What do you think is the point of comments like this?

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distinctlybeautiful
distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was putting on rain pants over my pants, and my co-workers said something about them. I told them I'd gotten them from the lost and found when I used to work at a golf course, and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

I started thinking about it later and have been wondering what was the point in saying it. I mean, I understand that she was saying it's unlikely for her to randomly come across clothes in her size, but the tone and inflection had the effect of making me feel slightly uncomfortable (and a little indignant - I shouldn't feel bad for being in a healthy weight range!).

What do you think? I think it may be relevant to say that she and the other co-worker are both very overweight.
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Replies

  • OhMsDiva
    OhMsDiva Posts: 1,074 Member
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    I think you may be hyper sensitive if you recently loss weight. I might not say something like that to a co-worker but I would to a friend or a family member. It actually is true. Either way, they called you small so it is a compliment. That is the way I would take it.
  • retailwizard1
    retailwizard1 Posts: 84 Member
    edited December 2015
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    I think she's mad you got free clothes that they couldnt ... jealousy... not sure why that would make you feel bad... they were actually being complimentary I think
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    I'd either think nothing of it (it might be true) or feel complimented that she thought I was "small."
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    The tone is probably already because she is 'very overweight'. That's why she sounds bummed when she says that. It's not about you much at all, imho. It acknowledges you are small, but that's not a big deal by itself, surely.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    I was putting on rain pants over my pants, and my co-workers said something about them. I told them I'd gotten them from the lost and found when I used to work at a golf course, and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

    I started thinking about it later and have been wondering what was the point in saying it. I mean, I understand that she was saying it's unlikely for her to randomly come across clothes in her size, but the tone and inflection had the effect of making me feel slightly uncomfortable (and a little indignant - I shouldn't feel bad for being in a healthy weight range!).

    What do you think? I think it may be relevant to say that she and the other co-worker are both very overweight.

    Maybe she was saying small people lose their clothes at golf courses and larger people don't.
    It is a bizarre confusing comment.
    I don't see why you would feel the slightest bit bad even if your co-workers are bitter about not finding random clothes in their size in lost and found boxes. Very few people of any size are going to go to a lost and found box and find pants that fit them perfectly. It has never happened to me at any size and probably never will. You were incredibly lucky I guess.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
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    Thanks, y'all. I'm not worried about it. I just think a lot and got curious about it. I guess it sounded more accusatory to me. And they're men's pants.. they're not cute, and they're way too long! They're rolled up and safety pinned at the bottom. Think a tamer version of parachute pants..
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    People say all kinds of stupid stuff to fill the silence. I wouldn't give it much thought.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
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    I have always had smaller feet, when I was younger, I could get really cute shoes on clearance. Those with larger feet in a more common size 7 didn't have the same selection at the lower price. I never thought they were anything other than jealous.
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
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    Maybe she just meant that lots of us get too fat for our clothes and have to give them up, so people who stay an appropriate size luck out by getting to pick them up. It's not necessarily a hostile comment! Of course, I don't know what tone the remark was made in.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    People say all kinds of stupid stuff to fill the silence. I wouldn't give it much thought.

    This is the best answer. True this.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    She's a debbie downer. I think I used to be like that.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    I was putting on rain pants over my pants, and my co-workers said something about them. I told them I'd gotten them from the lost and found when I used to work at a golf course, and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

    I started thinking about it later and have been wondering what was the point in saying it. I mean, I understand that she was saying it's unlikely for her to randomly come across clothes in her size, but the tone and inflection had the effect of making me feel slightly uncomfortable (and a little indignant - I shouldn't feel bad for being in a healthy weight range!).

    What do you think? I think it may be relevant to say that she and the other co-worker are both very overweight.

    I don't know, I wasn't there. However, I've had people say similar things to me, and I usually just say thanks and change the conversation.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    People say all kinds of stupid stuff to fill the silence. I wouldn't give it much thought.

    And this.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    i HATE when people tell me that I'm not fat too. i wish every rando I encounter would say how overweight i am.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    I take every dumb thing as a compliment. Last summer I was at Ravinia and bummed a car ride home and was told "you're small, you can fit in the back" and felt really good about it even though I'm sure it was really because the person saying it wanted to ride in the front.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,946 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    ... and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

    I think I would have given them a great big grin and said, "Yep!"

  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    ... and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

    I think I would have given them a great big grin and said, "Yep!"

    I wish I had the nerve! It's like when people tell me I look tired.. my husband says I should say, "you too," but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Argggh she was using you to put herself down and maybe stick a little knife in while she did that.

    Too many women think self-deprecation counts as conversation and/or needs to be heard by anyone. Everyone should just stop it.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,946 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    ... and one of them said, "yeah, that's what happens when you're small."

    I think I would have given them a great big grin and said, "Yep!"

    I wish I had the nerve! It's like when people tell me I look tired.. my husband says I should say, "you too," but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.

    The ideal time to do it is just as you're walking out the door. Then they're the ones posting "What do you think is the point of comments like this?" on their favourite forum. :grin:


    Anyway, their comment "yeah, that's what happens when you're small" just means, "I wish I were small". That's all. Another reply could be, "Thanks" :)

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    You know what, next time she says something like that, just ask her - "Why would you say that?" Make her say it out loud.

    Then, she has to either go on about herself - in which case you should say "You know, it sucks that you talk about yourself that way. I don't know if you're aware, but it's uncomfortable to hear." She can think whatever she wants, but why drag everyone into her internal monologue? Rude.

    Or, she'll make a more explicitly jealous comment like "you're so [whatever, thin blah blah]". In which case you could say something like, "well, it's taken me a while to figure out what works for me, and it was the right time for me to do it". (Which is true for everyone who makes a big lifestyle change. Then maybe "Yes, I'm glad to have made progress, but you shouldn't let that bother you, it doesn't actually have anything to do with you. Everyone needs to do their own thing". Ok I've actually never said that to anyone but have wanted to many times, instead of gritting my teeth through a "thanks!" which also is ok.

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