Just needed to get this out

heyaliwood458
heyaliwood458 Posts: 75 Member
edited November 27 in Motivation and Support
In less than a year, I had lost 102 pounds. I went from 272 to 170. For being 5'9 1/2 that weight wasn't horrible. Since then, I had surgery and gained back about 40 pounds, putting me at 208. I felt so miserable about myself. I hated myself for giving up and I hated myself for going back on my own promise (I had promised myself I would never be above 200 again). I've gotten back on track now, and I'm at 189 currently. I just still am having such a hard time accepting myself for who I am and for loving my body no matter what the number on the scale says. Honestly, I just want to feel good in my clothes and I want to feel good naked. I just get so discouraged sometimes because losing the weight now is way more difficult than before for whatever reason. It seemed like the weight used to fall off and now it's taking me so much longer. I keep thinking about where I could be right now if I hadn't fallen of the wagon and I know that's no way to think especially because I'm back on track but I can't help it. I'm definitely my own worst enemy and my own worst critic.

Replies

  • desweds
    desweds Posts: 126 Member
    edited December 2015
    Young lady, you ARE KICKING *kitten*! You had SURGERY, gained 40 pounds and by your own admission "I've gotten back on track". Way to go!

    So I say you didn't gain 40 pounds. I say you're down 81 pounds overall and only 19 pounds from a new record.

    I'm 54. I wish I had been as wise as you to take control of my health at your young age.

    I'm sure there are others who will post here and challenge your methods and maybe give you good ideas on what to change to continue to enjoy your success. I just want you to know that there is one old grandpa out there who finds your progress amazing.
  • cheryldowney86
    cheryldowney86 Posts: 30 Member
    desweds wrote: »
    Young lady, you ARE KICKING *kitten*! You had SURGERY, gained 40 pounds and by your own admission "I've gotten back on track". Way to go!

    So I say you didn't gain 40 pounds. I say you're down 81 pounds overall and only 19 pounds from a new record.

    I'm 54. I wish I had been as wise as you to take control of my health at your young age.

    I'm sure there are others who will post here and challenge your methods and maybe give you good ideas on what to change to continue to enjoy your success. I just want you to know that there is one old grandpa out there who finds your progress amazing.

    Amazing response!!!
  • IILikeToMoveItMoveIt
    IILikeToMoveItMoveIt Posts: 1,172 Member
    It's good to vent. I was getting past a trouble spot in my weight for the 3rd ish time when I got pregnant again. So I had to start all over from before my first pregnancy. Talk about loosing the same weight over and over. It does feel like it takes longer than the first time/s. You're going to have bad days but no matter what, just keep making some kind of progress. You're really close! If you find that the way you're thinking is making you miserable, maybe talk to a therapist and see about an underlying issue. I have issues about being good enough that I deal with/keep in check. Among other things. You are worth loving, by yourself and others. Hope this helped...
  • heyaliwood458
    heyaliwood458 Posts: 75 Member
    desweds wrote: »
    Young lady, you ARE KICKING *kitten*! You had SURGERY, gained 40 pounds and by your own admission "I've gotten back on track". Way to go!

    So I say you didn't gain 40 pounds. I say you're down 81 pounds overall and only 19 pounds from a new record.

    I'm 54. I wish I had been as wise as you to take control of my health at your young age.

    I'm sure there are others who will post here and challenge your methods and maybe give you good ideas on what to change to continue to enjoy your success. I just want you to know that there is one old grandpa out there who finds your progress amazing.
    desweds wrote: »
    Young lady, you ARE KICKING *kitten*! You had SURGERY, gained 40 pounds and by your own admission "I've gotten back on track". Way to go!

    So I say you didn't gain 40 pounds. I say you're down 81 pounds overall and only 19 pounds from a new record.

    I'm 54. I wish I had been as wise as you to take control of my health at your young age.

    I'm sure there are others who will post here and challenge your methods and maybe give you good ideas on what to change to continue to enjoy your success. I just want you to know that there is one old grandpa out there who finds your progress amazing.

    Wow that was the sweetest thing, thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate them :)
  • heyaliwood458
    heyaliwood458 Posts: 75 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words :) I know we all are here to change our lifestyle and we all through struggles so having people to support you is so important during this. You're all such wonderful souls.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    I know all about dwelling on my mistakes, shortcomings, and what have you. This simple phrase really struck me when first thought of it, and now I try to remind myself: You don't have to feel bad about it. You just have to work on it.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    It's going to go slower, because you are close to goal! Yay! The weight falls off when you have a lot more to lose, so the good part is that you don't have nearly the amount to lose as the first time :) You're one of those with 'a little bit' to lose, so it's a very good thing. You got this!
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