Suggestions for better coping mechanisms?

I agree w/knk1553 -- professional help might be the best thing right now. Sometimes no matter how much we want to, we can't THINK or FEEL our way out of our emotional "pit," especially after a series of really traumatic events, or when you're already prone to depression or anxiety. I've been there, and having a great therapist has helped me immensely. If you have a good, safe, helpful place to go and a knowledgeable person to give you some good tools, you'll be so much stronger and able to cope the next time you find yourself "low."

A lot of employers and health plans provide free counseling (at least for a certain # of sessions), and lots of docs also take most insurance plans so you only have a co-pay.

The other thing I do in the immediate moment is just focus on the NEXT moment -- I'm just gonna drink this bottle of water first, and then see how I feel. Now I'm just gonna walk down the block and back and see how I feel. Now I'm gonna read 1 chapter of this book (or whatever else you usually enjoy), and then I'll see.:ohwell: If you can just find little (even silly) things to get you to that next moment, next hour, next day...sometimes that's all it takes, and suddenly w/baby steps, you're in a different place in your head, and feeling better.

GOOD LUCK to you, and many HUGS. :flowerforyou:

First of all, I just want to say that you are stronger than you think you are. You came here looking for help. When I was at that point, I didn't ask for help and ended up suffering more because of it. I have to agree with the other posters that are suggesting professional help. Most employers have Employee Assistance Programs that cover mental health professionals. That is where I went first and called the first psychologist they gave me. I have been seeing him for 3 years now, along with a psychiatrist for medication and am actually able to fight the depression now.

One thing my psychologist told me to do is to give in to the depression. Let it come and let it teach you. And like you, food has been my coping mechanism. I also hate when people tell me to exercise when I am depressed, it is harder than they think. Just know that you need to stay away from food when it hits you. I usually either go lay down or leave my house, just to get away from the tempation of food.

I hope you take some of the suggestions on this post. Sometimes it just helps to have a friend to talk to. If you want, you can friend me and together we can help each other out.

I use art as an outlet, drawing or painting. doing those things help keep me focused rather than driving myself crazy. I'm a brooder & get stuck in quicksand with my thoughts.

Well, for me, eating is a sensory thing, and there are other sensory things that I find calming and comforting - such as listening to classical music, burning a scented candle or incense stick, sitting in a steam room, sauna or hot tub, having a massage, or even massaging myself.

Another thing I find helpful is keeping a journal - writing out all my thoughts and feelings helps to work through them. I try to do this on a regular basis anyway, but f I am going through a difficult time, then I really make myself do it every day, sometimes more than once a day, because I know it helps.

And reading/watching a tear-jerker feel-good book/movie. I find that really cathartic.

Do you have a hobby that you can get totally absorbed in? I like to draw, and I find getting totally absorbed in drawing is a very calming process - and when I'm absorbed in it, I'm not even thinking of other things like eating.

I also agree with seeking counseling to help....it in the meantime, find something to do with your hands. I was going through a very difficult time at the end of the year last year and I took up crochet to give me something to do and keep me busy. I never ended up making anything (I have about 3 unfinished projects!) but it got my mind off of things, I could take as much time with it as I wanted, and it was cheap. When I looked at my progress it really helped me feel accomplished. There are a ton of online tutorials that helped me learn. It may not be your cup of tea, but maybe use that idea to find something that suits you.

Best of luck in your journey to get out of this depression - I know therenarendifficult days, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other and going on.

My doctor suggested for me to start with excersize and counselling. And then if that doesn't work drugs. HA easier said than done right? MUSIC is pretty much the only thing that can help snap me out of the pity party. I used to listen to metal, but as it turns out I have to be into a good mood to listen to metal (who'd have thunk it). So I have progressed into electronic upbeat dancing type music. And I dance ALL DAY LONG. Also, sometimes I think these feelings are there because your mind is telling you your not being the person you want to be. If you set long term goals and take baby steps toward achieving those goals not only do you find yourself distracted, but it gives you a direction to keep walking in. For instance, my goals right now: run a full 5k in 2016, I made a bet with my buddy about who will beat whom at the spartan race this year (loser has to eat dried maggots and other insecty snacks), I also in this journey discovered that I need to go back to school and get a degree and masters if I want to live the type of life I have planned for myself. So for now I'm signing up for upgrading so I can start school when my children are school aged. And because I suffer from depression and need that extra boost, I have motivation all around me in the form of quotes, charts, calendars, menu guides, reminders. I hope that helps. You can pm me if you have any questions or want to see photos of the guides and charts. You can do this. This program really works and it's 80 percent food. I was 220 pounds last January 1st, now I'm 158 and a size 8. Organization is the key.

I've battled depression, drug addiction, and alcoholism in my life, as well as emotional eating. Exercise turned my life around. No lie. To this day, exercise is still the number one thing that keeps me going. This is why I tell people to find a type of exercise they enjoy. If you don't enjoy it, you won't stick to it. Don't just try something once and decide you don't like it. Try a whole bunch of things and try them numerous times. Chances are you will find what you enjoy doing. But also, find a way to deal with your emotions. Do something healthy. Talk to someone, write it down, whatever it takes. When you feel you want to eat emotionally, find something to busy yourself. It's not always easy to get up and do something when you are feeling down, but once you do it, you'll be glad you did.

Since it seems like your losses were a few years ago you may have clinical depression and could benefit a lot from professional help. Once you're able to get out of the black pit you'll be able to follow through on some of the great advice in this thread.

like another person who posted..... I enjoy gardening. i call it playing in the dirt. i can nurture my plants, they don't talk back or attempt an eye-roll, lol.
honestly, i'm one of those exercisers...... except..... now i can't. i'm in physical therapy for hip pain and i've been banned from running and cycling and i "shouldn't" do yoga, but heck, i gotta do SOMETHING. the mindfulness training in yoga is helpful, as is gardening...... my only other idea is mint gum. i am not as tempted to dig into the kids' snacks if i'm chewing mint gum (sugar free!)