I am not obsesed....

sjkcarter
sjkcarter Posts: 417 Member
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
Just a short venting.

My best friend thinks I am obsessed with exercising, and watching what I eat. When people notice that I am losing weight, she always has something to say, like "that's because she's not eating". I let her know that I eat all day, I just don't eat as much she does in one meal. I don't say that to her, but that is what i'm thinking. I just get so sick of her complaining about her weight, and asking me if her face looks fat in pics, or if she's as fat as other people she sees. Quit complaining if your not going to do anything about it. When she said she wanting to workout, I told her about this website, and I even said I would workout with her. She did it for one day. I let her know when I going to workout, but i'm not going to force her. She will figure it out at some point, or maybe she won't. I'm going to do me, and she can do her.

Replies

  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Well... she's probably just jealous. If she is not supporting you, and keeps hating on you, I might re-evaluate that friendship. Don't know the situation though so it's just a suggestion.
  • mgis11
    mgis11 Posts: 7
    even if she does think you are "obsessed" i don't understand how being obsessed about eating healthy and working out is a bad thing? don't listen to her, you're doing great =)
  • alfredapittman
    alfredapittman Posts: 256 Member
    You are certainly not obessed but you do have a hater in your midst. She's not happy and she doesn't want you to be happy. Keep doing you girl. Keep up the good work and congrats on the 7 pounds.
  • Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet
    Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet Posts: 486
    You are definitely not obsessed. Shame on those who bring you down because you're doing something for your health!! You keep doing what you're doing...
  • ashleighloses
    ashleighloses Posts: 2
    I've heard the same. My trainer said that its hard as black women to lose weight because it's not something we really do when you think about it. You're told that you look fine now and when you start to lose weight and especially get closer to your goal, you'll be told you look sick or too skinny. But you know who and what you look like when its just you and the mirror. So forget what they say and more power to you!
  • breskittle
    breskittle Posts: 75 Member
    My friends do the same thing. Every time this one friend would see me she'd tell me to eat a sandwich. I tell her to stop eating so many sandwiches. She has gained about 50 lbs in the last year or so.
    Those types of "friends", they are jealous and putting people like us down because they don't want to see us succeed because it reminds them of the fact they are not obtaining their goals.
    Its sad because they are supposed to be friends.

    She always made fun of me in front of ppl then would text me and ask for help and motivation. I would help her still, I knew eventually if she stuck to it she would be happier and not project her negative self image on ME. But she never stuck to it.
    She continues to make excuses why she is too busy to diet or exercise ... and she still puts other people down.

    I have stopped hanging out with her. We're still friends but not close.
    People like that will drag you down. If they cant love you and support you then they aren't worth having.
    Would you let a man treat you like that? Then your best friend shouldn't.
  • CoachMaritova
    CoachMaritova Posts: 409 Member
    I have a few friends like that... one in particular that sounds JUST like the friend you just described... it can be very frustrating! I have also been called "obsessed." I read a great quote on fb the other day: "Obsessed is a word that the lazy use to describe the dedicated." LOL
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    I let her know when I going to workout, but i'm not going to force her. She will figure it out at some point, or maybe she won't. I'm going to do me, and she can do her.

    Amen to that. My younger cousin who used to live with me (she's 16) is like 250lbs and very unhappy with her weight. She has steadily gotten larger over the years. When she sees me now all she says is "man you look too skinny" or makes comments about how if she had someone to workout with she would. So, I told her about this website. She used it for 3 days or so then stopped. I even went to her apartment (where they have their own gym like 1 minute down the hall) and worked out with her. She wanted to quite 20 minutes into it. Until she actually wants to do something about it, then nothing is going to change. Same for your friend. She may also be jealous of you too.

    I know that I said I was going to get serious and workout and change my life for at least a year before I actually did something about it and have stuck to it.

    Try not to let her get to you. She will see how amazing you look then maybe jump on too but until then just tell her to mind her own eating habits rather than yours because you are doing it in a healthy way.
  • capricorn144
    capricorn144 Posts: 335 Member
    People hate change I think ...they also can have some passive - aggressive attitudes at times. They don't like being left behind.

    I DO understand what you are saying. Just keep doing what you are doing. You are on the right track. :flowerforyou:
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    It's sad to say but she may be jealous. To be able to accomplish something like weightloss is something MANY cannot do. She's not where you are mentally so don't expect too much. It may be time to reevaluate the relationship. If she's like this now, what's going to happen when you reach your goal weight and she's still where she is now? Something to think about...
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Sounds lke a mix of jealousy and insecurity. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her and let her know that these comments are not appropriate and are snide and hurtful. She may not realize how much it's bothering you.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Sorry double post.
  • Minnesnowtagurl
    Minnesnowtagurl Posts: 406 Member
    Oh my gosh I hate it when people react to us this way. Also yes, I agree and I am sorry to say but it may be true that if they have a problem with it, most likely it is going to be due to the fact that there is some type of jealousy because she cannot find the will power and self control to lose weight her self.

    Maybe you are going to have to remind her the next time she says something negative that you are trying to make a healthy life style change that influences your self and those around you in a positive way. You may need to remind her that she is not being very supportive as a "friend". Sometimes there are things that we say to others and they get may not get the picture until they have had time to reflect. This might be one of those moments....
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    I know what you mean. My best friend was just saying to me that she thinks I'm too obsessed with this. I apparently only talk about food nutritional content. I dunno about that, but I usually only get to call her when I'm at the grocery store or something so it's on my mind. My fiancee also gets irritated or feels bad about himself when I'm eating something healthier than him. I've tried to get both of them into MFP, but neither of them has taken to it like I have.
  • weallhaveastory2tell
    weallhaveastory2tell Posts: 13
    DO WHAT BEST FOR YOU. SO WHAT I AM OBSESED TO, AND I HAVE LOST 17 POUND YOU DO YOU. AND YOU BE HERE FRIEND..ANY WAY
  • Andee08
    Andee08 Posts: 147 Member
    I understand that feeling. My best friend is overweight and keeps telling me how its ridiculous I eat so healthy. I have tried to get her to sign up here or at least order slightly healthier food, but to no avail. I have even offered to drive to her house (45 minutes away) to get her to go for a walk but she doesnt want to get up. The last time she complained about her weight, I told her I didnt want to hear about it until she was ready and willing to do something about it. She was just diagnosed as Pre-Diabetic with a BMI of 50% done by a body scanner...I am hoping for her sake this will get her moving.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I understand that feeling. My best friend is overweight and keeps telling me how its ridiculous I eat so healthy. I have tried to get her to sign up here or at least order slightly healthier food, but to no avail. I have even offered to drive to her house (45 minutes away) to get her to go for a walk but she doesnt want to get up. The last time she complained about her weight, I told her I didnt want to hear about it until she was ready and willing to do something about it. She was just diagnosed as Pre-Diabetic with a BMI of 50% done by a body scanner...I am hoping for her sake this will get her moving.

    You really can't force people to get healthy. That has to come from within themselves. :(
  • jackieh1191
    jackieh1191 Posts: 20
    One word...JEALOUSY! Keep up the good work!
  • Csayen
    Csayen Posts: 1 Member
    I ain't gonna lie girl I thought at first that you were obsessed with this stuff. But now that I am making changes myself..you have to be obsessed about it in order to make it a lifestyle. Being obsessed about it makes all the crappy eating habits go away. She doesn't understand and will be the way she is forever until she makes the good changes that you made/ and are making. Maybe just try not to talk to her about it since you know what she is gonna say anyways ya know.
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