Done fine till S/O came back. Help.

Hey ya'll. Needing some suggestions. Me and the g/f broke up for like 4 months during the summer and I lost weight and was able to truly watch what I eat. Now we are back together(don't judge LOL) and she wants NOTHING to do with eating like I was before she came back into the picture. Needing suggestions on how to get around or how to deal with the bad habits she has. Temptation gets me and I'm putting weight back on. She loves sweets and that is my ONE weakness. Any suggestions on how to get around stuff like this? Please help. LOL

Replies

  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    Unless she is forcefully feeding you, aren't you responsible for what you eat? You'll have to deal with the temptations best you can. Do you want to be the weight you were headed toward before the re-unification, or do you want to submit to temptation and be what you will become? We all get the body we want. What do you want, and how badly do you want it?
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    Hey ya'll. Needing some suggestions. Me and the g/f broke up for like 4 months during the summer and I lost weight and was able to truly watch what I eat. Now we are back together(don't judge LOL) and she wants NOTHING to do with eating like I was before she came back into the picture. Needing suggestions on how to get around or how to deal with the bad habits she has. Temptation gets me and I'm putting weight back on. She loves sweets and that is my ONE weakness. Any suggestions on how to get around stuff like this? Please help. LOL

    Let her do her...you do you.

    Her habits don't automatically become your habits, unless you let them.
  • buckmaster299
    buckmaster299 Posts: 27 Member
    Best way around temptation though? Any suggestions with that? It is something I'm working on but i suck at resisting certain temptations. LOL
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Have some personal responsibility.

    Why not try a moderation approach and work the sweets into your calorie goal? As long as you're not over-indulging, you won't gain weight.

    But yea, she's not forcing you to eat these things, so don't blame her. Everyone's eating habits are their own. You do you, let her do her.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Moderation and self control. Boring but effective :)

    If you are a sweets fan, budget them into your day or week--one serving per day or two servings per week or something else that satisfies your sweet tooth but also allows you to balance your calorie budget overall.
  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
    Best way around temptation though? Any suggestions with that? It is something I'm working on but i suck at resisting certain temptations. LOL

    Just keep practicing saying no until it sucks less....
  • strong_curves
    strong_curves Posts: 2,229 Member
    Best way around temptation though? Any suggestions with that? It is something I'm working on but i suck at resisting certain temptations. LOL

    Just say no or if the "temptations" can fit into your goal, have a small serving.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Best way around temptation though? Any suggestions with that? It is something I'm working on but i suck at resisting certain temptations. LOL

    Just keep practicing saying no until it sucks less....

    Yep. Saying "no" is like exercising or cooking or any other skill, it gets easier the more you do it.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    Maybe less of a suggestion than a parable:

    I've been married for 30+ years to a man who is skinny as a rail and can eat whatever he wants. Now, for the most part, he eats fairly healthy, but we both love salty snacks.

    For years I blamed him for making me fat by bringing chips and pretzels and other starchy salty snacks into the house. We'd been married about 5 years when I got made enough (probably at myself) to confront him about it.

    He was sincerely (and rightfully) taken completely off guard. He had no earthly idea that in my head I had made him the Food Villain for "staining" my pristine cupboards with heathen contraband.

    He was dumbfounded, and his face said it all. I realized at that moment that what went into MY mouth was not HIS job or his responsibility, and that I was the one being completely unreasonable.

    To this day (some 25+ years of happiness later), when I see a bag of Salty Heathen/Heaven in the pantry, I flash on the look of utter shock and baffled baffled confusion on that dear man's face when his wife went bat-*kitten* crazy on his butt over a bag of Fritos.

    It's that mental image that keeps my hands off of his snacks, and out of my mouth!

  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
    Who says you can't have sweets, too? You should be able to fit them into your day with a little budgeting.
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
    edited December 2015
    jemhh wrote: »
    Best way around temptation though? Any suggestions with that? It is something I'm working on but i suck at resisting certain temptations. LOL

    Just keep practicing saying no until it sucks less....

    Yep. Saying "no" is like exercising or cooking or any other skill, it gets easier the more you do it.

    Yup. Took me forever to get this through my head- after a lot of trial and error. The longer you practice this, the easier it is to tell when you really want a treat or if you are just being greedy. I really like Coca Cola, there is always a case in my fridge because my bf likes it too, but now I enjoy it more as treat than drinking it all day, every day. I know now, through trial and error, if I go back to old ways it will only take me longer to get to my goal. He lives and eats how he wants- I had to find my own balance.

    Maybe only eat sweets when you are with her, when you are by yourself or at work stay away from them. This way you can have them in moderation and can fit them into your goals. From my experience... if you bring it up to her/try to blame her only makes the situation worse and makes everyone feel bad for no reason. Your weight is your responsibly, not hers!
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    I agree with people that if you can moderate your intake and control the amount that would probably be the most ideal.

    For myself I tend to do best if I modify my environment. Have you talked to your GF about this? I would recommend doing that in a way that doesn't attack her or make her feel like the problem because she is not.

    For example, my wife loves Candy. I try to avoid it because I tend to overindulge and it tends to increase my hunger throughout the day. I asked my wife to just not keep it out in the open at eye level. She has a little cupboard where that stuff goes.

    For me, I don't want Candy until I see it on the shelf then I want it and I have to constantly remind myself to only eat a certain amount and not eat more and so on. This gets tiring but when its in the cupboard I never see it and the thought never crosses my mind.

    Something to think about.
  • TrickyDisco
    TrickyDisco Posts: 2,869 Member
    I was always giving in to sweets, biscuits, cakes, ice cream and chocolate once - would buy a lot of this stuff in the weekly shop and once it was home in the cupboards it'd play on my mind, would HAVE to have some or all of it, most of it didn't last the week or even a few days. But I know these things are my downfall and what seems to have worked for me is to work smaller portions of these treats into my allowance rather than deny myself them completely. So have some - not lots and not all - the more I practiced this the easier it was to have a smaller portion and be satisfied with it, to actually savour the food by eating it more slowly and so enjoy the taste/texture for longer.
    Can now watch my OH tuck into larger portions of cakes and biscuits beside me and not even have to have something at the same time, but in the past that was impossible. I had to re-train my mind to not want so much of these things so often and make them be a small treat instead; it does work in the long run.
  • fireyes
    fireyes Posts: 31 Member
    Maybe request that she try to not eat sweets around you? I had this problem too, and at first I tried to just deal with it, but it was always so exhausting and frustrating. Eventually I talked to him about it and he has been super supportive. He still eats mostly the same things, but when we're cuddling or watching TV together or something, then he sticks to the snacks that don't tempt me but that he still enjoys, like jerky and licorice. (Or snacks that we both enjoy and I don't feel guilty about, like popcorn or nuts!)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    My teenage children didn't want to share their treats so they switched to ketchup and salt and vinegar chips (which I hate).

    Are there any sweets you are not as keen on that she likes?

    Or you can store them in the freezer to slow down consumption.

    Or she can have a SO free shelf that is hers alone. Inhale the aroma and go chew on a carrot.

    I eat something right before I leave the office so I don't come home hungry when my willpower is at its lowest.

    I'm a fan of whatever works.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Hubby has agreed to keep the stuff put away so I do not see it. It is no great sacrifice for him and it helps me tremendously.