Preparing separate meals for you and your family difficulty
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I just do minor modifications and they eat what I cook or don't. LoL
A few easy subs in our house:
Lettuce wraps as an option on taco or fajita night
Portabello caps as an option for crust on make your own pizza.night
Cauliflower puree in place of mashed potatoes .. my whole family loves this.
Spaghetti squash as an option for pasta on pasta night
Eggplant Rolatini in place of lasagna
Same as in the snack cupboard. We have chips and crackers together with popcorn and apple chips. Protein bars and granola bars. Etc.
My kids are becoming interested in my choices and asking questions about nutrition .. my son insists that a loaded pizza is nutritious because it has all the food groups.. I'm happy they are learning and taking notice.0 -
I'm the cook so I make what I want and if they don't like it, they can cook something else. That said, I'm not a big, mean food nazi, only cooking what I like/want and they get to suffer. Because I have food restrictions that my family doesn't have to adhere to, it would be cruel to take away all that goodness because I can't eat it. Or don't like it. I'll usually make the same meal for all of us but with some minor changes for me.
For example, I don't care for pasta. I know, I'm weird, but I just really don't like it. I do however like spaghetti sauce so when I make spaghetti for dinner I'll make the sauce and not combine the noodles with it. This way they can put it on their nasty pasta noodles and I can put it on spaghetti squash or zoodles (zucchini noodles). I REALLY like it that way! It doesn't take much more work for me and we're all happy.
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We also all eat the same thing for dinner. Just make sure it is measurable and you are good to go. In other words, I serve myself and put my own gravy on my mashed potatoes so I know how much of everything I got.0
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Like everyone else, I am the cook and my husband eats what is in front of him. He is not picky and he likes my very simple and unsophisticated cooking so no problems there. My husband doesn't cook or knows how to do it, and he is not interested in learning so he has no choice. I don't even increase his portions very much because he needs to lose few lbs. and I know that he snacks during the day adding extra calories to his diet, and he is not as active as I am. When we go out, he just eats what ever he wants; but portion control is not in his DNA.
You got good ideas from other members, so choose what ever is better for you and your family. This is your "journey," not theirs.0 -
My husband and I have somewhat different nutritional needs, he is actually the more restricted. I make variations on the same food that allow everyone to get what they need.
-tacos: put whatever you want on yours.
-soup/chili: add toppings as you wish.
-pasta: pesto for some, tomato sauce for some, etc
The other thing I do is make something for him one night, and me the next. And the person who doesn't have the fresh dinner eats leftovers.
This means we don't eat many "one pot meals" but oh well. We also have kids, and I stay at home, so that changes the dynamic. Depending on the dynamic at your house, maybe you should each make your own food, or each be in charge of different nights, or whatever works.0 -
vickyhopkins93 wrote: »If I was you I would still eat whatever you make but swap the carb so say your partners having white potato have sweet potato, or if there having white rice make brown rice, otherwise you'll end up wanting to indulge in whatever there eating anyway learnt from experience hope this helps slightly x
This is pretty much what I do. Or if I am having something my husband or son really don't like they will have something like a frozen pizza. I don't make them eat the food I do if they don't like it. But I don't really cook 2 totally separate meals either.0 -
dawnmcneil10 wrote: »I always have options available for example, say tonight I'm having quinoa, chicken and roasted veggies. My hubby isn't a fan of roasted veggies so he'll heat up a different veggie (frozen or canned) and we'll both pick our own seasonings for the chicken. He may have BBQ sauce for example while I do cajun style dry rub.
I still make homemade mac and cheese, I buy the smart taste pasta because hubby doesn't care for whole wheat use a reduced fat cheese mixed with regular and on my half of the pan I add broccoli.
If you're running the oven to bake something toss in a few extra potatoes, regular or sweet potato, those will become options for another night.
Making spaghetti and meatballs? while the pasta is cooking toss some chopped zucchini or broccoli in the steamer portion and have that either in place of pasta or to cut back on the amount of pasta you eat.
Often times we think their food vs our food and it's really not like that, we all have different tastebuds so work with that. Kids want chicken nuggets for dinner, ok fine the whole family has chicken nuggets but mom eats them on top of a big salad while the kids and dad maybe prefer fries.
Hopefully the examples help a little and you feel a little less overwhelmed in the kitchen.
Yes....this is a great explanation and more of what I do also!0 -
Queenmunchy wrote: »When I make meal plans I sit with the family to do it.
This week we did shepherd's pie, two kinds of broiled chicken wings, quesadillas, sofrito chicken zucchini boats, bbq jalapeno chicken meatballs. Next week we have sausage/zucchini lasagna, Thai peanut chicken, burgers and fries.
I may make some swaps here and there, but these are all pretty much in the 300-400 calorie range (some even lower).
Can I come to your house for dinner?? That sounds delicious!
But OP I agree with the others. I make the same meal for everyone and portion mine out. No need to eat special foods unless there is a sensitivity/allergy.
Come on over! My entire family has the need for some protein and a lot of vegetables, and we like tasty food - who doesn't? I have the addition of celiac, and I usually cut most grains because they don't settle well for me, but my 8 year old or husband don't need copious amounts of fat or sugar any more than I do. Everything is just balanced. Nothing is off limits.0 -
....my husband refuses to do any changes.... Please help!
I think this is an issue which should be addressed. Why isn't he willing to make some changes in order to help you get healthier? And I'm assuming your healthy changes would also be good for your kids. Mealtime shouldn't be a battleground. Many nights you can do as others have suggested above, and have smaller portions of your current foods. But he should be willing to eat some new/different/more-nutritious meals, too. If he thinks "healthy" = "bad tasting", you can prove him wrong!0 -
I make lower calorie versions of our staples and everyone's happy. Or I just don't eat the potato/pasta/rice side if I don't have the calories for it.0
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Sorry to be boring, but I'm another one who cooks the same meal for everyone (husband and two pre-teen kids), and pretty much what I've always cooked - I just eat less of it and as time goes on I realise that I really didn't need the amount I was putting on my plate before.0
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I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.0
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I correspond with a young man in Mazatlan and the fresh food available there is divine. You can definitely do this. Here's one of his early cooking adventures.
Cheese on the side. Reduce the fat in the cooking by a quarter. I've made refried beans mashed with water instead of lard. Reduce gradually as the family gets used to how these fresh foods are meant to taste.
Four and six year-olds can make Shish Kababs, fun things. It is good to get them involved at this age so that they learn to be adventurous with foods.
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I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!0
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My daughter and I are vegetarians. My son and husband aren't. I have celiac disease. The rest of my family doesn't.
Sometimes this does mean that we're eating different things. It would be wrong of me to force a solely vegetarian diet on everyone, and sometimes, the kids just want ravioli and I don't think it's too much work for me to eat something else so they can have a gluten-filled pasta supper.
So, what do I do? Well, fortunately, no one minds leftovers or eating the same thing twice. So often I'll cook something for the meat eaters one day, and then the next day, while they're eating leftovers, I'll cook for the vegetarians.
Some nights, the gluten eaters want pasta. Sometimes, I just cook two kinds of pasta. Other times, I'll have leftovers or make myself eggs with spinach or something like that. I'll do the same if they want to order pizza.
I often make double recipes and freeze leftovers to use for alternate night strategies or nights where there won't be leftovers.
I was doing this before I started dieting, so it's really nothing new.0 -
I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
Can he not cook for himself? I mean, I'd be pretty upset if all of a sudden my husband got it into his head that we need to do a complete 180 on our meals, but making subtle changes here and there for the benefit of both of you, well, he is being a little dramatic.0 -
I don't do separate meals, I don't even substitute low-cal anything, I just cut down my portions.
Here is my logic: this is for life. I like my meals regular, not some "diet" version of them. So for me, the only way I can not just lose but actually maintain my losses is by learning to be satisfied with the recommended portions of all the delicousness available out there. This is what got me fat - lack of portion control (and seconds, and snacking...) so this is the number one beast I have to conquer.
So the thing to ask yourself is, what happens after you lose the weight? Are you going to join back with your family in the old type of meals? If cooking and eating low-calorie food works for you for life, more power to you. But I suspect a lot of people fail to maintain their losses for this very reason - they never learned to exercise moderation in their portions while losing.0 -
I do not have any discipline at all.
It sounds like that's your issue right there.
This isn't about what your husband or family will or won't do. This is about you, and how much food you choose to eat.
Like everyone else said, you can just eat what they eat, in smaller portions. If you're not able to stick to the smaller portions of those foods, that's something you need to work on because that's what will help you maintain the loss for life.
I agree with @Wiseandcurious : Eating low-cal or "diet" foods might work in the short term, but it's not a good way to maintain weight loss for life.
Just keep on making what you've always made. Maybe make a few small edits to it, like less oil when you're cooking, or serve sauces on the side so everyone can help themselves to their own amounts. But other than that, there's no reason to avoid eating what your family eats.0 -
I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.
What is inherently unhealthy about Filipino and Mexican food? I find much of that cuisine to be very nutritious.0 -
I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.0 -
I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.
What do you specifically consider unhealthy about those foods?
They have nutrients just like any other kind of food. Higher calories does not equal unhealthy and you can do things about the calories.
Reduce calories by reducing oils in cooking, having smaller portions, having more vegetables. Try grilling meats or vegetables. Have sauces and toppings separate so each family member can add their own.0 -
I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
I think part of your issue is that you think carbs are inherently unhealthy...they are not. Carbs are just one of three macro-nutrients. I eat plenty of carbs and lost weight doing so. I eat cauliflower, but not as any kind of replacement for other food.
I eat potatoes regularly...they are high in dietary fiber and as vegetables go, a decent source of protein. They are also a very good source of vitamin C and potassium...they blow a banana out of the water where potassium is concerned. They are also a decent source of B6, iron, and magnesium and provide for a modest amount of calcium.
Replacing everything with cauliflower would be bland and boring...nutritious and healthy doesn't have to be bland or boring...nothing I create in the kitchen is bland or boring and most of it is highly nutritious.0 -
You know, there's nothing wrong with flour and bread based products either. Save the cauliflower for special occasions.0
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Or take turns. Sometimes it's a heavy meal, sometimes not. That way you both get things you prefer sometimes, and you all might get to try new things!0
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I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.
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... u shut it down. My husband and I embrace it. We talk about everything. This is would be too petty to even make it a "thing".0
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I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.
Amen0 -
I don't have an ongoing issue with my husband, every now and again he complains about not having junk food, but oh well, he is overweight too and I refuse to buy it! I cook and I shop for both home and a large group home. I feed 15 -20 people at a sitting at work, and I have food issues plus diet to contend with. I admit, I struggle when it is right in front of me. I eat sort of what they eat most of the time, and others I just eat my food before and share something like a bowl of fruit as they eat. I do cave in sometimes and am actively working on this now.
What I think might help you is taking a different approach...split the week with what you make. 4 days this week you make what you want, and if he really needs something you left off, he has legs and arms I presume to go on and make it. 3 days are what he likes and you substitute as needed for what you need...for example if its something with tortillas, use lettuce to wrap the filling, or if its rice you can make cauliflower rice as well to cut calories. Then next week switch it...its He gets 4 days and you get 3. So it is fair, and neither one of you is deprived of what you want (or want to do) all the time.0 -
My boyfriend and I each cook our own food. I have food allergies, and so does he, but we have different ones. Mine is to eggs, his is to most nuts. I am also vegetarian and he is not, so it's easier for us to cook separately.0
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