fixing a messed up relationship w/food?

CeleryStalker
CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
edited September 28 in Food and Nutrition
After having lost a bunch of weight on various, let's called them 'lowered' carb intake diets (because I wasn't doing Atkins induction, etc, I stayed on plans that kept me around 80-100g of carbs daily), I have a distorted relationship with food. The result is, well, of course I gained weight back, but I'm struggling with finding that happy balance. I know what I should be eating on the regular. I know that some whole grain pasta or whole grain bread is acceptable, but I feel like I should be wearing a scarlet letter every time I consume even a very minimally processed whole grain. I've FINALLY gotten over the 'guilt' associated with eating FRUIT....(one of the downfalls of seeing such quick weight loss on programs like MediFast is that they completely ban fruit during the weight loss phase).

Now, as I re-align myself, create new goals, a new master plan complete with daily exercise goals, I'm struggling with the nutrition part of things because I still feel 'guilty' for eating things I shouldn't feel guilty over. This might not be such a big whoop, but I notice that when I feel guilty, whether or not it's warranted, I tend to feel like a failure, and when I feel like I'm failing, I jump off the wagon and binge eat.

My main concern is establishing a healthy relationship with food again. I'm not looking for a super fast weight loss routine. I'm cool with the healthy 'up to 2# a week' weight loss goal. It's this psychological battle with nutrition that is getting to me.

Any ideas to get me over this hump? I mean, it's ridiculous I should have to feel like I failed today because I had a half cup of pasta with some sauce on it for lunch. The crappy thing about it is, when I feel guilty over eating carbs I SHOULD be consuming, I start to attack the rest of my meal plan for the day, skimming off other important food items to 'make up' for something I shouldn't be making up for in the first place.

It's ridiculous that 1200-1500 calories a day plus exercise isn't cutting the mustard for me, and the frustration just makes me want to say to hell with 'real food' and go back on MediFast...where I can lose weight quickly and then play dodgeball trying to not gain it back again. Argh!

Replies

  • vsyates
    vsyates Posts: 373 Member
    I'm also trying to align myself with the 'taboo' foods from my previous low-carb diet. I carefully study the calories in the foods I'm eating and let the carbs, sugars, proteins fall where they may. It's not so much a struggle anymore.... Just keep on working with it and things will get easier -- just stick with it a day at a time :smile:
  • Meg28
    Meg28 Posts: 59
    Best of luck! 1200 calories IS hard, everyone here I bet would agree :) I personally cannot eat less than 1500 b/c I just get hungry, but if you workout it all works out. A couple of weeks on this and you will really know what foods you can eat guilt free and what you just splurge on.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    I think I would rather play dodgeball. :grumble:
  • kelzz193
    kelzz193 Posts: 120 Member
    Oh I hear ya on this one!

    As a Atkins alum who put that 60 easily lost pounds right back on during pregnancy #1 with the help of Mr. Krispy Kreme & his delightful hot "forbidden" carbs I felt like I was committing a crime eating carbs! It took me being preggers to realize my body needed good carbs as fuel. However I went nutso eating every carb I wasn't "allowed" to have the past year and packed on 75 punds. Ugh.

    I still struggle with this concept today and it's been two yeaers since baby 2, ~80 pounds lost with the help of good ol diet and exercise. I did break down and go to a couple consultations with a registered dietitian. That really helped me personally because I had such a distorted view of carbs. I try to get all my carbs I can from either fruit, veggies, whole grains or dairy. My basic rule of thumb the outside ring of the grocery store. If it's in the middle isles 9/10 too much junk in it I don't need! Do I have the occasional fiber bar? Of course I do!! Along with eating out and living a normal life. But on the whole that mentality has helped me.

    Good luck on your journey. Best advice I can give you is take it day by day, it's a long winding road this weight loss journey.......and bottom line you need some pasta to fuel you along the way ;)
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    i cannot speak from a shared experience .. as have never even been tempted to try low or no carb plans.. i enjoy carbs too much *L*

    however...
    i have found that one of the greatest sources of feeling good about my choices now, is that so long as i am keeping to whole grain products, and using them more as a treat/condiment with each meal, so long as i bulk up on the fresh veg at the same time (i try to have lots for lunch and supper), i feel 'good', healthy in both mind and body.

    my diary is public if you'd like to see... today's lunch (soup i made) is a good example of this i think.
  • Sofitness
    Sofitness Posts: 54
    I think I've posted so much about this book that I have to look like somebody who gets paid for it, but anyway... I'd recommend you to order "Intuitive Eating" (by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch). I haven't even read it (as it's not possible for me to order at this moment), but even summaries of it helped me make my relationship with food so much better after an eating disorder.
    Briefly, it rejects the diet mentality, it teaches you how and why you shouldn't feel guilty after eating and how can you get to your ideal weight without counting every calorie or every gram of carb/fat you eat.
    The most important thing about this whole thing is that it'll guide you to being an intuitive eater, thus having a healthy relationship with food based on permission to eat whatever as long as you're hungry (it's a bit more complicated than that, but yeah, that's basically it). If you think it's impossible to loose weight this way - I did. I'm about 5.5 lbs lighter after 3 weeks, and even though I do log my intake now (to watch my health more), most of that time I just ate inuitively.
  • supermom1114
    supermom1114 Posts: 577
    Ok, you need to make peace with your food. This starts with.... whatever YOU want it to start with. Baby steps here. You don't have to jump back into a full fledged balanced diet if you're not ready. Obviously since it's causing you to cut out important nutrients in other areas and binge on not so great stuff, you aren't ready, and that is perfectly fine.

    Find something that you can add in everyday for say two weeks or whenever you are comfortable. Then add something else.
    So examples may be, can you add a piece of whole wheat toast in with breakfast everyday? Once you get used to that add in something at lunch, after that something at dinner. And remember, you set the pace. You have control. Don't give power over your emotional well-being to an inanimate object like whole wheat pasta.

    When you are feeling the urge to binge because you feel guilty remember that urges don't last. They are like waves, they start out small, just a twinge of guilt, start building, say by you putting yourself down in your head, but eventually will wash away, if you don't let it crash into you and end in a binge. Stay strong. Acknowledge that you feel guitly, but don't allow yourself to dwell on it. Change the script you play in your head when it all starts. You may have to practice this before you eat something and start feeling guilty though. So I ask you, whats the first thought that pops into your head when you eat a whole wheat carb? Is it that you feel guilty? Ok, but logically you know because you stated above that you shouldn't feel guitly. So instead of letting your mind take that next step and begin the script that ends in you feeling like a failure, write something new. Write down an argument for why whole wheat products are good, why you need healthy carbs to fuel your dodgeball and your everyday life, write down why you don't deserve to be controlled by food any longer. Then the next time you feel the urge come on, read your new script to yourself. Be the leading attorney for the argument that carbs are ok, carbs are good. Fight for your emotional well-being back

    And remember that when you do give in(setbacks are part of the growing process, its normal), it doesn't mean you are a failure! We are all humans! We make mistakes! Thats ok! Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Promise yourself you'll do better that very minute. When you are in a binge the sooner you can stop, acknowledge what happened, forgive yourself, and move on the better. Don't dwell on your mistakes, find new resolve to do better next time from them and move on. Thats the only thing you can do, you can't go back and fix the past, you can only change your future.

    I hope that helps, and feel free to add me as a friend, read my profile, I've struggled with food, but it was attached to my mental state of feeling like a failure. I've been there, and I've had a few classes in nutritional counseling for my degree as well. Message me if you need anything! Take care of yourself and remember, You achieve what you believe. If you believe you can make these changes and you can stick with it, you'll get through the journey and be better on the other side for it. If you dont change the mental talk in your head and keep believing you'll fail then thats where your focus will be and you'll struggle until you change your thoughts. <3
  • supermom1114
    supermom1114 Posts: 577
    I think I've posted so much about this book that I have to look like somebody who gets paid for it, but anyway... I'd recommend you to order "Intuitive Eating" (by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch). I haven't even read it (as it's not possible for me to order at this moment), but even summaries of it helped me make my relationship with food so much better after an eating disorder.
    Briefly, it rejects the diet mentality, it teaches you how and why you shouldn't feel guilty after eating and how can you get to your ideal weight without counting every calorie or every gram of carb/fat you eat.
    The most important thing about this whole thing is that it'll guide you to being an intuitive eater, thus having a healthy relationship with food based on permission to eat whatever as long as you're hungry (it's a bit more complicated than that, but yeah, that's basically it). If you think it's impossible to loose weight this way - I did. I'm about 5.5 lbs lighter after 3 weeks, and even though I do log my intake now (to watch my health more), most of that time I just ate inuitively.

    Second that! It's a great book!
  • gec1266
    gec1266 Posts: 201 Member
    Hello,

    Not saying this WILL work for you,however,what I have found to work for me has been the "runner's diet". Several small meals a day (along with water) and it has sped my metabolism and led to a 37 pound weight loss. I hope that this has been helpful and i wish you well on your weight loss journey.......gec1266
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
    You may need to do some reading about what each thing does for your body and why we need it. I have a few links in my sig that may help. We all need a certain amount of fats, carbs, sodium and sugars in our diets. It's important that we know how much and work towards eating that balance. The only no no foods for me are those I am allergic to or have no control over.

    Perhaps it would help to write up a few meal plans for yourself at least at first.
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
    LOL When I posted about playing dodgeball, I meant trying to dodge the weight gain that always seems to happen after I lose weight. I'm a cyclist, not a dodgeball person. hehehe :D

    I agree with the shopping method where you stick to the perimeter of the grocery store. It's amazing how much garbage they pack in those aisles, isn't it?

    I'm trying to keep myself in tune with whole grain, whole food eating. Pretty much the rest all falls into place. The tricky part is, I KNOW this...i just can't seem to let go and let what I know guide my emotions. It's weird. I hate it!
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
    You may need to do some reading about what each thing does for your body and why we need it. I have a few links in my sig that may help. We all need a certain amount of fats, carbs, sodium and sugars in our diets. It's important that we know how much and work towards eating that balance. The only no no foods for me are those I am allergic to or have no control over.

    Perhaps it would help to write up a few meal plans for yourself at least at first.

    I've been reading a ton about the hormone surges that happen when you eat certain things, like carbs. Reading and learning about how our bodies work is kind of an addiction for me. The hard part is making the transition from knowledge to lifestyle. I *know* that there are chemical reasons why when I bake a batch of awesome cookies, I can't stop eating them until they are gone. I know the only way to beat that mess is to not bake them to begin with. It's the every day regular eating that I struggle with even more....knowing that I am allowed, and should be consuming, each of the macronutrients, but seemingly unable to let go of the notion that certain foods are 'forbidden'. I'm in need of some serious cognitive therapy.
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