Self-image problemه

One of the things I found was most successful in me believing someone could love me was learning to love myself first. The person above me nailed it in their first sentence. Try to change your perspective. If someone wouldn't love you because of your weight, are they really worth your time in the first place? It isn't easy to change the way you think. Believe me, I know. It took me a few years to get where I am today. But take some time for yourself, and don't worry about that part too much. Treat yourself kindly. Take time to do things you love. Eat well (and indulge sometimes), exercise, and work on you. In time, you will notice slight changes in yourself. The first time I noticed it was when I looked in the mirror and actually liked what I saw. The second time, was when I saw a picture my sister had taken of me - caught mid laugh - and realized I was happier than I'd been in a long time. The most recent was when my boyfriend told me I am lovable, and for the first time, I believed it.

Hello,
I remember being young and feeling the same way. ( besides the fact that I was unhappy with myself, my grandmother would constantly tell me I couldn't eat treats because I would be fat and no man would marry me . so it was a vicious cycle. I would eat more, feel worse, and so on. )
Finally one day I knew I had to begin with myself. I had to work on myself and let go of the negative feelings. You can love yourself at any size, while still improving your weight . your weight is just a very small part of who you are. It doesn't define you. Its just a number. But what matters is what's inside . learn to love yourself from the inside and work on the outside along the way. What matters is what's in your heart not the number on a scale. So learn to love yourself from within first. Once your able to accomplish that, the external stuff becomes less important anyway.

I'm not sure how you can love yourself and want to change yourself at the same time, surely hating yourself is enough motivation for you?

I don't try and love myself I will love myself when I've pushed myself hard enough and I look the way I want to look

Loving yourself and loving the way that you look are two entirely different things. If you don't at least like the way you look, then change it. There are many ways to change your look, since its the most superficial and unimportant piece of "you." Loving yourself is a whole other thing. You are many more things than your mere outward appearance. You are the things that you do and the things that you CAN do, even those that you have not yet done. Love yourself for all the things that you are and will be. Let the outward appearance that you create be the manifestation of those things.

Weight loss is about health, too. So even if you love your look and self at an unhealthily heavy weight, make some changes to try and ensure you'll stay fit and strong and pain-free for a long time. Health is quite important!

ARGriffy wrote: »

bethclabburn wrote: »

I'm not sure how you can love yourself and want to change yourself at the same time, surely hating yourself is enough motivation for you?

I don't try and love myself I will love myself when I've pushed myself hard enough and I look the way I want to look

I love myself, I'm kind and compassionate, I manage a very happy, successful restaurant son I love how well I'm smashing my career, im a doting wife and a best friend to a choice few, I love my personality and me as a human. ...I just still don't love what I see in the mirror! Sometimes the two aren't connected unfortunately. .. or fortunately depending how you view it!

Yes!

Career and life is great. Self image isn't. I relate to that and also feel that lag between weight lost and self image catching up.

Wanting to improve is good for me. It isn't self hate, just a desire to not punch that inch of fat here and there.