccino. I'll drink milk...and so on lol
    But yeah, I sympathize AND identify with you there.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    I guess it could be considered comfort eating...I never thought of it that way. I only thought of it as "I'm upset, angry, hurt, lonely, I need to eat." I guess you're right, boredom could fit right in there.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited November 2015
    Honestly for me though it doesn't happen with things I don't really love. You could put grocery store cookies in front of me and I wouldn't care (unless it's Wegman's or Whole Foods, lol).

    I don't eat out of boredom either. I mean sure, if I'm bored my mind is more likely to think about something specific that I want to eat, but I've never thought of food as something to pass the time (I am glad it's one issue I don't have, lol).

    Comfort? Not in the sense that it makes me feel better and changes my feelings. Just in the sense that it brings me pleasure to eat something delicious (and yeah that's how I ended up eating too much popcorn last night and ended up at 213 pounds 3 years ago). I mean, people might be super excited to get to read a book or go see a movie or hang out with friends... I get super excited at the idea of eating delicious food (and other things, sure, but yeah). I guess you could say that food is a hobby for me and it sucks to have to cut down on your hobby (I don't deprive myself, but down the line, it's *never* enough).

    I'm convinced that it has to do with your personality too. I easily get 'obsessed' with things. Probably why it got so easy to get into MFP for me too... when I get into something, I don't do it half way, typically. And it's the same with food.
  • OyGeeBiv
    OyGeeBiv Posts: 733 Member
    When it comes down to it, most people are really trying to avoid eating the cookies and cake someone brought to a meeting. I've brought this up at meetings, and suggested we bring healthy snacks instead - or no snacks. My suggestion has been well accepted most of the time, and people will thank me for bringing up the subject.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    edited November 2015
    In the past year or so I've made a pact with myself to not indulge in something unless I'm going to REALLY REALLY enjoy it.

    And the fact is, a lot of processed desserts / snacks, I do not enjoy - they taste "off." I don't like a lot of breads - because they just don't have the yum factor for me, unless it's really wicked garlic bread, or the tomato basil bread from Panera, or Cracker Barrel biscuits. LOL. Most sweets that are available these days, unless they are home made, are not exciting enough for me to enjoy... Very few bagels are enjoyable... So it does make it easier when I go to a meeting where a continental breakfast is offered - 99% of the muffins, pastries, and bagels do not interest me and if there's fruit I'll eat that.

    Problem is when I find something I really really really enjoy and bring it home, I really really really have a hard time controlling myself and eating it in moderation. Like Froot Loops, or those wickedly yummy Candy Corn Salt Water Taffy things available at Walmart in the weeks before Halloween. :neutral:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    64crayons wrote: »
    When it comes down to it, most people are really trying to avoid eating the cookies and cake someone brought to a meeting. I've brought this up at meetings, and suggested we bring healthy snacks instead - or no snacks. My suggestion has been well accepted most of the time, and people will thank me for bringing up the subject.

    Good point. I guess it depends though... at those bakery classes I went to, everyone was more than happy to indulge when offered (and I'd say that less than half of us were overweight). But yeah, a lot of times it seems that people are very self conscious about not being the first one to eat something, so food just stays there (but it's very hard for me not to think about it).

    But I remember as a kid visiting people for tea and eating a ridiculous amount of cookies just because they were there.. but if it's something I have at home, I'll be less likely to eat it too. Then there's no sense of urgency and having to eat more before the opportunity is lost (which is why my binging solution was to buy MORE of the things I binge on, so I have a lot, and there's no 'I need to eat them before they're gone' urgency).
  • andyluvv
    andyluvv Posts: 281 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    64crayons wrote: »
    When it comes down to it, most people are really trying to avoid eating the cookies and cake someone brought to a meeting. I've brought this up at meetings, and suggested we bring healthy snacks instead - or no snacks. My suggestion has been well accepted most of the time, and people will thank me for bringing up the subject.

    Good point. I guess it depends though... at those bakery classes I went to, everyone was more than happy to indulge when offered (and I'd say that less than half of us were overweight). But yeah, a lot of times it seems that people are very self conscious about not being the first one to eat something, so food just stays there (but it's very hard for me not to think about it).

    But I remember as a kid visiting people for tea and eating a ridiculous amount of cookies just because they were there.. but if it's something I have at home, I'll be less likely to eat it too. Then there's no sense of urgency and having to eat more before the opportunity is lost (which is why my binging solution was to buy MORE of the things I binge on, so I have a lot, and there's no 'I need to eat them before they're gone' urgency).

    That's quite an interestng way of handling it. I've been eating quite a bit today down to the cold and I think I've noticed that it's fine to eat "a lot" for one day, it's the consistency that matters in the end.
    You won't get thin by eating like a thin person for a day, but you will get thin if you eat like one for a year...with the occasional "I miss my fatty" days. That's pretty much how I've managed to stay in maintenance...going up and down the scale once a month and adjusting my eating habits every now and again. I fnd it hard to have one serving of anything or not end a pack of cookies but talking to friends - a lot of people are like that.

    So yeah, the little indulgence won't break the bank as long as you're consistent throughout the rest of the time. I have a hard time with biscuits and chocolate. I'm a cookie monster, but having said that - the peanut butter oreos (OMG SO DELICIOUS) are still in the shelf - I had two today. I also had two halves of a bar of chocolate at work yeterday and left two pieces for Monday. So I'm trying to do the same thing as you @Francl27! I just hope it works lol.

    The rest of my calories I've pretty much spent it on healthier foods, a lot of fruit and veggies...off for some shopping now to get some magic burn! XD
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Thinking about food constantly may not be OCD but I think the four step mental exercise to break free can still be effective.
  • 100df
    100df Posts: 668 Member
    Oh I obsess terribly. I love going to craft shows this time of year. There are 3 today. All will have home baked yummies. All I can think about is the food that I will want to eat. I keep going back and forth in my head whether the white knuckle effect that I am going to feel is worth even going. Then I feel badly that this is even an issue. I enjoy walking around looking at the crafts. I should be able to go without feeling uncomfortable. I get more upset that I am obsessing which makes me feel worse so want to eat even more.

    Round and round it goes in my head.

    Same thing happens when I know my husband has sugary food in the house.

    If I could control myself, I could have 1 serving like a normal person and stay within my calorie goal. It won't stop there though. Hate admitting this but denying it certainly hasn't helped.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    susan100df wrote: »
    Oh I obsess terribly. I love going to craft shows this time of year. There are 3 today. All will have home baked yummies. All I can think about is the food that I will want to eat. I keep going back and forth in my head whether the white knuckle effect that I am going to feel is worth even going. Then I feel badly that this is even an issue. I enjoy walking around looking at the crafts. I should be able to go without feeling uncomfortable. I get more upset that I am obsessing which makes me feel worse so want to eat even more.

    Round and round it goes in my head.

    Same thing happens when I know my husband has sugary food in the house.

    If I could control myself, I could have 1 serving like a normal person and stay within my calorie goal. It won't stop there though. Hate admitting this but denying it certainly hasn't helped.

    I could have written the first part of your post. Can't go anywhere without thinking of the food that will be there, so often I end up deciding not to go so it's easier on me, but then I miss out on it too... It's crazy. Sometimes I actually manage to get to the conclusion that it's silly and I'm going to go and have fun and not have any food, but it doesn't happen that much. But that's how I ended up not going to the food truck festival in October. Way too dangerous. The last time I went I probably ate 2500 calories of stuff!

    It took me years to get rid of my 'need' to have a snack every time I go somewhere too. It's a habit I picked up as a kid and lasted way past my 20s. So it's probably linked. For me having a tasty treat was always part of the fun.. I'm trying hard not to teach my kids the same thing, so I'm not that mom who always brings snacks every time we go somewhere (but if we go to the farm I often end up buying their apple cider donuts, even if I don't always have one).

    For the second part, well, always having treats in the house has made it easier for me, honestly (and having a cupboard with MY stuff). I know there'll still be some tomorrow. Doesn't work with perishables though, obviously (those baked goods, man).
  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
    Yes. I'm the same. I can make snack-packs of nuts to use "on the go", but when I'm home I can sometimes easily eat 4 or 5 of those packs without thinking about it (even as the empty bags build up beside me) just because I have it at home. I don't even have to be hungry (or not after the first one).

    It's a problem that I'm going to work with a therapist about, but that's because mine is just part of a larger eating problem. I'm glad so many people are realising it in themselves though and are taking steps to prevent it from happning.
  • blackcoffeeandcherrypie
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
    Lol, I don't think I have a mental disorder - but I do think I have an unhealthy mental reaction to available food and that's something that can be worked on, whatever you want to call it.

    As regards snacks when going places - YES! My mother was very controlling over what I ate (because I was a fat kid) but if we were out in town, or at a restaurant, all bets were off and I could have something nice. To this day, when I think of whether or not it will be fun to go somewhere, probably 50% of my unconscious thinking is 'I could get a coffee' or 'we could have lunch'. The thought of going somewhere and coming back without eating anything feels almost cruel.

    Treats in the house is the worst thing for me, because it's there, so I'll eat it. My husband brought back some multi-pack crisps last night and we literally ate our way through them. If it's not there, I won't miss it, so that's much better for me.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    OP, you're just a foodie who loves food. That's a good thing. Yes I do relate because I'm a foodie too. Since I was a little kid and decades before I started carrying extra weight.

    No need to diagnose yourself with a mental disorder, imo.

    Strong appetites for pleasure are a sign of health, not disease. That's where the urge comes from. Robust health. I work with people who refuse to eat. Believe me, that's a horrible place to be - mentally and physically.

    There's a cultural phenomena taking place in Western countries where we reflexively turn everyday thoughts into clinical thoughts which then seem to require a disease label, or at least the pondering of such. Don't fall for it. We've been conditioned this way with all that we've read, watched and been exposed to in the media.

    Controlling food intake by old fashioned eat-everything-in-moderation or by using some elimination techniques will get you on track with weight loss. Scour this site and all the information and advice about how to do it is here :smile:


    I like this answer.
  • bebeisfit
    bebeisfit Posts: 951 Member
    I struggle most when it's 'free' food. Money wise, not calorie free. Such as a company meeting or lunch or when they do happy hour. I also used to travel for business - I was also 20 pounds lighter and fitter. Somehow, though, everything I worked for went out the window, I wanted to use up my travel allowance. It's like I can hear my mom or grandmother say 'take more...it's free!"

    sigh
  • andyluvv
    andyluvv Posts: 281 Member
    Alluminati wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    OP, you're just a foodie who loves food. That's a good thing. Yes I do relate because I'm a foodie too. Since I was a little kid and decades before I started carrying extra weight.

    No need to diagnose yourself with a mental disorder, imo.

    Strong appetites for pleasure are a sign of health, not disease. That's where the urge comes from. Robust health. I work with people who refuse to eat. Believe me, that's a horrible place to be - mentally and physically.

    There's a cultural phenomena taking place in Western countries where we reflexively turn everyday thoughts into clinical thoughts which then seem to require a disease label, or at least the pondering of such. Don't fall for it. We've been conditioned this way with all that we've read, watched and been exposed to in the media.

    Controlling food intake by old fashioned eat-everything-in-moderation or by using some elimination techniques will get you on track with weight loss. Scour this site and all the information and advice about how to do it is here :smile:


    I like this answer.

    I really like it too...I think that we end up training ourselves to be a bit scared of food when we end up finding out calories and such.
  • spellblocktango
    spellblocktango Posts: 3 Member
    I have the same problem. Especially when you talk about justifying getting more, like seconds AND desserts. I have the same thought process, and the worst part is that usually these buffet settings are during what are supposed to be fun, meaningful gatherings! Thanksgiving, birthdays, tailgates, they're all nightmares for me.
  • blackcoffeeandcherrypie
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie Posts: 486 Member
    spellblocktango wrote: »
    I have the same problem. Especially when you talk about justifying getting more, like seconds AND desserts. I have the same thought process, and the worst part is that usually these buffet settings are during what are supposed to be fun, meaningful gatherings! Thanksgiving, birthdays, tailgates, they're all nightmares for me.

    Thanks for this. It's really reassuring for me to know that other people do this :-)

    Also - you're right, I do think of buffets as fun gatherings. But part of me wonders - how much of my sense of 'fun' is based around the possibility of food? Especially that kind of carby, snacky food you often get at buffets - crisps, nuts, sausage rolls, cake... Would I still think it was fun if it was a low-cal vegetable buffet?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie wrote: »
    spellblocktango wrote: »
    I have the same problem. Especially when you talk about justifying getting more, like seconds AND desserts. I have the same thought process, and the worst part is that usually these buffet settings are during what are supposed to be fun, meaningful gatherings! Thanksgiving, birthdays, tailgates, they're all nightmares for me.

    Thanks for this. It's really reassuring for me to know that other people do this :-)

    Also - you're right, I do think of buffets as fun gatherings. But part of me wonders - how much of my sense of 'fun' is based around the possibility of food? Especially that kind of carby, snacky food you often get at buffets - crisps, nuts, sausage rolls, cake... Would I still think it was fun if it was a low-cal vegetable buffet?

    Haha nope it wouldn't be.

    I'm not a social person. For me it's ALWAYS been about food.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    blackcoffeeandcherrypie wrote: »
    spellblocktango wrote: »
    I have the same problem. Especially when you talk about justifying getting more, like seconds AND desserts. I have the same thought process, and the worst part is that usually these buffet settings are during what are supposed to be fun, meaningful gatherings! Thanksgiving, birthdays, tailgates, they're all nightmares for me.

    Thanks for this. It's really reassuring for me to know that other people do this :-)

    Also - you're right, I do think of buffets as fun gatherings. But part of me wonders - how much of my sense of 'fun' is based around the possibility of food? Especially that kind of carby, snacky food you often get at buffets - crisps, nuts, sausage rolls, cake... Would I still think it was fun if it was a low-cal vegetable buffet?

    I wouldn't. Blech. At the same time, I wouldn't turn down a fun event because it wasn't food based. However, I'm realizing that if something important-ish comes up during meal time when delicious food will be present, I'm okay to skip and just get something blah later, because the goodies will always be there waiting for me next time

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