We broke up because...
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She had no appreciation of small furry things0
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He painted our room blue and white0
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We just started seeing each other and she started taking possession of my things0
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he wouldn't share his things0
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She left lipstick stains on everything0
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he has a p3nis0
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h3 wr0t3 !n w3!rd symb0ls0
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We didn't he's still tied up in the basement ..
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I found men tied up in her basement0
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Only wanted to hang out in the basement0
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Thought the Alamo had a basement0
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Doesn't remember the Alamo even though we were there last week0
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told her to choose between skating or me
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Was so anti winter sports0
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He wore Superman underoos to bed.0
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had to
all my ex'es live in texas0 -
Could not handle a non Texas woman....0
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she got mad when I sang My Bonny lies over the ocean
and I did it all the time0 -
He still wanted his ex..not ready to move on0
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She got mad when I dropped my chocolate in her peanut butter
"No, you dropped your peanut butter in my chocolate!"0 -
Kept "forgetting" I am allergic to peanuts....0
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Her lisp drove me nuts..she kept call my privates her peanuts0
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Kept using peanut flavoured lube... My lips put Mick Jagger to shame.0
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His peanuts were not impressive
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accidentally confused krazy glue with lip stick..
after the surgery I was unable to satisfy her0 -
You'd never take the medal off when we were making sweet love.0
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her gingerbread cookies were not as good as my last girlfriend's. Blame the gluten-free flour, gurl -- not me.0
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He wouldn't take me out. I think he was embarrassed
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