We broke up because...
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haha she would only wear one patch and pretend to be a pirate when we went out0
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Arrrr, he wanted me to get 2 gold teeth fitted to look more authentic. Talk about crazy!0
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Her parrot kept me up at night0
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Whenever we went out, birds would dive bomb him. I guess they knew he hated birds.0
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she kept telling me everything was bigger in Texas.
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Everything wasn't bigger in Texas.
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haha she would try to wear spurs and bring a riding crop to bed0
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He wouldn't wear chaps or a cowboy hat.0
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He wouldn't get back on the saddle0
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accidently called her by the wrong name and she bucked me off too hard0
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Bucked off because he didn't last 8 seconds.0
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She kept leaving the seat up0
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he put plastic wrap over the toilet and Vaseline on the door knob0
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He put the toilet paper roll on "under" instead of the right way: "over."0
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Sweated the *small* things0
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Bless her heart, but she had a bit too much boob sweat.
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Said I got too sweaty during fun times0
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Didn't get sweaty with me nearly often enough0
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Her idea of getting sweaty was running in a sweatsuit0
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Pfft..yeah..but only so we could shower together after our run..
...didnt like to share the shower 0 -
She used all the hot water0
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Made me take cold showers0
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Wouldn't shower with me to conserve water 0
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Too environmental0
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Tried to steal the ropes off the bed to go rope climbing with...nobody touches my equipment
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Cheater...so many women in our bed ..I had to install a revolving door to the bedroom0
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Was always making strange home renovations... Kept getting me lost in secret passages with weird equipment0
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Declared our home to be its own country. Definitely third world0
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I got bored0
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She got bored
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