Preparing separate meals for you and your family difficulty

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  • angerelle
    angerelle Posts: 175 Member
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    Sorry to be boring, but I'm another one who cooks the same meal for everyone (husband and two pre-teen kids), and pretty much what I've always cooked - I just eat less of it and as time goes on I realise that I really didn't need the amount I was putting on my plate before.
  • clengonor
    clengonor Posts: 8 Member
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    I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I correspond with a young man in Mazatlan and the fresh food available there is divine. You can definitely do this. Here's one of his early cooking adventures.

    10fPvl.jpg?resize=200%2C200

    Cheese on the side. Reduce the fat in the cooking by a quarter. I've made refried beans mashed with water instead of lard. Reduce gradually as the family gets used to how these fresh foods are meant to taste.

    Four and six year-olds can make Shish Kababs, fun things. It is good to get them involved at this age so that they learn to be adventurous with foods.

  • clengonor
    clengonor Posts: 8 Member
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    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    My daughter and I are vegetarians. My son and husband aren't. I have celiac disease. The rest of my family doesn't.

    Sometimes this does mean that we're eating different things. It would be wrong of me to force a solely vegetarian diet on everyone, and sometimes, the kids just want ravioli and I don't think it's too much work for me to eat something else so they can have a gluten-filled pasta supper.

    So, what do I do? Well, fortunately, no one minds leftovers or eating the same thing twice. So often I'll cook something for the meat eaters one day, and then the next day, while they're eating leftovers, I'll cook for the vegetarians.

    Some nights, the gluten eaters want pasta. Sometimes, I just cook two kinds of pasta. Other times, I'll have leftovers or make myself eggs with spinach or something like that. I'll do the same if they want to order pizza.

    I often make double recipes and freeze leftovers to use for alternate night strategies or nights where there won't be leftovers.

    I was doing this before I started dieting, so it's really nothing new.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!

    Can he not cook for himself? I mean, I'd be pretty upset if all of a sudden my husband got it into his head that we need to do a complete 180 on our meals, but making subtle changes here and there for the benefit of both of you, well, he is being a little dramatic.
  • Wiseandcurious
    Wiseandcurious Posts: 730 Member
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    I don't do separate meals, I don't even substitute low-cal anything, I just cut down my portions.

    Here is my logic: this is for life. I like my meals regular, not some "diet" version of them. So for me, the only way I can not just lose but actually maintain my losses is by learning to be satisfied with the recommended portions of all the delicousness available out there. This is what got me fat - lack of portion control (and seconds, and snacking...) so this is the number one beast I have to conquer.

    So the thing to ask yourself is, what happens after you lose the weight? Are you going to join back with your family in the old type of meals? If cooking and eating low-calorie food works for you for life, more power to you. But I suspect a lot of people fail to maintain their losses for this very reason - they never learned to exercise moderation in their portions while losing.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I do not have any discipline at all.

    It sounds like that's your issue right there.

    This isn't about what your husband or family will or won't do. This is about you, and how much food you choose to eat.

    Like everyone else said, you can just eat what they eat, in smaller portions. If you're not able to stick to the smaller portions of those foods, that's something you need to work on because that's what will help you maintain the loss for life.

    I agree with @Wiseandcurious : Eating low-cal or "diet" foods might work in the short term, but it's not a good way to maintain weight loss for life.

    Just keep on making what you've always made. Maybe make a few small edits to it, like less oil when you're cooking, or serve sauces on the side so everyone can help themselves to their own amounts. But other than that, there's no reason to avoid eating what your family eats.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.

    What is inherently unhealthy about Filipino and Mexican food? I find much of that cuisine to be very nutritious.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!

    I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I hear all of your advices and suggestions and I'm all for it. My biggest set back is that we are a filipino and mexican family and with those foods are not at all close to healthy. I have made some adjustments, but the fam wasn't too fond of it. I can't have my children cook for themselves, they are 4 and 6. My husband is very supportive.... but he is the type to not gain weight and LOVES his mexican cuisine. I think I'll take the smaller portions advice, but the food is just too darn good and I absolutely LOVE food! I think if I can find some great healthy mexican and filipino foods... I'd be all set.

    What do you specifically consider unhealthy about those foods?
    They have nutrients just like any other kind of food. Higher calories does not equal unhealthy and you can do things about the calories.
    Reduce calories by reducing oils in cooking, having smaller portions, having more vegetables. Try grilling meats or vegetables. Have sauces and toppings separate so each family member can add their own.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
    edited December 2015
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!

    I think part of your issue is that you think carbs are inherently unhealthy...they are not. Carbs are just one of three macro-nutrients. I eat plenty of carbs and lost weight doing so. I eat cauliflower, but not as any kind of replacement for other food.

    I eat potatoes regularly...they are high in dietary fiber and as vegetables go, a decent source of protein. They are also a very good source of vitamin C and potassium...they blow a banana out of the water where potassium is concerned. They are also a decent source of B6, iron, and magnesium and provide for a modest amount of calcium.

    Replacing everything with cauliflower would be bland and boring...nutritious and healthy doesn't have to be bland or boring...nothing I create in the kitchen is bland or boring and most of it is highly nutritious.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    You know, there's nothing wrong with flour and bread based products either. Save the cauliflower for special occasions.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    clengonor wrote: »
    I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.

    No, we're saying you should eat what he eats. But just eat less of it.
  • ekruska802
    ekruska802 Posts: 79 Member
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    Or take turns. Sometimes it's a heavy meal, sometimes not. That way you both get things you prefer sometimes, and you all might get to try new things!
  • clengonor
    clengonor Posts: 8 Member
    edited December 2015
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    clengonor wrote: »
    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!

    I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.

  • clengonor
    clengonor Posts: 8 Member
    edited December 2015
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    ... u shut it down. My husband and I embrace it. We talk about everything. This is would be too petty to even make it a "thing".
  • ZeroDelta
    ZeroDelta Posts: 242 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    clengonor wrote: »
    I like the idea reducing gradually... I'm going to try that. I was just having a conversation with my husband and told him about how many people replied to my post and said that he should eat what I eat.... and I told him about maybe changing our carbs to cauliflower. ... and he jokingly said that if I ever gave him mashed cauliflower, he would throw a tantrum and feed it to the dog. Lol I'll just gradually change the potatoes to cauliflower and eventually it will be all cauliflower! !!

    I am sorry but if my significant other ever brought in strangers opinions from the Internet about something in our relationship, that conversation would be very quickly shut down.

    Amen
  • cindytw
    cindytw Posts: 1,027 Member
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    I don't have an ongoing issue with my husband, every now and again he complains about not having junk food, but oh well, he is overweight too and I refuse to buy it! I cook and I shop for both home and a large group home. I feed 15 -20 people at a sitting at work, and I have food issues plus diet to contend with. I admit, I struggle when it is right in front of me. I eat sort of what they eat most of the time, and others I just eat my food before and share something like a bowl of fruit as they eat. I do cave in sometimes and am actively working on this now.

    What I think might help you is taking a different approach...split the week with what you make. 4 days this week you make what you want, and if he really needs something you left off, he has legs and arms I presume to go on and make it. 3 days are what he likes and you substitute as needed for what you need...for example if its something with tortillas, use lettuce to wrap the filling, or if its rice you can make cauliflower rice as well to cut calories. Then next week switch it...its He gets 4 days and you get 3. So it is fair, and neither one of you is deprived of what you want (or want to do) all the time.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
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    My boyfriend and I each cook our own food. I have food allergies, and so does he, but we have different ones. Mine is to eggs, his is to most nuts. I am also vegetarian and he is not, so it's easier for us to cook separately.

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