How you react when someone calls you fat?
_The_Lone_Wolf_
Posts: 160 Member
So i work in a gym and i have had a bad couple years and gained about 27kg/59lbs due alcohol addiction and bad diet.
Anywayz, every now and then we get these interns that are around 20yo. Now we have this annoying kid and he annoys the hell out of me and today we got in a argument while i was working out and told him to stop bothering me when im working out and he replied "what you want to do about it, you can't throw me out" and he knows i can't but told him piss me off enough and i will, then he started the fat calling, and after i already warned him he continued, the anger that came over me was like the younger me and i wanted to rip his head off.
But instead i told him he better stfu and i walked away because i dont want to fight in front of clients but it still annoys me that i didnt *kitten* up that little ^%@$#.
How you guys deal with such insults and you think i did good to walk it off or should ive taught him some respect?
Anywayz, every now and then we get these interns that are around 20yo. Now we have this annoying kid and he annoys the hell out of me and today we got in a argument while i was working out and told him to stop bothering me when im working out and he replied "what you want to do about it, you can't throw me out" and he knows i can't but told him piss me off enough and i will, then he started the fat calling, and after i already warned him he continued, the anger that came over me was like the younger me and i wanted to rip his head off.
But instead i told him he better stfu and i walked away because i dont want to fight in front of clients but it still annoys me that i didnt *kitten* up that little ^%@$#.
How you guys deal with such insults and you think i did good to walk it off or should ive taught him some respect?
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Replies
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Believe it or not, violence does not teach someone respect (if that was what you were implying). Could you approach your manager about this?! What exactly is this guy interning for? I sure hope he will not be working with clients if he has that horrible attitude towards people who have weight to lose.
I honestly, would have done what you did - tell them to *kitten* off then walk away. I would also report this incident to your supervisor and/or HR department for harassment. Document EVERYTHING.0 -
If I got so angry that even had to ask this question, or if I focussed on how much younger than me someone was, I'd probably look into therapy.0
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@dakotababy yeah already discussed it with the supervisor. He is going to school to be a personal trainer some day.
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><0 -
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Therapy may help you to stop making excuses for your behaviour (which I don't buy btw, as lots of people have rough upbringings but they don't all make the same choices as adults). Find peace in and for yourself, not just to appease random people that you feel insult you.
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80TAURUS80 wrote: »@dakotababy yeah already discussed it with the supervisor. He is going to school to be a personal trainer some day.
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Seems to me that you are making progress as far as rising above your past and the simple fact that you acknowledge the anger issue but didn't react with violence is a good thing. Yeah, that kid definitely needs to learn some maturity and respect, but since this happened in your work place I think you did the right thing. Let the manager address it but keep them informed if anything else happens.
Some day that kid will grow up (hopefully) and feel badly for what he said to you. I hope he gains that maturity before he starts working with clients.0 -
That i feel insult me?CurlyCockney wrote: »@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Therapy may help you to stop making excuses for your behaviour (which I don't buy btw, as lots of people have rough upbringings but they don't all make the same choices as adults). Find peace in and for yourself, not just to appease random people that you feel insult you.
My behaviour?
Hmm i find your view very "interesting" so he said several messed up things to me and in the end i walked it off and i making excuses?
Mkay.0 -
I can't imagine having someone like that as my personal trainer.
I think you did the right thing, let him know you have had all you can take and walk away.
I definitely would be sure the manager knew what a jerk the guy was. It doesn't seem like he is well suited for encouraging someone who is trying to move toward being healthy.0 -
Sorry, I should have worded it better. If someone calls me "fat" I don't see it as an insult, because...I'm fat. Of course, depending on who said it and how they said it I may choose not to stay in their company, but facts don't make me angry. You mentioned his age more than once, and I picked up on it because I couldn't see the relevance to what happened. You also didn't say what the argument was about. On limited information, and given that you asked how we would deal with it, I thought I answered your question.0
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80TAURUS80 wrote: »@dakotababy yeah already discussed it with the supervisor. He is going to school to be a personal trainer some day.
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Seems to me that you are making progress as far as rising above your past and the simple fact that you acknowledge the anger issue but didn't react with violence is a good thing. Yeah, that kid definitely needs to learn some maturity and respect, but since this happened in your work place I think you did the right thing. Let the manager address it but keep them informed if anything else happens.
Some day that kid will grow up (hopefully) and feel badly for what he said to you. I hope he gains that maturity before he starts working with clients.
Now that i calmed down im thinking i shouldt even have responded to his dumb *kitten*, it's just, im working my *kitten* of to get healthier and then he comes talking trash which triggers some things from the past.
Just when you think you have everything under control it seems life was and still is ever learning.0 -
yeah but that is what irritates me, so because im fat you have to say it? If i would say what i think of everyone i see i could go on all day but i don't do that because i learned to respect people, i don't hurt feelings just because i can.CurlyCockney wrote: »Sorry, I should have worded it better. If someone calls me "fat" I don't see it as an insult, because...I'm fat. Of course, depending on who said it and how they said it I may choose not to stay in their company, but facts don't make me angry. You mentioned his age more than once, and I picked up on it because I couldn't see the relevance to what happened. You also didn't say what the argument was about. On limited information, and given that you asked how we would deal with it, I thought I answered your question.0 -
Honestly, is this someone you respect? He doesn't sound like that awesome of a person...so why would his opinion even matter? If he's buzzing around you, why can't you just put in some headphones and tune him out?
I think it's good you walked away, because escalating to the point of a throw down isn't going to solve it, really. Maybe momentarily, but there's likely negative consequences. Also, the stronger person, to me, is someone who resists the urge to take it outside and deals with his anger in a more productive way. That's the harder thing to do, and often labeled the weaker thing, but it confuses me how it's considered weaker when it takes a much stronger person to respond that way. I don't know if that makes much sense. You get what I mean?0 -
80TAURUS80 wrote: »80TAURUS80 wrote: »@dakotababy yeah already discussed it with the supervisor. He is going to school to be a personal trainer some day.
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Seems to me that you are making progress as far as rising above your past and the simple fact that you acknowledge the anger issue but didn't react with violence is a good thing. Yeah, that kid definitely needs to learn some maturity and respect, but since this happened in your work place I think you did the right thing. Let the manager address it but keep them informed if anything else happens.
Some day that kid will grow up (hopefully) and feel badly for what he said to you. I hope he gains that maturity before he starts working with clients.
Now that i calmed down im thinking i shouldt even have responded to his dumb *kitten*, it's just, im working my *kitten* of to get healthier and then he comes talking trash which triggers some things from the past.
Just when you think you have everything under control it seems life was and still is ever learning.
The one thing I've learned is that I'll never know everything, even if I think I do at times. Life is all about learning and growing. I do think he needed to know what he said was wrong, particularly given the situation: working in a gym and training to be a personal trainer and his insult of choice is to attempt to put someone down for their size? Really? It's good that your manager knows about it and I hope it is addressed directly. I would have gotten angry, too.0 -
"Yeah, but next year I won't be fat anymore, and you'll still be stupid." And move along.0
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You did good to walk away.
What I would do is walk away without saying anything to him since he is looking for you to react. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I wouldn't even acknowledge that he exists. Until he behaves in a socially acceptable manner, I would move away from him every time he got within 6' of me.0 -
I would talk up to him and give him a big kiss and say "If we were in prison you would be my main *kitten*".0
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Yeah i get exactly what you mean but its hard because it still feels a little bit i was the weaker one by walking away but i get it, its just when i was in prison and homeless, alot of times walking away wasnt the better option and was seen as weak, thats why i bothers me but i know you are right.Honestly, is this someone you respect? He doesn't sound like that awesome of a person...so why would his opinion even matter? If he's buzzing around you, why can't you just put in some headphones and tune him out?
I think it's good you walked away, because escalating to the point of a throw down isn't going to solve it, really. Maybe momentarily, but there's likely negative consequences. Also, the stronger person, to me, is someone who resists the urge to take it outside and deals with his anger in a more productive way. That's the harder thing to do, and often labeled the weaker thing, but it confuses me how it's considered weaker when it takes a much stronger person to respond that way. I don't know if that makes much sense. You get what I mean?
Haha you are right.80TAURUS80 wrote: »80TAURUS80 wrote: »@dakotababy yeah already discussed it with the supervisor. He is going to school to be a personal trainer some day.
@CurlyCockney maybe but all are different and i had a very rough upbringing and trying to resolve things peacefully but i still have some street in me so every now and then someone can still touch the wrong snare. Plus we are males, testosteron, pride and such ><
Seems to me that you are making progress as far as rising above your past and the simple fact that you acknowledge the anger issue but didn't react with violence is a good thing. Yeah, that kid definitely needs to learn some maturity and respect, but since this happened in your work place I think you did the right thing. Let the manager address it but keep them informed if anything else happens.
Some day that kid will grow up (hopefully) and feel badly for what he said to you. I hope he gains that maturity before he starts working with clients.
Now that i calmed down im thinking i shouldt even have responded to his dumb *kitten*, it's just, im working my *kitten* of to get healthier and then he comes talking trash which triggers some things from the past.
Just when you think you have everything under control it seems life was and still is ever learning.
The one thing I've learned is that I'll never know everything, even if I think I do at times. Life is all about learning and growing. I do think he needed to know what he said was wrong, particularly given the situation: working in a gym and training to be a personal trainer and his insult of choice is to attempt to put someone down for their size? Really? It's good that your manager knows about it and I hope it is addressed directly. I would have gotten angry, too.
Yes! im working to a point i can deal with it like that but you are right.sheermomentum wrote: »"Yeah, but next year I won't be fat anymore, and you'll still be stupid." And move along.
Working on itJonesingmucho wrote: »You did good to walk away.
What I would do is walk away without saying anything to him since he is looking for you to react. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I wouldn't even acknowledge that he exists. Until he behaves in a socially acceptable manner, I would move away from him every time he got within 6' of me.
Gheghe i think when i would do that things would escalate fast ><I would talk up to him and give him a big kiss and say "If we were in prison you would be my main *kitten*".
But thnx all for the replies, really helpful.
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I'm sorry you had to deal with that. If your manager doesn't do anything about it, you may want to file a complaint with HR. His behavior is bullying and at least in my workplace would never be tolerated and the intern would be at risk of losing his job. People call names when they have low self-esteem.
Regarding you, i know it's hard not to give in to jerks and fight back. I might have said to the person, "that's very hurtful and I don't appreciate being talked to that way". By cussing him out and calling him names back, you kind of kept it going.
You obviously are working on you, don't let this distract you from your goal. He's a jerk and the best remedy for jerks is just to just ignore them.0
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