110 lb. Weight Loss!

Talk about some tears this morning! When I looked at the scale and saw 158.8 I immediately got emotional because even though I've been losing, I guess it's one of those things you think will never really happen! Even now, as I type, I'm getting emotional. 158 lbs. is my final goal (anything after that is a gift)! I've lost close to 110 lbs. since January 2010! That's a whole other person!

As I cried into my husbands shoulder this morning, even though he was happy for me, I think it was hard for him to comprehend what I was feeling. (It's hard for anyone to comprehend what I'm feeling that has never had a weight issue.) I'd been so heavy for so long, I guess he just got used to it, and of course, I'd lost weight before and had always gained it back, so for him, (at least in the beginning of this journey), it was probably something that was unbelievable. Of course I had to give him a dig and remind him he promised me a cruise of my choice if I lost all the weight! Well, I'm here! I don't know where I want to go but I've always wanted to go to Italy or maybe the Panama Canal. I also get a new wardrobe which is good because I'm almost in an 8 and don't have a single thing in my closet close to size 8, (except for some shorts that I can button but are still tight).

I've learned so much about myself over the past year and a half. No matter your weight loss journey, (dieting, exercise, surgery, etc.), it's hard work! There is no easy way to get the lbs. off, and most of all, you have to really want, and want it for you! You have to want to live like you've never wanted to live before! When the doctor told me in 2009 I was going to die at an early age because my liver was so full of fat, I cried! I bawled! My oldest son was about to get married and I still had a son, (then 14) at home. If I died, what would happen to them, and what things would I miss? The birth of my first grandchild last year for one, and the light of my life! My second oldest is getting married next year, and my youngest graduates in 2013!

Of course, there's my husband. He's retiring in the next two years. We have our whole future together as empty nesters. And, since he's retired military, we can fly anywhere the Air Force flies for free, which means a great deal of traveling in our future! Now I can fasten the seat belt on the plane! Now, I can keep up! Now, I won't be out of breath! Now, I won't be embarrassed for for my husband to be seen with me! Now, I can be proud of myself (no matter how much sagging remains)! I am finally free to be me! I finally rid myself of the layers I was hiding behind, (for whatever reasons), and am free to me! The old me (with my sense of humor and adventure), and the new me who has gained so much wisdom over the years, and a new found appreciation for life!

Of course, it doesn't end here...oh no. This is only the beginning! My body really needs some toning! I'm a bag of sag! He he! (She lovingly says.) And that's just it! I love myself! For the first time in my life, I really love myself! I've been small before but I didn't love myself! I don't know if that's just age or what, but I'm grateful, and I'm happy with what I see in the mirror now; sags and all!

For those of you who are on this weight loss journey, I want to encourage you to stay on the path. Don't let anything or anyone keep you from becoming healthy; including yourself because believe it or not, we are our own worst enemies! When we get scared, as the layers are removed, we quickly retreat into our comfort zone, putting the layers back on. If you don't have someone to guide you spiritually, psychologically or otherwise, get someone. I prayed a lot, and as most of you know, I have a very strong faith in God. I found my strength, my courage through Him! I know not everyone feels the same way but whatever your beliefs; whatever means help you to becoming healthier, reach out and ask for help! Look deep inside for your inner strength!

You can do this! Love yourself! Care enough about 'you' that nothing prevents you from being healthy; whatever that means for each of you, (because being healthy 'is' different for each of us). Weight and size do not matter. What matters is how you feel about yourself, and what the doctor says about how healthy you are or are not. The height and weight chart say I should be between 111-148 but I've always been closer to the 148 than the 111, and I feel good at the weight I'm am now. Don't go by charts, go by feel, and don't compare yourself to others. Each of us has a different body type. I will never be a size 2 or 4 or 6, just like I will never be 5'6", 5'7" or 6'0"!

My mom, sister, other family, and friends have been on this journey with me. I'm happy to say they are all doing well with their individual journies and I'm so proud of them all! You can do this! I have faith in you! For those of you yet to start your journey or find the motivation to begin, I hope what I have said will help you! I didn't want to be another statistic and I didn't want to die in a double sized coffin! I want to see my family grow and be with my grandchildren! I want to live a long life and grow old with my husband. I want to live!

I just want to thank all of you for supporting me on my journey. Mostly I want to thank my husband for never commenting on my weight or making me feel less of a person becaue of it, and for supporting me no matter what! I love you so much!

Highest Weight: 282 Starting Weight: 268 Current Weight: 158.8 Final goal: 158
Starting Pant Size: 24 Current Pant Size: 9 Final Goal: 10
Starting Shirt Size: 3X Current Shirt Size M/L Final Goal: M
Starting (Liver) ALT/GPT: 67 Current ALT/GPT: 25
Starting BMI: 49.9 Current BMI: 27.3 Final Goal: 24